Weekly update: ECW, Smackdown, & Raw
I seem to be out of sequence here, leading up to the next pay-per-view. I think I might try to do a weekend post from now on, with special dispensation for PPVs. We'll see if I can stick to that schedule.
In the meantime, here's what happened since my last post.
ECW (Sept. 22)
Christian vs. Zack Ryder, ECW Championship: Sweet match. Christian wins it to keep the title. Ryder's wearing these weird half-tights, they're tights on one leg and just trunks on the other side. Eh. Christian is bringing the pretty, as usual, in his rough-and-tumble way. After the match, William Regal comes out to say that he's not done chasing the ECW championship. Christian gets tired of listening to Regal pontificate, lets fly with his fists, and Regal finally escapes to roll back out of the ring. I would like to point out that Christian is smoking hot, in general, and it just gets better when he turns on the intensity like this. Mmm-hmm.
Smackdown (Sept. 25)
CM Punk opens the show, being all smug and "I'm better than you." He demands that someone from the office come out, give him his due respect, and tell him who his next challenger will be. Some druids put on a processional, bringing a casket to the ring. Merry Christmas, Punk! After giving the casket a few good whacks with a handy chair, Punk opens it to find Teddy Long gift-wrapped inside. Punk makes fun of him, but gets him out of the casket, whereupon Teddy announces that Undertaker's submission move has been un-banned, and that Punk will face Undertaker for the championship at the next PPV; furthermore, Punk will face Undertaker tonight. Hmm, methinks Teddy had a nice long chat with Undertaker. I'm still waiting for them to confirm that Vince (or another McMahon, perhaps) is the real mastermind behind the Montreal conspiracy.
John Morrison & Finlay vs. Dolph Ziggler & Mike Knox: Ugh, they had to cram Finlay and Knox into this? Way to ruin the eye-candy factor. Morrison eventually hits Knox with his new finishing move, "Starship Pain" (I can't say that without a huge smirk), to score the win. Of course, he was set up by Finlay clobbering Knox with his shillelagh behind the ref's back, which just underscores why I dislike Finlay so much: he almost never wins without cheating. And he's supposed to be a face? Am I missing something? (Also, a sympathetic LOL moment -- upon Ziggler's entrance, lyssmich reported: "I just loudly yelled "I AM PERFECTIOOOOOON"...thinking I was home alone. Turns out I'm not." I get weird looks from my family all the time for stuff like that.)
Backstage, Punk has a chat with Vince McMahon. Punk is apparently concerned about Teddy Long's behavior tonight. Once again, it is implied but not stated outright that Vince has been behind all of this, but Vince shuts down that line of discussion and wishes Punk good luck tonight.
Batista vs. Big Show: Chris Jericho is ringside for moral support. While Batista and Show rumble back and forth, Jericho is really into this whole supporting-your-teammate thing, which I find just delightful. At one point during the match, Jericho tells the announcers that now Big Show is "The Animal" and demands that they pass that along to the audience. LOL. Finally, Batista gets the upper hand on Show and Jericho jumps into the ring, the ref catches him, and Batista wins by DQ. Sadly, Jericho & Show just got owned.
Some other stuff happens, and then Batista is backstage to challenge Jericho & Show for their tag titles, on behalf of himself and Rey Mysterio. To be decided at the next PPV, perhaps?
CM Punk vs. Undertaker: Punk starts the match by running around like a little girl to avoid Undertaker, but eventually they get down to business. They end up brawling outside the ring, and Punk escapes back to the ring just in time to beat the count-out, and thus wins the match. Punk grabs his title belt and runs up the ramp, getting some safe distance between himself and Undertaker before he stops to gloat.
End of show. My prediction: Punk keeps the title, but only through some further trickery. I'm still waiting for the McMahons to come into it.
Raw (Sept. 28)
Tonight's guest host: Al Sharpton. Um. Really? Well, we'll see how this goes.
MVP and Mark Henry are still rocking the matching red spandex as they host the "VIP Lounge" with the Rev. Sharpton. Chris Jericho and Big Show interrupt, so MVP asks the Rev to book Jericho & Show in a tag title match tonight; the Rev asks Jericho how he feels about that, Jericho doesn't care, and they're booked, up next!
Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. MVP & Mark Henry, for the unified tag team titles: Huge long match, almost 20 minutes. LOVE when Henry tossed Jericho and Show caught him -- GO TEAM!!! Jericho & Show win it. Thank you, WWE, we don't want to see Mark Henry and MVP as tag champions, that is 10 kinds of DO NOT WANT.
Other stuff happens: More Chavo-Hornswaggle crap. Randy Orton is so smoldering-hot that the interviewer's suit catches on fire (or not, maybe that was just my imagination going into overdrive); Orton discusses how things will go badly for John Cena tonight. Mickie James wins against Rosa Mendez.
Legacy comes out to talk shit about DX. Then DX put in their appearance. Dibiase & Rhodes bail out of the ring and into the crowd, so it's DX's turn to stand in the ring and talk shit about their opponents. What, no real action? I'm a little disappointed. On the plus side, hey, newsflash: Legacy is hot! Legacy doing nothing is better than no Legacy.
Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne: Swagger still has the U.S. title belt that he stole from Miz who stole it from Kofi Kingston last week. Heh. Also, hello Evan!, bringing the pretty wherever he goes. Tough match, but short; Jack tries to twist Evan's knee in ways it's not supposed to bend. Owie. Powerbomb to finish, and Swagger wins. While Swagger is telling the crowd how great he is, Miz comes down to assert his superiority (and wow, Miz is looking fine tonight in actual clothes, complete with a cute vest & tie); they get into a fistfight, and Kofi runs out to snatch back his title belt. Kofi smirks while Miz and Swagger look surprised and irritated. Hee!
Santino Marella & Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters: I'm kind of on the fence about Masters; my knee-jerk response is to feel some revulsion (and I'm not sure why, either), but then I have to stop and admire his incredible-looking thighs. Anyway, the match: despite a valiant effort by Santino and Hornswaggle, they lose. Then Masters goes after Hornswaggle for good measure; suddenly Chavo looks uncertain, and then he runs over and decks Masters! Hornswaggle runs away and Chavo gets the hell out of the ring. Masters looks confused and angry, and Chavo just confused and shocked, like "WTF did I just do?" Could this be a face turn for Chavo? Hmm.
Stuff happens backstage with the Rev: Jillian Hall sings badly, the Bella twins are fangirls for the Rev, and the Rev sings better than Jillian. He's not the worst guest host we've had (*cough* Cedric *cough*).
Time for the main event.
Gauntlet match #1: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho: There are decent moves back and forth, but finally Jericho locks in his favorite submission hold. Cena grabs the bottom rope, the ref waves Jericho off, Jericho ignores the ref, the ref calls the match for Cena by DQ. Jericho doesn't let up, and...
Gauntlet match #2: John Cena vs. Big Show: Jericho is still sitting on Cena when Show comes in. Then Show proceeds to beat on Cena for a bit, while Jericho is jumping up and down at ringside and yelling encouragement. Teamy goodness. :) Cena manages to power up and bench-presses Show across his shoulders (srsly, Cena is a monstrous beast); Jericho hits him from behind and Show lands on top of Cena. The ref calls the DQ, so Cena wins again, but he looks pretty wasted at the moment, which I'm sure was the whole point.
Gauntlet match #3: John Cena vs. Randy Orton: Me and the girls I watch with are firmly on the slash bandwagon at this point, so YAY! Orton is looking for the kill. Cena is looking wasted, still. Then Orton gets into the ring, Cena starts smirking (that's HOT), and the steel cage descends! Orton freaks out and tries to run for it, but he's trapped. But wait, the door is open... Orton makes a break for it, and fights his way past Cena to escape! Cena follows him out; Orton makes like Spiderman and heads for the top of the cage. Cena is in pursuit. They have a face-off on top of the cage, and then "They GET IT ON! OH MY GOD!" (-Paul Mitchell, really, I love his phrasing sometimes!) Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Orton, and Orton is down for the count. Cena stands tall in victory.
(Apparently, Cena is not a fan of heights? This must have been a fun segment for him. They're up there pretty high.)
Hell in a Cell, here we come. As oth_leyton_love said, "DX/legacy and cena/orton in a cell on the same night. excuse me if i don't make it past sunday night."
Sources:
Kevin Innarelli: ECW Real-Time Report for 9/22/2009 (via Pulse Wrestling)
Brian Eison: Smackdown Recap for 9/25/09 (via Pulse Wrestling)
wwegirls: Girls Talk Smack 09/25/09
Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling’s WWE RAW Report - 09.28.09
wwegirls: Girls Talk Raw 09/28/09
In the meantime, here's what happened since my last post.
