(Untitled)

[alvanista]

I was amazed to find out there wasn't one yet! Therefore, I bring you...
THE MELANCHOLY OF SUZUMIYA HARUHI KINK MEME!
How does it work:
You ANONYMOUSLY make a comment containing a pairing and a kink. Any pairing, any kink - everything is welcome!
If you want to fulfill a request, you respond to the comment anonymouslyIf you request something,

Comments

[anonymous]

Itsuki/Haruhi, very angst, sublined and symbols etc.

[anonymous]

It's been over a year since I last saw this series, so I must apologize for two things - quality AND length. TAT//

--

1. Lord Jesus Christ, take all my freedom, my memory, my understanding, and my will.

"Forget your old assignment." They tell him. "It will be as if it never existed. You are now to track this... Haruhi Suzumiya's existence. Do not let anything she does escape your view."

Everyone has heard about this girl and her powers, and it was quite the topic - who would be sent out to track her?

Itsuki let a small, but real(istic) smile slip onto his face.

2. All that I have and cherish Thou hast given me. I surrender it all to be guided by Thy will.

He watches, and he waits. Itsuki is a patient man - he always has been - but the way she bullshits around with Kyon annoys him. The way she looks right through him annoys him. He is right there, he always has been, but she is always looking at him.

He cannot do much more than watch and wait, so he must deal with that.

3. Thy grace and Thy love are wealth enough for me.Late

[anonymous]

Oooh, I like. *not OP*

He comes with a whispered "God,"

So reverent...and not...at the same time.

[anonymous]

Oh my. That was lovely. I have a soft spot for Itsuki/Haruhi angst and you nailed it perfectly. Nice fic. ♥

[anonymous]

Yuki/Kyon; cybersex.

[anonymous]

Kyon had had enough of Haruhi today; he couldn't believe that anybody could be so obnoxious. After blackmailing the computer society president (in a way that brought Kyon to tears thinking about how lucky the man was), she was now forcing him to design a website for the SOS Brigade. He didn't even know how to design websites, for goodness sake's. Sighing, he switched on the newly-snatched computer Haruhi had acquired from the computer society. After waiting for the machine to turn on, he was going to open the internet browser when a message popped up on the screen.

Y.NAGATO>>A/S/L?Kyon blinked a couple of times to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him. It couldn't have been... perhaps Yuki had told a relative about him?! An older (and maybe more bustier) cousin, maybe a Yui or Yukari?! His inner monologuing on the possibility of this hopefully less stoic family member took his attention away from the screen, where the messages kept on going. When he finally remembered what had caused this fantasizing in the first place,

[christinaathena]

*laughs* That one's awesome!

[anonymous]

Anonymous exists to deliver.

[anonymous]

Itsuki/Kyon, sad!Itsuki looking for comfort. No porn, just something sweet.

[anonymous]

...Something actually worksafe to write? Might have a go at it. |3

part I

[anonymous]

Not like he would expect himself to make mistakes: but oh, of course, he's just human (he ignores the mocking voice almost suggesting him that sentence may be only partially true). One day or another he would be compelled to commit one: and it might have been that this plan, thoroughly contrived like the tens of others before it, had a flaw he elegantly omitted. A suspicious expression of dissatisfaction that she seemed to have for a split second, something like a while of hesitation before giving an order she'd usually shout in a single breath - minuscule, minuscule things, or so someone normal (he wishes he didn't notice the irony in this word) would have surmised.

"Suzumiya might end up being disappointed with me."

It's a sentence sounding innocent and euphemistic enough: it sounds so vague, yet at least it's the closest thing to doubt he can permit himself before anyone, or him at least - and oh, how nicely it hides his anxiety. So he repeats it, but somehow not as firmly

part II

[anonymous]

Somehow, despite all that he's absurdly happy with the fact their fingers touch, finally, barely; he relishes something so trivial (trivial for an, ahem, normal person, at least). Until he feels that hand slipping from beneath his own, landing on his shoulder and pulling him closer, close - then a little bit more to turn into something like an immensely awkward embrace.

And this is the first moment since all that started when Itsuki has the slightly unsettling his own forced elocution fails him completely.

