Massive update
Ok Ok - Fall over in shock and amazement!
I am updating my LJ for the first time in ages.
Everything is catagorised and cut, but none of the cuts are too long.
I can only put my crapness down to busyness in other areas.
The wedding has to have been the best day of my life. Everyone commented that it was the most stress free wedding they had ever been to. Bride, Groom and 13 guests (Parents, grandparents, siblings and witnesses). We were up with the lark and ready so early that we had time to go to the car wash on the way down and were still there 1/2 an hour early. The ceremony was really nice, Kris flapped, and I managed to be unusually calm and collected. We had said no confetti, and gave people bubbles instead, but a few people still threw it. My mum discovered that her confetti was made of rice papaer, and started eating it to see if the different colours were different flavours. We also came out to find that my brothered had decked our car in silly baloons, which proceded to disperse themselves all over Rotherham as we drove to the reception.
The reception was a nice lunch for everyone at the Brecon Hotel on Moregate. I do have to say that the food was bloody lovely.
We took the photos up at Boston Park next to the castle. here is a link to a web page full of them...
http://pictures.moyda.com/
We honeymooned in Whitby, and had the most fantastic weather. (Lucky, as the day after we left Whitby got snowed in.). Bats and Broomsticks was a fantastic place to stay really fun and sexy. We has a double eneded bat, we had champagne, what more could you want! Oh, and the breakfasts wre AMAZING.
In Whitby we mooched round the shops, walked up to the (closed) Abbey. Had wonderful meals at Bagdale Hall and The Dolphin, and had a day out to Bridlington and Flamborough (as I have never been). We both come back very relaxed and happy.
Since I have been back from Honeymoon I have worked hard, and helped out at gigs for Oysterband, Steve Hackett (ex Genesis), The Zombies, and others. Kris's band Deadline have been played on Radio 2 and many other didgital radio stations (and their first single is out soon). I have been greatly impressed by Dead Like Harry 's new album "Stories from the Cellar".
In the world of my own projects I am starting to work with two people called Karen and Luke, another vocalist and a guitarist. Things are very embrionic at the moment, but you should hear more soon.
On 25th February, I got a full time permanent job at Maltby Comprehensive. Which is nice, a bit more sercurity again. I start properly on April 11th.
I am generally much better, Kris has been a star in helping with my recovery. I still have problems now and again with the scar tissue getting sore and inflamed slightly. Kris seems to be a lot better, but he will tell you about that on his LJ.
What follows are my contributions to Viz Profanisaurus ogver the last couple of months. Only read them if you are unoffendable. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Word or phrase: Roaring Titties
Definition: The breasts of your missus when she has been in bed for an hour whilst you have been out on a cold January night. "Darling I'm frozen, can I warm my hands around your roaring titties?"
Word or phrase: Handel
Definition: n. prop. Of the posh and cultured, to light a noisy fart for the purposes of entertainment. i.e. "Fireworks Music". e.g. Nigle Kennedy to Vanessa May "That's nothing darling, when I do a Handel I can shoot a jet of flame 6 feet."
Word or phrase: Grieg
Definition: n. prop. Of the posh and cultured, to go for a Shit between 2am and 7am. An early "Morning Movement".
Sir Simon Rattle to his missus "Sorry for getting back into bed with cold feet dear, but I've just been for a Grieg"
Word or phrase: Beethoven
Definition: n. prop. Of the posh and cultured, to have the "fifth" of the day. Announced by a blast of turtles breath that goes "Ta Ta Ta Daaaa!" e.g. Sir Simon Rattle to his missus "No more broad bean and lentil madras for me darling, I've just been for a Beethoven".
Word or phrase: Schoenburg
Definition: n. Of the posh and cultured, to perform a twelve stepper, each blast of which is of a different pitch. e.g. Sir Simon Rattle to his Missus "You being able to fart the Eastenders Theme is nothing Dear, listen to this, it's a Schoenberg."
Word or phrase: Wagner
Definition: n. prop. Of the posh and cultured, a 48 hour epic bout of diorreah which is invariby loud and thunderous. Long periods of bordom are intersperced by painfully memorable moments. e.g. Sir Simon Rattle to his missus "Darling would you be so good as to clear my diary and nip up to Sainsburys for a 24 pack of Charmin. I had a curry last night and now I fear I am on the brink of a Wagner."
Word or phrase: Strawberry Sunday
Definition: v. To be so desparate for a shag by the weekend, that you no longer care that rag week is not quite over.
Word or phrase: Hole of Horcome
Definition: sim. An orafice of such copatious proportions that it has it's own car park and tourists viewing point.
Word or phrase: Henrietta Street, fanny like
Definition: Sim. An elderly and twisted vagina which smells of kipper smokehouse, a Fortunes Fanny. (named after Henrietta Street in Whitby)