ECW (Sept. 22)
Christian vs. Zack Ryder, ECW Championship: Sweet match. Christian wins it to keep the title. Ryder's wearing these weird half-tights, they're tights on one leg and just trunks on the other side. Eh. Christian is bringing the pretty, as usual, in his rough-and-tumble way. After the match, William Regal comes out to say that he's not done chasing the ECW championship. Christian gets tired of listening to Regal pontificate, lets fly with his fists, and Regal finally escapes to roll back out of the ring. I would like to point out that Christian is smoking hot, in general, and it just gets better when he turns on the intensity like this. Mmm-hmm.
Smackdown (Sept. 25)
CM Punk opens the show, being all smug and "I'm better than you." He demands that someone from the office come out, give him his due respect, and tell him who his next challenger will be. Some druids put on a processional, bringing a casket to the ring. Merry Christmas, Punk! After giving the casket a few good whacks with a handy chair, Punk opens it to find Teddy Long gift-wrapped inside. Punk makes fun of him, but gets him out of the casket, whereupon Teddy announces that Undertaker's submission move has been un-banned, and that Punk will face Undertaker for the championship at the next PPV; furthermore, Punk will face Undertaker tonight. Hmm, methinks Teddy had a nice long chat with Undertaker. I'm still waiting for them to confirm that Vince (or another McMahon, perhaps) is the real mastermind behind the Montreal conspiracy.
John Morrison & Finlay vs. Dolph Ziggler & Mike Knox: Ugh, they had to cram Finlay and Knox into this? Way to ruin the eye-candy factor. Morrison eventually hits Knox with his new finishing move, "Starship Pain" (I can't say that without a huge smirk), to score the win. Of course, he was set up by Finlay clobbering Knox with his shillelagh behind the ref's back, which just underscores why I dislike Finlay so much: he almost never wins without cheating. And he's supposed to be a face? Am I missing something? (Also, a sympathetic LOL moment -- upon Ziggler's entrance, lyssmich reported: "I just loudly yelled "I AM PERFECTIOOOOOON"...thinking I was home alone. Turns out I'm not." I get weird looks from my family all the time for stuff like that.)
Backstage, Punk has a chat with Vince McMahon. Punk is apparently concerned about Teddy Long's behavior tonight. Once again, it is implied but not stated outright that Vince has been behind all of this, but Vince shuts down that line of discussion and wishes Punk good luck tonight.
Batista vs. Big Show: Chris Jericho is ringside for moral support. While Batista and Show rumble back and forth, Jericho is really into this whole supporting-your-teammate thing, which I find just delightful. At one point during the match, Jericho tells the announcers that now Big Show is "The Animal" and demands that they pass that along to the audience. LOL. Finally, Batista gets the upper hand on Show and Jericho jumps into the ring, the ref catches him, and Batista wins by DQ. Sadly, Jericho & Show just got owned.
Some other stuff happens, and then Batista is backstage to challenge Jericho & Show for their tag titles, on behalf of himself and Rey Mysterio. To be decided at the next PPV, perhaps?
CM Punk vs. Undertaker: Punk starts the match by running around like a little girl to avoid Undertaker, but eventually they get down to business. They end up brawling outside the ring, and Punk escapes back to the ring just in time to beat the count-out, and thus wins the match. Punk grabs his title belt and runs up the ramp, getting some safe distance between himself and Undertaker before he stops to gloat.
End of show. My prediction: Punk keeps the title, but only through some further trickery. I'm still waiting for the McMahons to come into it.
Raw (Sept. 28)
Tonight's guest host: Al Sharpton. Um. Really? Well, we'll see how this goes.
MVP and Mark Henry are still rocking the matching red spandex as they host the "VIP Lounge" with the Rev. Sharpton. Chris Jericho and Big Show interrupt, so MVP asks the Rev to book Jericho & Show in a tag title match tonight; the Rev asks Jericho how he feels about that, Jericho doesn't care, and they're booked, up next!
Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. MVP & Mark Henry, for the unified tag team titles: Huge long match, almost 20 minutes. LOVE when Henry tossed Jericho and Show caught him -- GO TEAM!!! Jericho & Show win it. Thank you, WWE, we don't want to see Mark Henry and MVP as tag champions, that is 10 kinds of DO NOT WANT.
