Ripple Effect - Confluence of Circumstance - Chapter 5
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate: SG-1, I am only playing in the world
A/N: Here is another side story / companion piece to my series of SG-1 tales. This one will be different to the others in that I plan to keep adding to it little by little. It may spur me to add on to the other Ripple Effects later on.
Previously: Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4
Ripple Effect - Confluence of Circumstance - Chapter 5
43km east of Flagstaff, Arizona, January 2006 (alternate reality)
She'd sustained her lecture mode for most of the two days they'd prepared for the trip and the day they'd driven down from Colorado Springs to Winslow. Before they set off she had made a few emotionally charged telephone calls telling Mark and then Cassie she was alive and would be visiting and her anxiety made itself known as a need to educate him on the finer points of impact crater formation. He'd discussed with her how he'd been dabbling in astronomy for a while, the reasons for which he did not disclose, but which he was fairly sure she could guess at. She didn't mention it, but did talk with him freely about stargazing and telescopes in general. He was happy about that.
They'd made their way to Barringer Crater, as she insisted on calling it, first thing after checking out of their hotel in Winslow and climbing back into his Mustang. He hadn't been quite prepared for his own reaction to what was essentially a huge hole in the ground, but he couldn't deny it either. The vast desolate landscape only reinforced the otherworldliness of the place. Sam had stood in silence beside him on the lower observation deck as they gazed out over the craggy slopes leading to the center of the crater. She'd just smiled at him when he asked what happened to her lecture mode. Now she sat quietly in the passenger seat of his Mustang, as they headed west along the I-40 towards Flagstaff, with her hands nestled in her lap and her head turned to gaze out the window at the vast desert scrubland stretching away to the north until the foothills of the Rockies rose up in the distance. He turned down the volume on the radio, which was playing music from his MP3 player via an FM adapter, and she glanced over at his movement and actions with curiosity.
"Is something wrong, Sam?" he asked only for her to smile and shake her head.
"No. Far from it." she said softly. "This is the first time in a long while that I've felt safe, that I've felt as if I was able to relax knowing tomorrow wasn't going to bring about the end of all I know." She gazed back out the window. "I don't feel as if I deserve it." she breathed. Cam frowned and reached out to brush his fingers against the hair draped over the side of her neck. She turned to look at him again.
"Don't say stuff like that." he ordered seriously. She looked down at her hands for a long moment.
"But why do I get-"
"I don't care, Sam." he said, interrupting her. "I don't care why, or how, or anything like that. We take life one day, one moment, one choice at a time and we deal with it." He looked at her for a second before returning his gaze to the road. "You're here now, you're alive, you move forward one step at a time. Same as me." He was quiet for a while before her silence prompted him to say a little more. "You said you need my help to get through this, well, I need your help. I can't do this without you either. Not anymore." He felt rather than saw her reach out and put her hand on his arm. He let her pull his hand off the wheel and take it in both of hers as she held it in her lap. He glanced over to her and saw her nodding to herself. "Are you with me, Sam?"
"Yes, Cameron. Every step of the way." she breathed in reply and squeezed his hand gently. He nodded and let her knead his fingers in her hands while she looked out the window in silence. The contact between them let him know she was alright.
Mark Carter's house, San Diego, California, January 2006 (alternate reality)
The following morning she was stepping out of Cameron's Mustang in front of her brother's house in Muirlands. She had to think of him as her brother, that was the only way this would work. She saw him yanking the front door open and rushing down the front path towards them and she steeled herself to spill out a stream of lies to the only family she could claim in two realities.
They'd agreed on a cover story with the Generals. At the height of the outbreak, she'd contracted the illness while off base and in a fever-induced delirium ended up halfway across the state with no ID of any kind, where she'd finally succumbed to the virus and was hospitalised as a Jane Doe due to a case of retrograde amnesia she'd developed as a result of the illness. The person who'd passed away, whom they'd thought was Samantha Carter due to being discovered in the physical proximity of her home, had not yet been identified and due to the cremation of the remains, undertaken as a precautionary measure because of the outbreak, was unlikely to ever be identified. It was an ugly pack of lies, but necessary. The remains of this reality's Samantha Carter would be re-interred somewhere secret, with all due honours and respect. Her friends who retained clearance would of course be informed of the new location. Sam was planning a visit.
