Weekly-ish update: Smackdown and Raw
This weekend was bracketed by two shows with some really interesting things going on.
Friday: Smackdown!
Batista is back! To be honest, he's not my favorite anymore, but he was my instantly favorite wrestler when I first became a WWE fan. He will always have a special place in my heart. :)
That said, I loved it when Chris Jericho came out to bitch. Apparently, Jericho is The Face Of Smackdown, so everybody else can please step back in awed wonder. Batista disagrees. Spinebuster to Jericho! and the microphone goes flying. Shortly thereafter, backstage, Jericho has a little chat with Big Show. Jericho states that in his match against Batista later, he's going to show everybody what a REAL superstar can do. Their relationship cracks me up: Jericho is the egotistical, confident rockstar with a chip on his shoulder the size of New York, and Big Show is "whatever, dude, you need to relax." LOL. (Also, side-comment on Jericho's current look: Yay. I'm not a big fan of the trunks; I miss the tights. The suits look GOOD. And LOL at lyssmich's description of his "boy band hair.")
John Morrison vs. Mike Knox: I kind of zoned out here. I love looking at Morrison, really (who doesn't?), but this little feud with Dolph Ziggler just hasn't managed to capture my interest. The "Mister Ziggles" name-calling is amusing, but that's the best they can come up with? Really? Meh. And Mike Knox is brutish but otherwise boring. At any rate, Morrison wins and looks HOT. "Friday Night Delight," indeed.
Melina vs. Michelle McCool: McCool is selling her bad knee pretty hard with a big beefy knee brace and an exaggerated limp. Even if she's a heel now, I still admire her. Melina, however, I could do without. The high-pitched shrieks sound like an over-excited teeny-bopper at a teeny-bopper concert. However, she does have great hair. Melina wins the match.
There have been segments sprinkled throughout the show, regarding the Montreal Screwjob Take 2. At the top of the show, Teddy Long came in with a large contingent of security guys for company. Later, in an interview, the ref who called the match says that he knew what he did was wrong, but he did what he had to do to keep his job. Another segment showed Teddy Long and Vince McMahon having a discussion backstage. Vince asked why Teddy would double cross the Undertaker; Teddy was telegraphing that we should all point the finger at Vince, but Vince kept cutting him off whenever it sounded like Teddy was about to come out and say it. Vince finally demanded that Teddy give everyone an answer in the ring, and that it better be The Right Answer. (I would so very much love to see Undertaker go up against Vince McMahon. Undertaker is made of WIN.) In the ring, accompanied by his large contingent of security guys, Teddy launched into a long speech about how everything was indeed planned to make sure that Undertaker didn't win the championship (no way, really? I never would have guessed!) and that he's not proud of what he did, but he's got a family and he only did what he had to do to keep his job and he's Really Really Very Sorry and hopes that Undertaker can find it in his heart to forgive Teddy Long. No appearance by Undertaker yet. The security guys escort Teddy backstage to his limo; Teddy breathes a sigh of relief and asks the driver to get going... ominous silence from the driver... the divider rolls down... Surprise! Undertaker glares at Teddy over his shoulder and growls, "Buckle up, Teddy." AH HA HA!!! The limo sails away, spilling purple effects lighting and smoke, with poor Teddy locked in the backseat, flailing ineffectually and screaming for help. This kind of crazy shit is why I love WWE. :D
CM Punk is in the ring. (Is it weird that I almost always mis-type it "CM Puck"?) He won like he said he would, so He Told Us So. Also, America is over-medicated and we are all unworthy and "straight-edge means I'm better than you." Oh, well, that's nice to know. Thanks, Punk. (Is it also weird that Punk's big heel campaign strategy seems to be this straight-edge thing? He's anti-alcohol and anti-drug, so he's a bad guy? I can appreciate the heelish-ness of the "I'm better than you" slant, but I think that might be a little too subtle for small children.)
Cryme Tyme vs. the Hart Dynasty: I didn't like Natalya when she first came into the WWE, but now she seems kind of awesome. Cryme Time irritates me (black guys from the hood are "Cryme Tyme"? (a) geez, what great role models, and (b) learn how to spell). Therefore, go Team Hart! (Also, I'm digging the pink-and-black color scheme.) Team Hart wins the match.
Kane vs. Khali: I'm ready for this feud to be done. Kane loses by DQ when he goes after Khali with a chair, and continues the attack until he crushes Khali's leg with the steel steps. Ow. Kane seems pretty pleased with himself over this.
Charlie Haas vs. R-Truth: R-Truth is a no-show. Drew McIntyre strolls in, announces that R-Truth had an "accident" backstage and will not be appearing here, thus Haas wins by forfeit. McIntyre congratulates Haas and then takes him down. Maybe this will go someplace interesting, but not tonight.
