(no subject)
Your Name/Alias: Elizabeth L./hadisia
Age: 19
Character: Dan Hiri Weller
Series: Kyou Kara Maou!
Character Age: Never given; appears in his mid-forties
Job: Field and Wild Life Instructor
Canon:
Kyou Kara Maou!, better known as "that there canon with the sand pandas and the boys marrying other boys," is a show about Shibuya Yuuri's fateful trip down the girls' loo and the consequences of said flushing - namely, being named king of the demons (or maou of the mazoku), getting engaged to a prince with a hair-trigger temper and an affinity for fire, and going on wacky, zany, funtime adventures.
Dan Hiri was a human who had an adorable son (Conrad), a nice castle (Blood Pledge Castle), and a smokin' hot wife (Cheri): he threw it all away to travel the world in order to leave "proof that he had lived." This proof ended up being a forever pissed-off stepson (Gwendal). The ex-Sir Weller was an adventurer, a seeker, a true Man's Man: even as an old man, he could live in the wild for years, lead a village into battle, and still smile wholeheartedly at the end of the day. He caught large fish with his hands and never gave up trying to start a cooking fire. In short, he truly was the Chuck Norris of Shin Makoku.
Note: Dan Hiri did, in fact, die when Gwendal was a teenager, therefore adding to his angst. Wellers also have a family history of losing an arm - luckily enough, Dan Hiri missed that trait.
Sample Post:
"Dear Sir Weller (the dead one with both his arms),
You may not be Chuck Norris, but you'll have to do. Please follow the hip-thrusting zombies to your mildly-decayed horse; she'll know the way. Hint: open your mouth, close your eyes, hold on tight, and off she flies!
Your New King and Country,
Camp Fuck You Die."
Well! Not quite the auspicious greeting I was hoping for, but a letter was more than I was really expecting, at any rate! I hear you've got a village in need of some help here - thieves, murderers, stone-throwers, crops not growing right...I may not be able to help with everything, unfortunately, but the one thing I can teach you fine, differently-animated youngsters is how to survive in the wild! Looks like you've got the "shelter" aspect all squared away - very nice houses! You see a lot of log cabins in the western parts of Shin Makoku and in some of the human lands, but none of them are as large or nicely built as the ones here! Especially that fuzzy one - that's quite the insulation you've got on it!
Some of you are just a good pat on the back away from losing a limb or two - I'm not a doctor, I'm just a swordsman, so I'm not much help unless you need help with a sling! I have a few extras with me, but I think it'd be a better learning experience if we all learn to make some out of large leaves and small animal skins together. And there's not much I can really recommend for that skin condition you all seem to have, except to hang in there and wait it out! Don't worry, adolescence doesn't last forever! It's only about twenty-five years if you're a mazoku - and even shorter if you're a human!
You'll certainly never go hungry, I can tell you that - you have a good selection of game here! Nice, big gorillas, fairly meaty birds - I'm sure those bills would make for great jewelry, boys and girls! - and plenty of vegetation for all you vegetarians in the village! Some of you kids seem to have lost all your teeth already - a common mistake, fishing with your teeth! - so I'll show you how to grind your kill up into a good, gum-friendly paste! For those of you with both arms, we'll be fishing later, so I suggest wearing something short-sleeved!
Aha, here comes a gorilla now! Don't worry about trying to make a weapon - those are for defense, not hunting! Remember, kids: duck behind the bushes, keep still - and when he approaches, tackle low! Very low.
And the voting post.