Why would you get in a committed relationship with someone if you didn't want to commit? You've been wanting/aching for a boyfriend for as long as I've been reading you, and this comes as a surprise.
Obviously I wouldn't have gotten involved if I would've known from the start I didn't want this. It was several things, really... you're right when you say it's all I've been wanting for so long, but I guess sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for. Perhaps I began to panic once it hit me that I had to commit, so I asked to take a step backwards and "see each other" until I realized what I needed. It also had a lot to do with the fact that in the beginning, it seemed perfect, and wonderful, and amazing, but as the "honeymoon phase" and the novelty of it wore off, I started realizing that maybe I needed something different than what he was giving to me. It came as a shock to me, too. I never would've thought I would've had a wonderful boyfriend who adored me, but I would choose being single. I guess it was just the wrong person at the wrong time. But believe me when I say I went into it with good intentions, and I tried.
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