Batista vs. Chris Jericho: They seem pretty evenly matched. Go Jericho! No interference from Big Show, per Jericho's earlier request backstage, and Batista finally wins it. Afterward, Big Show says Batista only got lucky; Big Show challenges him to a match next week.
End of show. So far, we seem to have a pretty clear separation between the Punk-Undertaker situation and everything else. I kind of hope it stays that way, because I am totally suckered into seeing how this turns out.
Monday: Raw
Tonight's host: Cedric the Entertainer. Nice.
To start, "Are You Ready?!" *sigh* (teddysbabymama: "DX? Sure, I'm ready! But only because it most likely means it's TEDDY TIME!!!" Agreed! Yes, please!) DX is so cornball and so inappropriate. I have to roll my eyes at DX's "World's Biggest Member" shirts every time I see them. They brag about their Hell-in-a-Cell prowess; they promise us that they are going to END Legacy at the PPV. And now we get the flipside of last week's Dibiase-vs-Michaels match:
Triple-H vs. Cody Rhodes: They go back and forth, Triple-H actually sells an almost-ass-kicking by Cody. Hooray. Then Triple-H gets the upper hand again, Dibiase and Michaels get into a little tiff outside the ring (good-bye announce table, Go Ted!!!), and then Dibiase returns the favor from last week by going after Triple-H with a chair and thus causing Cody to lose the match by DQ. Ted & Cody team up to deliver some whoop-ass on Triple-H until Michaels chases them off with H's sledgehammer.
Evan Bourne vs. The Miz: Evan gets a real match again? Finally! YAY! Some real action to go along with the pretty. Mmm, I am appreciative. Pretty good match, fun to watch, and Miz wins it in the end.
Backstage, Randy Orton graciously tells Ted & Cody that they can have the rest of the night off in return for their hearty efforts against DX. Then Orton goes out to the ring for his Hell-in-a-Cell contract signing with John Cena. Jerry Lawler thoughtfully declares that Cena and Orton are off-limits to each other for this signing, so instead they exchange some heated and vaguely dirty-sounding taunts. (I am doomed. I don't think I'll ever again be able to watch Orton & Cena without the slash factor tinting my view. Thanks, wwegirls, for corrupting me. oth_leyton_love: "oh god. they aren't even touching and it feels like live porn xD seriously." lesson_in_love: "I don't even GET how they have so much sexual tension. It's pretty ridiculous.") Cena cues up a video recap on the big screen of the kinky handcuffed submission match from the last PPV, complete with Orton's grand "I Quit!" moment at the end. Orton is not amused (teddysbabymama: "lol randy's tantrum, kicking the chair."). Cena makes some more thinly-veiled dirty remarks. (They have to be doing this on purpose. This is just overt feeding of the slash devil.) Orton says that he'd love to RKO Cena through the table right now, but since he's not allowed to (and since when do you kowtow to the authority figures, Randy?), he's invited some friends to step in for him. Out come Jericho and Big Show (it makes me happy that we get to see Jericho so often!); Show throws the table out of the ring and it's on. Then MVP and Mark Henry (ugh) come to Cena's rescue. Cedric the Entertainer decides to set up a six-man tag match for later this evening.
Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix: Alicia Fox is ringside to observe, which just reminds me of how irritated I am that she has a title shot. Beth wins the match.
Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger, for the U.S. championship: They fight, and then Miz comes out and grabs the title belt, and Swagger goes after him, knocks him down, and takes the title for himself. The ref ends the match, no winner.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Cedric the Entertainer: OMG. Somebody really hates Chavo. Bullshit ensues with a fake Cedric and Hornswaggle, and then the real Cedric pins Chavo. Well, that sucked. Paul Marshall: "Seriously. F*** this s***."
Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, & Big Show vs. John Cena, MVP, & Mark Henry: Jericho cooked up some extra fun for Orton & Cena: loser has to go through a gauntlet match. Orton seems kind of irritated by this. Match starts: Cena gets into trouble early on, then gets the tag to MVP, who gets in a couple of moves on Jericho for an attempted pin before he gets into trouble himself. Then Henry's in to clean house, but in all the mess Orton hits the RKO on Henry (HA! Yay!) and gets the pin and the win. Cena will have to run the gauntlet next week.
End of show. Lots of crap, but kind of balanced out by pretty Evan, Ted & Cody getting another one over DX, and entertaining tension between Orton & Cena. And Jericho, because really, he's always a good thing.
This was Lilian Garcia's final Raw. I'm going to miss her awesome voice and spiffy outfits.
--
Sources:
Brian Eison's Smackdown Recap (via Pulse Wrestling)
wwegirls: Girls Talk Smack!
Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling's WWE Raw Report
wwegirls: Girls Talk Lilian's Final Raw
Friday: Smackdown!
Batista is back! To be honest, he's not my favorite anymore, but he was my instantly favorite wrestler when I first became a WWE fan. He will always have a special place in my heart. :)
That said, I loved it when Chris Jericho came out to bitch. Apparently, Jericho is The Face Of Smackdown, so everybody else can please step back in awed wonder. Batista disagrees. Spinebuster to Jericho! and the microphone goes flying. Shortly thereafter, backstage, Jericho has a little chat with Big Show. Jericho states that in his match against Batista later, he's going to show everybody what a REAL superstar can do. Their relationship cracks me up: Jericho is the egotistical, confident rockstar with a chip on his shoulder the size of New York, and Big Show is "whatever, dude, you need to relax." LOL. (Also, side-comment on Jericho's current look: Yay. I'm not a big fan of the trunks; I miss the tights. The suits look GOOD. And LOL at lyssmich's description of his "boy band hair.")
John Morrison vs. Mike Knox: I kind of zoned out here. I love looking at Morrison, really (who doesn't?), but this little feud with Dolph Ziggler just hasn't managed to capture my interest. The "Mister Ziggles" name-calling is amusing, but that's the best they can come up with? Really? Meh. And Mike Knox is brutish but otherwise boring. At any rate, Morrison wins and looks HOT. "Friday Night Delight," indeed.
Melina vs. Michelle McCool: McCool is selling her bad knee pretty hard with a big beefy knee brace and an exaggerated limp. Even if she's a heel now, I still admire her. Melina, however, I could do without. The high-pitched shrieks sound like an over-excited teeny-bopper at a teeny-bopper concert. However, she does have great hair. Melina wins the match.
There have been segments sprinkled throughout the show, regarding the Montreal Screwjob Take 2. At the top of the show, Teddy Long came in with a large contingent of security guys for company. Later, in an interview, the ref who called the match says that he knew what he did was wrong, but he did what he had to do to keep his job. Another segment showed Teddy Long and Vince McMahon having a discussion backstage. Vince asked why Teddy would double cross the Undertaker; Teddy was telegraphing that we should all point the finger at Vince, but Vince kept cutting him off whenever it sounded like Teddy was about to come out and say it. Vince finally demanded that Teddy give everyone an answer in the ring, and that it better be The Right Answer. (I would so very much love to see Undertaker go up against Vince McMahon. Undertaker is made of WIN.) In the ring, accompanied by his large contingent of security guys, Teddy launched into a long speech about how everything was indeed planned to make sure that Undertaker didn't win the championship (no way, really? I never would have guessed!) and that he's not proud of what he did, but he's got a family and he only did what he had to do to keep his job and he's Really Really Very Sorry and hopes that Undertaker can find it in his heart to forgive Teddy Long. No appearance by Undertaker yet. The security guys escort Teddy backstage to his limo; Teddy breathes a sigh of relief and asks the driver to get going... ominous silence from the driver... the divider rolls down... Surprise! Undertaker glares at Teddy over his shoulder and growls, "Buckle up, Teddy." AH HA HA!!! The limo sails away, spilling purple effects lighting and smoke, with poor Teddy locked in the backseat, flailing ineffectually and screaming for help. This kind of crazy shit is why I love WWE. :D
CM Punk is in the ring. (Is it weird that I almost always mis-type it "CM Puck"?) He won like he said he would, so He Told Us So. Also, America is over-medicated and we are all unworthy and "straight-edge means I'm better than you." Oh, well, that's nice to know. Thanks, Punk. (Is it also weird that Punk's big heel campaign strategy seems to be this straight-edge thing? He's anti-alcohol and anti-drug, so he's a bad guy? I can appreciate the heelish-ness of the "I'm better than you" slant, but I think that might be a little too subtle for small children.)
Cryme Tyme vs. the Hart Dynasty: I didn't like Natalya when she first came into the WWE, but now she seems kind of awesome. Cryme Time irritates me (black guys from the hood are "Cryme Tyme"? (a) geez, what great role models, and (b) learn how to spell). Therefore, go Team Hart! (Also, I'm digging the pink-and-black color scheme.) Team Hart wins the match.
Kane vs. Khali: I'm ready for this feud to be done. Kane loses by DQ when he goes after Khali with a chair, and continues the attack until he crushes Khali's leg with the steel steps. Ow. Kane seems pretty pleased with himself over this.
Charlie Haas vs. R-Truth: R-Truth is a no-show. Drew McIntyre strolls in, announces that R-Truth had an "accident" backstage and will not be appearing here, thus Haas wins by forfeit. McIntyre congratulates Haas and then takes him down. Maybe this will go someplace interesting, but not tonight.
