so in the past 72hrs, i found that two of the most amazing people i know are moving...they're leaving me to fend for myself. and guess what? mike doesnt know what to say...for once his damn smiley faces can't help and i just dont know what to do. i've been crying my eyes out and yet no one seems to notice how much this is hurting me. why is life so

FRIDAY:halsey gave me kelly's cheez its (however u wanna spell it) and i was carrying them around for like 2 periods and i got some really weird looks, but it was funny. after school i was supposed to hang out with jen before she moves. but she never called so i spent the night at sam's house. and i hit my head on the wall (i stood on her bed to ( Read more... )

why do all the wrong things seem so right? why has everything in my life suddenly turned upsidedown? why the hell is life like this?!! god i hate myself right now. i'm so fucking sorry...i didnt mean to hurt you.

Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now
Would you tell it to my face
And have a little grace
Are you happy now?

( Read more... )

i'm sick of being the "booty call". why can't i ever be the girlfriend? i'm sorry for all this complaining but i'm sick of keeping all this shit locked up...i'm ready to explode in all my anger!!! i've tried so hard to hide it and not vent on anyone but it doesnt work. i always end up bitching at one person or another. and i'm sick of it!!!!!!!!! ( Read more... )

last night i went to church. i was supposed to hang out with mike but he cancelled because his dad got mad at him for making plans when he says he's gonna be gone all day "tomorrow" meaning today. but when i called him later like he told me to, to see if he wanted to hang out downtown napperville, he wasn't home. what a big fucking surprise...he ( Read more... )

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! last night was amazing! so was friday but i think you all know that TPD is always amazing. ah last night i went to wheaton with nicole, ashley, and jessi. we met up with christina and one of her friends inside the wheaton grand theater. me and jessi were being really a.d.d.-ish and it was kinda funny cuz we picked up some ( Read more... )

TPD rocks my socks and for those of you who do not go to the fat bean tonight to see me working their merch table as the "temp" merch girl...you will get the chance to see them at BATTLE OF THE BANDS next saturday, October 16 and if you dont go to that then screw you. i'm still looking for a homecoming date but i dont really care if i dont get one ( Read more... )

today...ken bray asked me to homecoming...uhm...i didnt know what to say...i was so freakin confused seein that he asked nicole last year and now he's asking me...? hmm what else? oh yes...i met a guy named tom (or so he says)...he thought my name was nicole nedolist or something. i told him no and he still called me nicole...then i was hangin out ( Read more... )

god...i dont think anyone knows what to say about what happened last night. all i can think of is that i'm so sorry and i didnt really know him, but i know he's in a better place. i heard alot about him, and all i heard was that he was an amazing person. i'm so sorry and if anyone needs a "crying shoulder" i'm here...lean on me ( Read more... )

so today i realized that nicole has changed a lot and not for the best. she's so different and i dont know what to say to her to bring the old nicole back to me. she's the best sister i could ask for, but now that she's acting like such a bitch and thinks she's too good for anything i want to do with her, i just feel like i dont know her anymore. i ( Read more... )