Who's afraid of Mr. Big?
So I received this text from a friend today, and it was in Portuguese, but I thought the wisdom should be shared. I'm loosely translating it for your reading pleasure.
Who's afraid of Mr. Big?
Yes, him. The Mr. Big we're all, with no exceptions, doomed to find sooner or later.
I find it highly improbable that someone not know the original Mr. Big, who haunts Carrie in Sex and the City. But even if you have no idea who he is, I can summarize him: Mr. Big is, definitively, the wrong guy. In reality, he is the wrong guy to be happy with forever, but the right guy to be very happy with for a few moments.
If you're a guy or one of those intellectually superior people who can't stand sitcoms, I'll tell you what you need to know to continue reading this. Despite being the wrong guy, Mr. Big is not the obviously wrong guy. He's the incredibly sexy, exceptionally charming, super interesting being, who is not here nor there, doesn't make up his mind. The one who fills you with hope and disappears. Mysterious, he never lets you know what he really thinks about you (because he prefers to see you enchanted by him, or to be blunt, wants to keep you as an open option).
He's not jealous. He even prefers it if you're taken. He never attacks. Never. He waits until you take the initiative. And he can make even the most timid of girls throw themselves at him.
He never makes declarations. If he was famous, he'd be one of those "we're just getting to know each other" types. He leaves you guessing about whether he's hitting on you or not, whether he's interested or not. Always subtle. However, he's always around, marking his territory.
The guy who is Mr. Big always makes you feel like the only one (which is never the case), makes you feel different, in the clouds, light and high. Mr. Big that guy whose name, when it appears on your cell phone, makes it seem like the vibrations are inside your heart. He's that guy who, even when he's brought another girl to a party, finds a way to tiptoe around and wink at you in a way that melts all the ice and crumbles all the walls it's taken you years to build around your heart. Mr. Big is the greenhouse effect to your icecaps.
Mr. Big is that guy that becomes a an acronym or a nickname among your friends, because you don't want the world to know about him. He's always enigmatic, almost mute, he just looks at you. He doesn't feed expectations about anything more serious, and because of that, every time he calls, shows up, or messages you on MSN or anywhere else, it makes you accept having him like this, a little at a time. E thus, he holds all the cards in the game because what you have with Mr. Big will never be a relationship. It's an unresolved affair. Forever.
Mr. Big doesn't belong to anyone and is of everyone, but is normally alone, because that's how he likes to be seen. Even when accompanied, he has an air of self-sufficience, independance. And he's serious. In fact, being serious, in a very sexy way, is another marking characteristic of this type of man.
Whenever you tell a friend you talked to him - utterly happy and fulfilled -, you get scolded and, at the very least, an "I cannot believe you spoke to that idiot again".
Even with the scolding, and even knowing that your friend is right, we each understand our Mr. Big, and might even defend him. We're even a little happy that way. With this inconsistency. With the emotional roller coaster, both sides of the same coin, with everything and nothing within the same person, with this love of only expectations. Insane and saintly, we're all like that. And we keep being enchanted, and falling in love and deluding ourselves and getting hurt. Cyclical, as is life. We enjoy the uncertain security that Mr. Big provides.
If Mr. Big hasn't showed up in your life yet, believe me, one day he will. He comes in and knocks you down just like a strong flu. You'll know who your Mr. Big is the first time your eyes cross. If you already know who is (or was) yours, know that that's all he was. Af if being a Mr. Big in someone's life could "just" be anything. You can say: "Wow, I had a Mr. Big and I've survived". I think they should make T-Shirts like that.
If we all knew how fit all the Mr. Big that show up in our lives in that category, the world would be a more peaceful place, and psychologists would be way poorer. Years of therapy would be summarized in the phrase: you've found your Mr. Big. It would be a heavy, incurable diagnosis, but knowing what it means, it would be easier to deal with.
Passed the initial Big euphoria, I believe it's possible to keep Mr. Big in a little corner of your soul (because he becomes embedded in your soul) and move on with your life, as if he never existed, even if it's comforting knowing he did.
Since Mr. Big doesn't take part in relationships, he never discusses it. There is no routine, and without it, no cumplicity, no intimacy, no surrender. With Mr. Big, there can never be love. Which, at times, can be a positive thing.
ATTENTION: SPOILERS FOR MOVIE SEX AND THE CITY 1
In the movie, just because it was a movie, they married Mr. Big. I mean, he runs away, but then ends up getting married, papers signed and everything. But that was only possible because the series was over and we wouldn't have to follow the day-to-day life of this marriage. He'd have to get a name, and lose the charm and stop being who he really is.