Other stuff happens: More Chavo-Hornswaggle crap. Randy Orton is so smoldering-hot that the interviewer's suit catches on fire (or not, maybe that was just my imagination going into overdrive); Orton discusses how things will go badly for John Cena tonight. Mickie James wins against Rosa Mendez.
Legacy comes out to talk shit about DX. Then DX put in their appearance. Dibiase & Rhodes bail out of the ring and into the crowd, so it's DX's turn to stand in the ring and talk shit about their opponents. What, no real action? I'm a little disappointed. On the plus side, hey, newsflash: Legacy is hot! Legacy doing nothing is better than no Legacy.
Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne: Swagger still has the U.S. title belt that he stole from Miz who stole it from Kofi Kingston last week. Heh. Also, hello Evan!, bringing the pretty wherever he goes. Tough match, but short; Jack tries to twist Evan's knee in ways it's not supposed to bend. Owie. Powerbomb to finish, and Swagger wins. While Swagger is telling the crowd how great he is, Miz comes down to assert his superiority (and wow, Miz is looking fine tonight in actual clothes, complete with a cute vest & tie); they get into a fistfight, and Kofi runs out to snatch back his title belt. Kofi smirks while Miz and Swagger look surprised and irritated. Hee!
Santino Marella & Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters: I'm kind of on the fence about Masters; my knee-jerk response is to feel some revulsion (and I'm not sure why, either), but then I have to stop and admire his incredible-looking thighs. Anyway, the match: despite a valiant effort by Santino and Hornswaggle, they lose. Then Masters goes after Hornswaggle for good measure; suddenly Chavo looks uncertain, and then he runs over and decks Masters! Hornswaggle runs away and Chavo gets the hell out of the ring. Masters looks confused and angry, and Chavo just confused and shocked, like "WTF did I just do?" Could this be a face turn for Chavo? Hmm.
Stuff happens backstage with the Rev: Jillian Hall sings badly, the Bella twins are fangirls for the Rev, and the Rev sings better than Jillian. He's not the worst guest host we've had (*cough* Cedric *cough*).
Time for the main event.
Gauntlet match #1: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho: There are decent moves back and forth, but finally Jericho locks in his favorite submission hold. Cena grabs the bottom rope, the ref waves Jericho off, Jericho ignores the ref, the ref calls the match for Cena by DQ. Jericho doesn't let up, and...
Gauntlet match #2: John Cena vs. Big Show: Jericho is still sitting on Cena when Show comes in. Then Show proceeds to beat on Cena for a bit, while Jericho is jumping up and down at ringside and yelling encouragement. Teamy goodness. :) Cena manages to power up and bench-presses Show across his shoulders (srsly, Cena is a monstrous beast); Jericho hits him from behind and Show lands on top of Cena. The ref calls the DQ, so Cena wins again, but he looks pretty wasted at the moment, which I'm sure was the whole point.
Gauntlet match #3: John Cena vs. Randy Orton: Me and the girls I watch with are firmly on the slash bandwagon at this point, so YAY! Orton is looking for the kill. Cena is looking wasted, still. Then Orton gets into the ring, Cena starts smirking (that's HOT), and the steel cage descends! Orton freaks out and tries to run for it, but he's trapped. But wait, the door is open... Orton makes a break for it, and fights his way past Cena to escape! Cena follows him out; Orton makes like Spiderman and heads for the top of the cage. Cena is in pursuit. They have a face-off on top of the cage, and then "They GET IT ON! OH MY GOD!" (-Paul Mitchell, really, I love his phrasing sometimes!) Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Orton, and Orton is down for the count. Cena stands tall in victory.
(Apparently, Cena is not a fan of heights? This must have been a fun segment for him. They're up there pretty high.)
Hell in a Cell, here we come. As oth_leyton_love said, "DX/legacy and cena/orton in a cell on the same night. excuse me if i don't make it past sunday night."
Sources:
Kevin Innarelli: ECW Real-Time Report for 9/22/2009 (via Pulse Wrestling)
Brian Eison: Smackdown Recap for 9/25/09 (via Pulse Wrestling)
wwegirls: Girls Talk Smack 09/25/09
Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling’s WWE RAW Report - 09.28.09
wwegirls: Girls Talk Raw 09/28/09