"Sam! Oh God, Sam!" Mark cried as he crushed her in his embrace, she found herself clutching at the back of his sweater and turning her head to look at Cameron as he walked around the front of the Mustang. She flicked her gaze to her sister-in-law, Julia, running towards her as well. Her niece and nephew were at school and she wouldn't see them until the afternoon. Cam stood silently off to the side while Sam dealt with her relatives and managed to get them to head back inside for a full accounting of her 'amnesiac sojourn' and how her memories had returned after seeing Cam in some old news footage of the military response to the outbreak. She still claimed shakiness in her recall, something which might help them if she 'misremembered' details in future.
Julia spent quite a while crying disbelieving tears. Mark wavered from happiness at her being well, incredulity at the events, anger at the 'mistake' and hope for the future, one after another and looping back around. Sam tried her best to answer what questions she could with some modicum of honesty, but that was precious little. Cameron tried his best to make himself useful. He'd only really met Mark and his family at Sam's funeral, but as she had spoken of him often over the years they considered him almost as family. He took care to bring them coffee or tea after taking instructions from a grateful Julia, or fetching them food as they talked. Each time he came back in the room Sam found her gaze drawn to him and she smiled sadly when he nodded to her. As lunchtime rolled around, Julia got up to make them something light for them to eat with Cameron's assistance, while Sam was left with Mark in the living room.
"I don't know what to do, Sam." he intoned with his fingers tapping away restlessly on the armrest of his chair.
"What do you mean, Mark?" she asked with a little trepidation.
"For two months we thought you were dead. Two months!" He shook his head and closed his eyes to steady himself.
"So had my friends." she whispered and he looked up at her. "It's no one's fault, Mark." He blinked and his shoulders sagged. She'd been right. "There's nothing to do except move forward. One step at a time." She looked away and flashed a small smile as she looked out the windows. "Cameron gave me back the keys to my house. I hope that's okay with you." She chuckled when she turned to look at his wide-eyed gaze as realisation set in.
"Oh God, I'm going to have to transfer all that back to you-"
"We'll figure it out later, Mark. There's no rush. I mean, Cam and I drove because technically dead people can't be sold airline tickets." She laughed at his look which prompted him to laugh as well. "I'm rebuilding. Slowly, but surely. I only need your support and your love." she said earnestly. Mark nodded and shifted forward in his chair so he could reach over and take her hand where she sat on the settee.
"Of course, Sam. No question."
Mark Carter's house, San Diego, California, January 2006 (alternate reality)
Julia had him slicing tomatoes for a salad to go with their roast beef sandwiches. She glanced at him as she tore the leaves off a lettuce under the running water of the sink.
"Sam talked a lot about you the last eighteen months or so. You had a big accident summer before last, right?" she asked. He turned to look at her and nodded.
"Flight testing accident with a new aircraft under cold weather conditions. I was stuck on the snow in Antarctica for a couple of hours after the crash." he replied and Julia winced.
"Antarctica? Our summer is the winter there, right?" she grimaced slightly when he nodded.
"Maybe I should have said 'extreme cold weather conditions'." He smiled, trying to tell her things were okay now. She shook her head.
"And now you work with Sam in Colorado Springs?" she asked, rehashing a conversation they'd not really had the time for when they'd met during Sam's funeral.
"That's right. I'm like a bad penny for Sam. She can't get rid of me for long." he joked and Julia smiled.
"You care a lot about her, don't you?" She nodded when he just looked at her. "I remember the way she talked when she first said she was going to take her old job back and that you'd be there. She was giddy." She chuckled at Cam's lifted eyebrow. "Oh, she'd deny it if you asked, but she was." He shook his head. "She's more than a friend as far as you're concerned. I can tell that too. I remember how you looked at the funeral, Cameron." He blinked and looked up from his tomato slicing. "Don't give up alright? This is a second chance for you as well as for her." He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"It's too soon." he whispered. Julia reached across and patted his hand before taking the chopping board and knife away from him and pushing the chopped tomato into a bowl.
"Just don't let it become too late." she warned. "I saw how she looked at you whenever you left the room and came back. You're the only person she really trusts right now." Cam looked at her sadly. "I don't know what's happened to her the last two months, but you brought her back from the brink. That much I can see."
They ate around the kitchen table while conversation was kept to lighter topics. Sam asked for and was granted some time to herself out on the bench on the back porch. It wasn't long before Julia was motioning for Cam to head out there as well. He resisted for a while, but eventually complied, poking his head out the back door and taking her smile as consent he stepped out and sat down next to her.
"He is just like Mark. And she is the Julia I remember." she whispered to him with her head drifting closer to his. "I have to force myself to think of them as mine though." He nodded and took her hand in his, she squeezed his tightly.