"It's quite embarassing, isn't it..." he states quietly, feeling still compelled to pretend that this is to him now a matter of utmost concern, at the same time pressing his head closer to Kyon's chest in a possibly amusing contradiction of his own words.

"Hopefully you're aware that you're stating the obvious." - Itsuki barely hears that, busy being bewildered with the fact that the boy doesn't push him away, which is far more absorbing that anything any of them could say at this point

[anonymous]

Haruhi/Kyon/Mikuru
Consentual, cosplay, bondage.

The Civil Disobedience Of Haruhi Suzumiya (1/3)

[anonymous]

(Yuki also wanted to play. Hope you don't mind!)

Haruhi called her club to order. "Fellow SOS Brigade members!" she said. "Though I just founded our brigade, it already faces a threat to its very existence! The situation is extremely serious!!"

Kyon rolled his eyes. "...said the insane person in the bunny-girl costume."

"As I was saying..." Haruhi growled. "The student council is reassigning some of these club rooms. The SOS Brigade might soon be asked to surrender its hard-won HQ. We must prepare for this eventuality!"

"By packing our things and cleaning the room?" Mikuru (also wearing her bunny-girl costume) asked timidly.

"By dissolving this asinine club now, and getting on with our lives?" Kyon asked.

"?" said Yuki, briefly looking up from her book.

"No, no, and no!" Haruhi said. "Two words: Civil disobedience!!" She picked up a large heavy box, and emptied it on the table with a loud metallic clatter.

Kyon sweat-dropped. "Three words: What the heck!?... You could have got the chains, the padlocks and the

The Civil Disobedience Of Haruhi Suzumiya (2/3)

[anonymous]

Haruhi glanced over her shoulder, and then began to walk backwards, dragging Mikuru after her. "Hang on, Mikuru. Kyon, grab two more chains and three more padlocks, and follow us to that exposed cold-water pipe...

"OK, Mikuru, I'm gonna lean back against the pipe and slide down to the floor. Try to sit in my lap... Yeah, that's good. Wrap your legs around my waist. Kyon, chain my bicycle lock to the pipe with one chain and padlock... Good. Now, thread the other chain behind the pipe at the floor, and loop and lock its two ends around Mikuru's ankles...

"And that's it!" Haruhi wriggled to and fro, testing the chains, and rattling them loudly. Mikuru swung around in her lap, and giggled innocently, like a child on a playground swing.

"Oh, wow!" Haruhi said. "This worked out perfectly! I can hardly move! And poor little Mikuru can't move at all! What do you think, Kyon?"

"I'm watching two bunny-girls who seem to be happy to be completely chained together," Kyon said in disbelief. "What do you think I'm thinking!?"

The Civil Disobedience Of Haruhi Suzumiya (3/3)

[anonymous]

And then, they both suddenly froze, opened their eyes, and slowly turned to Yuki, who was now kneeling on the floor next to them and silently staring at them.

"...oh, hi, Yuki," said Haruhi, a bit nervously. "Um, did you want to play- I mean, practice protesting with us?"

Yuki nodded solemnly.

"Well, that'd be great, but..." Haruhi craned her neck. "There's only one extra short chain and padlock. If I had known you'd be interested, I would have got more- Yuki?"

Yuki quickly fetched the last remaining chain and padlock, along with a few books, and then she kneeled behind Mikuru. Haruhi suddenly felt her handcuffs open. "Wha- how did you do that!?" an astounded Haruhi asked.

Yuki didn't stop to answer. She also unlocked the vertical chain from Mikuru's neck bicycle lock. Then she sat back-to-back against Mikuru, looped the last chain around her neck, and locked her neck-chain to Mikuru's bicycle lock with the last padlock.

And then, Yuki pulled Mikuru's vertical chain back up over herself and locked it to her neck-chain,

[anonymous]

Kyon/Ryouko, knifeplay (e.g., cutting clothes off)

[anonymous]

I totally want to respond to this but...what is the rating limit here? I don't want write something rated R (or higher, XD) when people are only expecting PG.

[anonymous]

I'm fairly sure that since this is a "kink meme", anything including NC-17 would be expected.

[anonymous]

Every week I look back here to see you've written it yet.

;-;