The Patience of Kings - Gag Reel
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: SG-1, I'm just playing in the world. I mean no offense to the cast and crew of the show. This is just how much I love them for all the entertainment they've given me.
Previously: Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Epilogue
The Patience of Kings - Gag Reel
Outside O'Reardon's Pub, Washington D.C., September 1993
"Cam, he's a good man-" she began only to stop at his barking laughter. Ugly laughter she had never heard from him before.
"Jonas Hanson is a douchebag!" he said manically. "A controlling, manipulative egomaniac." He gritted his teeth and looked away. She knew it was because her anger must be showing plainly on her face. She was livid. When he looked back at her he'd set his features as stone. "He's the worst officer I've ever had the misfortune to fly with." She slapped him across the face. He blinked several times, then turned back to her. "And you're worth a hundred of him." he said shakily in a broken voice. He shook his head. "A thousand." He turned away and began walking and she nearly collapsed. Her hand was throbbing and as she watched him striding away she couldn't help wondering why she'd done it. Or why the sight of his retreating back filled her with so much dread.
"Cut! That was great!" cried the director as Amanda mugged a huge cringe into the camera and dashed off up the street towards her co-star who was clutching at his cheek and crying out in pain.
"Gah! Oooow ow ow ow."
"I'm so sorry, Ben!" she said as she put her hands on either side of his head to turn it and get a look at the reddening mark on his cheek.
"I just wanna know if it's still Tuesday, 'cause it was Tuesday before Amanda's Armour Piercing Slap." he called out to no one in particular as a wave of laughter went around the set.
"Let's get an icepack for Ben." said the chuckling director.
"You are such a pro." Amanda burbled in praise of him staying in the scene after her miscue.
Abandoned airfield near Colorado Springs, September 2010
They walked in to the control room at the base of the tower to see Tergali growling in frustration at one of his men.
"Find Ger'to already! He should have been back ages ago. He was right behind us." He waved away the man, who dashed off, and turned to face Sam. "Ah, Dr. Carter. I don't believe I've mentioned it yet, that is a lovely dress." He leered and she grimaced.
"Yes, it was. You owe me a new one." She turned to look over at Tanis. "We were having a wonderful evening until you guys showed up, and believe me, the night wasn't over for me." She glared at Tergali and he laughed.
"Very good, Dr. Carter. I like your spirit. The spirit of the Tau'ri!" he declared as he sat down by a console with a large screen over it and waved his hand vaguely out in front of him. "Not like the rest of the people out there in the galaxy. Broken and frightened after centuries of enslavement at the hands of whoever held the biggest stick at the time." He leaned back and looked her up and down. "So tell me, how do you know me?" Sam shrugged.
"I see a lot of files crossing my desk." she replied indifferently. "I'm just a scientist, but all information could be vital when solving problems." He laughed.
"You're not just a scientist, Dr. Carter." He glanced over at a tech who wandered up and handed him a note. He nodded and the man walked off. "You're the scientist. Very valuable to my employer." He looked at her again. "And it wasn't that long ago you were a Colonel in your Air Force, no? I had to duck very quickly when you were shooting at my SUV." Sam shrugged again. "Well, I'll find out eventually. In the meantime my employer wants a word with you." He waved at the tech and the large screen behind him lit up to reveal a distinguished looking man sitting back in an elaborate throne with his fingers steepled in front of him, the fine silk sleeves of his bronze and russet tunic rustling softly every time he would shift when he smirked at the screen, which was often.
"Ah, Colonel Carter, at last. You have been quite hard to find of late." came the accented tones of Ba'al, seemingly not as dead as everyone had hoped. Sam stood there gaping for a long moment before recovering admirably.
"Ba'al... Somehow I feel as if I should have expected this." She looked around the room as if expecting him to leap out from around a corner. "Except you're supposed to be very dead." she growled in frustration.
"My dear Colonel Carter, the state of death is a binary condition, it cannot be modified with an emphatic adjective such as 'very'. One can only be dead or not dead, and as you can see," the Goa'uld System Lord waved a hand before him to indicate his existence, "I am very much alive." Sam twisted her wrists in their bindings and looked away with a rueful smirk. She only looked back after taking a deep breath and composing herself. She found Ba'al waiting patiently with a very self satisfied smile on his face.
"Just Doctor will do, I retired." She said, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of commenting on what he said, she sighed at the look of surprise Ba'al displayed. "Maybe I should send out a galactic press release." She smirked again and decided she may as well go all out and channel Jack. "So how've you been? How does an undead System Lord spend his days?" She nearly burst out into laughter. "Cam and Daniel were right. I do need a Zombie Apocalypse Survival Plan." Ba'al regarded her with a raised eyebrow before brushing her comments aside with a wave of his hand and a non-committal grunt..
"I understand from the burst communique I received that Colonel Mitchell was killed during the-" Ba'al was cut off by the low growl of frustration Sam was spitting his way.
"He isn't dead! I keep having to repeat myself with these people." she said fiercely. Ba'al blinked and his gaze shifted slightly. Tergali's stance wavered slightly.
"He is dead, my Lord, the Jaffa, Ger'to, killed him." He glanced at Sam in irritation and then at one of his subordinates off to the side. "He just hasn't returned so we can't have him explain to the good Doctor just how dead he is."
"And now you are speaking of degrees. He is either dead or not, Tergali. Find out." Ba'al said in what seemed to be calm and neutral tones, the mercenary flinched as if struck, but bowed his head in acquiescence. Sam just shook her head while Ba'al shifted his gaze back to her "Perhaps you could enlighten us as to why you are so sure Colonel Mitchell is still among the living, Dr. Carter."
"Not likely. Figure out your own intel problems, Ba'al." she replied staunchly. The Goa'uld merely frowned. "Now how about you tell me just what you are doing, with what at first blush seem to be Lucian Alliance mercenaries, here on Earth, and why you've had me driven off the road and dragged here against my will." She lifted her bound wrists and waved them in front of her.
"Why the same thing I'm always doing, Colonel Carter. Taking over the galaxy." Ba'al replied. Amanda couldn't suppress the laughter any longer as he paraphrased a catchphrase from a cartoon mouse with an oversized head. With her laughter everyone on set finally broke down and after a few moments she spotted Ben as he sauntered over towards her with Cliff in tow from wherever he had been doing the video from. Everyone started cheering and clapping at the success of their impromptu little improvised scene. She accepted a hug from him as best she could with bound hands then raised them up over her head as everyone began clapping again.
"All Hail Cliff Simon!" she cried and everyone cheered. Cliff laughed and shook his head, raising his own arms up above his head.
"All Hail Amanda Tapping!" he cried to even bigger cheers.