"In some ways, amnesia is the perfect cover." he said with a sigh. She glanced at him reprovingly for a moment. "I know, I know, but it fits how you truly feel as much as how you have to pretend to act. You can't disagree, can you?" She shook her head eventually. "Take your time." he added finally.
They would stay for dinner, mostly to reassure her niece and nephew that she wasn't a ghost. They both tackled her as soon as they got home from school and refused to let go until she promised not to die again. Sam wrapped them both in a fierce embrace for several minutes and he wondered when the last time she'd actually visited her brother had been. Probably many months if her descriptions of her reality were anything to go by. After dinner she begged off staying longer, blaming exhaustion from the long road trip. She said her farewells and Cam drove her to the hotel they were staying in. He glanced her way on the drive over as she slumped in the passenger seat, emotionally drained. After getting her up to her room while she leant heavily on him she asked him to come in and stay with her a while. She laid down on the bed after barely getting her shoes and jacket off and he sat beside her with his back against the headboard.
"Thank you for coming with me, I know the General ordered you to do it as some sort of punishment, but... I would have asked you to come if he hadn't." she said slowly, her eyes closed as she clasped her fingers together over her stomach. Cam reached over and laid his fingers over hers. She opened her eyes to glance up at him as he looked down on her.
"I would have offered to come if you hadn't asked." he replied and she smiled softly with a little nod. "Are you nervous about Cassie? Have you decided what you'll tell her?" Sam sighed deeply before answering.
"The truth. She has clearance after all and I'm lying to enough people in my new life already." she replied and he took one of her hands in his and gave it a squeeze, she held on to his hand as well. "I'll let her decide what she wants from me." Her eyes had closed again so he told her that maybe she should try to get some sleep. She protested, but agreed to at least get changed if he promised to stay.
When she came out of the bathroom in sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt she propped the pillows up against the headboard and sat down against them, patting the space on the bed next to her which he took. She'd taken a quick shower and her hair was still damp, but he didn't mind when she laid her head on his shoulder after taking a hold of his hand and asking to watch a movie. She remembered him describing the few movie nights they'd had as a team before Sam had passed and wanted to get a feel for it. In hopes of perhaps using them as an opportunity to regain Daniel's and Teal'c's trust.
Cam nodded and settled in to watch a film with her, enjoying the familiarity they'd so quickly developed. She fell asleep about half way through, but he waited until the movie finished before tucking her in despite her mewling protests of being fine to watch another one. He waited until she was fast asleep before heading to his own room to stay up a while longer, dulling his senses with the news on TV while his mind raced with thoughts of her.
Las Vegas, Nevada, January 2006 (alternate reality)
They spent the next day with Mark's family, Saturday morning was spent at the breakfast table, with Mark and Julia while Cam kept the kids busy in the backyard. She found herself watching him through the window every so often. The afternoon belonged to Lisa and David as Cam agreed to accompany her with them to see a movie. A simple pleasure that meant the world to her. They made their way to the hotel in the evening to prepare for an early start the next day, in truth it was because she was getting nervous about seeing Cassie.
It was like a repeat of the first day in San Diego. After getting an early start following a long phone conversation with her family, they drove to Nevada and Cassie's rented apartment not far from the UNLV campus. Sam didn't get to the front door before the premed biology major ran out and engulfed her in an embrace no less emotional than Mark's had been despite being performed by Cassie's weaker arms. She afforded Cam an embrace as well once she let go of Sam and then dragged them both inside.
"Oh, Sam, what happened? Where have you been this whole time?" Cassie demanded as Sam looked at Cameron anxiously.
"Cassie, what Sam is about to tell you is going to be shocking. You should sit down. I'll get us some tea." Cam told her, motioning towards the student's couch.
"What are you talking about, Cam?" she asked, turning to look between him and Sam. She directed Cassie to sit down and debated for a moment whether to sit next to her on the couch before deciding against it. She would rather Cassie not feel the need to pull away from her. She pulled up a chair from Cassie's desk and glanced towards the small kitchen where Cam had set some water to boil in the kettle and was coming back to make his presence felt in the living room should the young woman need it. Sitting down across from Cassie she sighed and began with a confession.
"Cassie, I'm not the Sam Carter you know." she admitted. Cassie blinked at her in confusion for several moments before glancing at Cameron questioningly. "I'm from an alternate reality, very similar to this one up until the arrival of the Ori in the Milky Way four months ago."