So to the big question I answer: I don't know any Mrs. Big. And that's what I'm afraid of.
Who's afraid of Mr. Big?
Yes, him. The Mr. Big we're all, with no exceptions, doomed to find sooner or later.
I find it highly improbable that someone not know the original Mr. Big, who haunts Carrie in Sex and the City. But even if you have no idea who he is, I can summarize him: Mr. Big is, definitively, the wrong guy. In reality, he is the wrong guy to be happy with forever, but the right guy to be very happy with for a few moments.
If you're a guy or one of those intellectually superior people who can't stand sitcoms, I'll tell you what you need to know to continue reading this. Despite being the wrong guy, Mr. Big is not the obviously wrong guy. He's the incredibly sexy, exceptionally charming, super interesting being, who is not here nor there, doesn't make up his mind. The one who fills you with hope and disappears. Mysterious, he never lets you know what he really thinks about you (because he prefers to see you enchanted by him, or to be blunt, wants to keep you as an open option).
He's not jealous. He even prefers it if you're taken. He never attacks. Never. He waits until you take the initiative. And he can make even the most timid of girls throw themselves at him.
He never makes declarations. If he was famous, he'd be one of those "we're just getting to know each other" types. He leaves you guessing about whether he's hitting on you or not, whether he's interested or not. Always subtle. However, he's always around, marking his territory.
The guy who is Mr. Big always makes you feel like the only one (which is never the case), makes you feel different, in the clouds, light and high. Mr. Big that guy whose name, when it appears on your cell phone, makes it seem like the vibrations are inside your heart. He's that guy who, even when he's brought another girl to a party, finds a way to tiptoe around and wink at you in a way that melts all the ice and crumbles all the walls it's taken you years to build around your heart. Mr. Big is the greenhouse effect to your icecaps.
Mr. Big is that guy that becomes a an acronym or a nickname among your friends, because you don't want the world to know about him. He's always enigmatic, almost mute, he just looks at you. He doesn't feed expectations about anything more serious, and because of that, every time he calls, shows up, or messages you on MSN or anywhere else, it makes you accept having him like this, a little at a time. E thus, he holds all the cards in the game because what you have with Mr. Big will never be a relationship. It's an unresolved affair. Forever.
Mr. Big doesn't belong to anyone and is of everyone, but is normally alone, because that's how he likes to be seen. Even when accompanied, he has an air of self-sufficience, independance. And he's serious. In fact, being serious, in a very sexy way, is another marking characteristic of this type of man.
Whenever you tell a friend you talked to him - utterly happy and fulfilled -, you get scolded and, at the very least, an "I cannot believe you spoke to that idiot again".
Even with the scolding, and even knowing that your friend is right, we each understand our Mr. Big, and might even defend him. We're even a little happy that way. With this inconsistency. With the emotional roller coaster, both sides of the same coin, with everything and nothing within the same person, with this love of only expectations. Insane and saintly, we're all like that. And we keep being enchanted, and falling in love and deluding ourselves and getting hurt. Cyclical, as is life. We enjoy the uncertain security that Mr. Big provides.
If Mr. Big hasn't showed up in your life yet, believe me, one day he will. He comes in and knocks you down just like a strong flu. You'll know who your Mr. Big is the first time your eyes cross. If you already know who is (or was) yours, know that that's all he was. Af if being a Mr. Big in someone's life could "just" be anything. You can say: "Wow, I had a Mr. Big and I've survived". I think they should make T-Shirts like that.
If we all knew how fit all the Mr. Big that show up in our lives in that category, the world would be a more peaceful place, and psychologists would be way poorer. Years of therapy would be summarized in the phrase: you've found your Mr. Big. It would be a heavy, incurable diagnosis, but knowing what it means, it would be easier to deal with.
Passed the initial Big euphoria, I believe it's possible to keep Mr. Big in a little corner of your soul (because he becomes embedded in your soul) and move on with your life, as if he never existed, even if it's comforting knowing he did.
Since Mr. Big doesn't take part in relationships, he never discusses it. There is no routine, and without it, no cumplicity, no intimacy, no surrender. With Mr. Big, there can never be love. Which, at times, can be a positive thing.
ATTENTION: SPOILERS FOR MOVIE SEX AND THE CITY 1
In the movie, just because it was a movie, they married Mr. Big. I mean, he runs away, but then ends up getting married, papers signed and everything. But that was only possible because the series was over and we wouldn't have to follow the day-to-day life of this marriage. He'd have to get a name, and lose the charm and stop being who he really is.
So to the big question I answer: I don't know any Mrs. Big. And that's what I'm afraid of.