Batista vs. Chris Jericho: They seem pretty evenly matched. Go Jericho! No interference from Big Show, per Jericho's earlier request backstage, and Batista finally wins it. Afterward, Big Show says Batista only got lucky; Big Show challenges him to a match next week.
End of show. So far, we seem to have a pretty clear separation between the Punk-Undertaker situation and everything else. I kind of hope it stays that way, because I am totally suckered into seeing how this turns out.
Monday: Raw
Tonight's host: Cedric the Entertainer. Nice.
To start, "Are You Ready?!" *sigh* (teddysbabymama: "DX? Sure, I'm ready! But only because it most likely means it's TEDDY TIME!!!" Agreed! Yes, please!) DX is so cornball and so inappropriate. I have to roll my eyes at DX's "World's Biggest Member" shirts every time I see them. They brag about their Hell-in-a-Cell prowess; they promise us that they are going to END Legacy at the PPV. And now we get the flipside of last week's Dibiase-vs-Michaels match:
Triple-H vs. Cody Rhodes: They go back and forth, Triple-H actually sells an almost-ass-kicking by Cody. Hooray. Then Triple-H gets the upper hand again, Dibiase and Michaels get into a little tiff outside the ring (good-bye announce table, Go Ted!!!), and then Dibiase returns the favor from last week by going after Triple-H with a chair and thus causing Cody to lose the match by DQ. Ted & Cody team up to deliver some whoop-ass on Triple-H until Michaels chases them off with H's sledgehammer.
Evan Bourne vs. The Miz: Evan gets a real match again? Finally! YAY! Some real action to go along with the pretty. Mmm, I am appreciative. Pretty good match, fun to watch, and Miz wins it in the end.
Backstage, Randy Orton graciously tells Ted & Cody that they can have the rest of the night off in return for their hearty efforts against DX. Then Orton goes out to the ring for his Hell-in-a-Cell contract signing with John Cena. Jerry Lawler thoughtfully declares that Cena and Orton are off-limits to each other for this signing, so instead they exchange some heated and vaguely dirty-sounding taunts. (I am doomed. I don't think I'll ever again be able to watch Orton & Cena without the slash factor tinting my view. Thanks, wwegirls, for corrupting me. oth_leyton_love: "oh god. they aren't even touching and it feels like live porn xD seriously." lesson_in_love: "I don't even GET how they have so much sexual tension. It's pretty ridiculous.") Cena cues up a video recap on the big screen of the kinky handcuffed submission match from the last PPV, complete with Orton's grand "I Quit!" moment at the end. Orton is not amused (teddysbabymama: "lol randy's tantrum, kicking the chair."). Cena makes some more thinly-veiled dirty remarks. (They have to be doing this on purpose. This is just overt feeding of the slash devil.) Orton says that he'd love to RKO Cena through the table right now, but since he's not allowed to (and since when do you kowtow to the authority figures, Randy?), he's invited some friends to step in for him. Out come Jericho and Big Show (it makes me happy that we get to see Jericho so often!); Show throws the table out of the ring and it's on. Then MVP and Mark Henry (ugh) come to Cena's rescue. Cedric the Entertainer decides to set up a six-man tag match for later this evening.
Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix: Alicia Fox is ringside to observe, which just reminds me of how irritated I am that she has a title shot. Beth wins the match.
Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger, for the U.S. championship: They fight, and then Miz comes out and grabs the title belt, and Swagger goes after him, knocks him down, and takes the title for himself. The ref ends the match, no winner.
Chavo Guerrero vs. Cedric the Entertainer: OMG. Somebody really hates Chavo. Bullshit ensues with a fake Cedric and Hornswaggle, and then the real Cedric pins Chavo. Well, that sucked. Paul Marshall: "Seriously. F*** this s***."
Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, & Big Show vs. John Cena, MVP, & Mark Henry: Jericho cooked up some extra fun for Orton & Cena: loser has to go through a gauntlet match. Orton seems kind of irritated by this. Match starts: Cena gets into trouble early on, then gets the tag to MVP, who gets in a couple of moves on Jericho for an attempted pin before he gets into trouble himself. Then Henry's in to clean house, but in all the mess Orton hits the RKO on Henry (HA! Yay!) and gets the pin and the win. Cena will have to run the gauntlet next week.
End of show. Lots of crap, but kind of balanced out by pretty Evan, Ted & Cody getting another one over DX, and entertaining tension between Orton & Cena. And Jericho, because really, he's always a good thing.
This was Lilian Garcia's final Raw. I'm going to miss her awesome voice and spiffy outfits.
--
Sources:
Brian Eison's Smackdown Recap (via Pulse Wrestling)
wwegirls: Girls Talk Smack!
Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling's WWE Raw Report
wwegirls: Girls Talk Lilian's Final Raw