"So wait, you're not Sam?" Cassie asked in a slightly strangled tone. At least the young woman's first question hadn't been in regards to their sanity.
"I'm a Sam, just not your Sam." she said gently. Cassie was silent for several moments as she blinked and looked down at the ground.
"So Sam is still dead?" she asked in a low voice. Sam nodded. "Do you expect me to-"
"I don't expect anything, Cassie. I don't even expect you to give me a chance. Just say the word and I'll leave right now." Sam said in a broken voice as she let her head drop when her eyes began to sting. She felt Cameron approaching from behind her and putting a hand on her shoulder for a moment. She looked up gratefully and he moved away to get the tea now that the kettle had boiled. She turned to look at Cassie, who had slumped back on the couch and was regarding her with turbulent eyes. The young woman almost flinched when Cam laid a mug of tea on the small side table next to her. She looked up at him with a question in her eyes.
"It's up to you, Cassie, if you want time, you'll have it, if you want space, we'll go, if you want to punch something then you can use me. I brought her to this reality. And it's all my fault anyway." he said sadly while Sam whipped her head up to stare at him in alarm. Was he talking about more than just her own arrival? "My advice is to at least hear her out before you decide anything." Cassie looked back at Sam for several seconds before nodding slowly.
She listened quietly while Sam told her everything. Describing her own relationship with her own reality's Cassie to show her the similarities, as well as having a few differences pointed out to her. Describing the more recent history of her life as their realities diverged considerably after the Battle of Kallana. Finally answering Cassie's question about the fate of her Cassandra.
"She's gone." Sam explained. "Most metropolitan areas were bombarded from orbit not long after the Ori ships came. Cassie had been evacuated to Area 51 as soon as we saw them coming, but they destroyed it too." Cassie looked down as the tears started rolling down her cheeks. "I'm not looking to replace your Sam, and I don't want you to feel you have to replace my Cassie." she whispered, echoing the words Cameron had said to her in the alternate reality. "I promise though, if you ever need me, if you call for me, I will come." Cassie stood up, running a hand through her long hair as she looked between Sam and Cameron. Sam stood up more slowly while Cam still leant against the doorway leading to the kitchen. The student looked at Sam for several seconds before turning away and wringing her hands.
"Will you come with me to see Mom in a few...?" she asked in a strained whisper, referring to the anniversary of Dr. Janet Fraiser's death and their usual visit to her grave. Sam's heart leapt into her mouth as she began nodding immediately. Cassie turned to see that and rushed over to hug Sam again. She held the young woman tightly as they both began to cry and Cam came over to run his fingers over her hair and across her cheek. She reached out her hand and it fell against his shoulder to clutch at the fabric of his shirt. He laid his hand over the top of hers and she grasped at it, holding it tightly.
After taking Cassie out for a late lunch and spending another two hours talking, they said their farewells and departed in hopes of making it to Cedar City by nightfall. Sam sat quietly beside Cameron in his Mustang, listening to the music from his MP3 player or to him talking about nothing in particular. She smiled softly whenever he spoke, the sound of his voice soothed her, washing away the nervous anxiety she'd been feeling for a long time now. She watched him carefully as he drove and listened to his tunes. He wasn't the Cameron she knew, even taking into account the different reality and the arrival of the Ori. He was touched by a deep sadness. The reason was obvious of course. Another thing the visit to the alternate reality had taught her was that for most of the Carters and Mitchells, their feelings for each other were decidedly mutual. It brought her a little pain to think of the time she'd wasted with her own Cameron, now she knew he'd probably returned her feelings already.
So she looked at Cam and knew for a fact that he had loved his Sam. Loved her and lost her. Not as she had lost her Cameron, in a flash in the night sky, only to find him again, or at least someone as close to him as wasn't worth worrying about, almost immediately, before she'd even had a chance to process it. He had watched his Sam die, slowly and in pain. He'd held her hand in her final moments and done his all to comfort her and ease her passing, only to be left behind with the knowledge of his wasted chance and time enough for his own thoughts to consume him.
"She knew." she whispered. Cam turned to look at her with a confused look. "In the end, I'm sure she knew you loved her, Cameron. I'm sure she knew." she said as her lower lip trembled and her eyes welled up. Cam gulped hard and blinked back the tears suddenly stinging at his eyes and was forced to pull over to the side of the road. He leaned forward against the steering wheel as his shoulders shuddered while he cried silently and Sam unbuckled her seatbelt to lean across to pull him towards her. "And if she was anything like me, she loved you too."
On to Chapter 6