Weekly recap
Super short recap for last week. This week's recap will be similarly brief. Studying is eating ALL of my free time.
Raw (Dec. 21)
Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, & Melina vs. Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox, & Maryse: The face divas win when Melina cheats: she hits Maryse with a dropkick so Kelly can roll her up for the win.
Randy Orton, Ted Dibiase, & Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, & Mark Henry: Aside from Henry... whoa, sexxxyyy. It's a good night for the fangirls. Everybody's in and out of the ring, getting in on the action, but it's Kofi who takes down Ted for the win. Evan got a chance to hit the Air Bourne (on Cody), so I'm happy.
John Cena vs. Jack Swagger: Actually a pretty great match. Cena eventually locks in the STF and gets Swagger to tap out.
Chris Masters vs. Carlito: Masters wins, of course. Post-match, he celebrates by making out with Eve Torres and doing the booby-dance.
Sheamus vs. MVP: MVP gets killed. Ouch. Post-match, Cena comes storming down to the ring, rips off his shirt (this seems to be a regular occurrence now; I approve), and demands his championship rematch. Sheamus walks out on him, and I guess Cena will have to wait another week.
Miz vs. "Santino Claus": Miz crushes him.
Throughout the night, they showed video clips of the ongoing Hornswaggle-vs-DX saga. It started with a clip from "earlier," in which Triple-H and Shawn Michaels read a summons from the Little People's Court which directs them to the ring in the empty arena. They crawl under the ring and find themselves... somewhere else (backstage), where the court is in session. Hornswaggle is suing them for "intentional infliction of emotional distress." Exhibit A: verbal harassment. Exhibit B: Hornswaggle eats a Pedigree for no good reason. At that point, it seems like the court has seen enough, and Shawn throws a little hissy-fit; everybody else throws garbage at them, while Shawn and Triple-H flee the courtroom and Little People Land. Shawn almost gets dragged back under the ring by the midget mob, but Triple-H manages to save him.
Fast-forward to the end of the night: Big Show calls out the real Santa Claus, who appears as requested. Show is huge, so Santa sits on Show's knee instead, and Show makes his "Dear Santa" wish: for his BFF Chris Jericho to return to Raw. Santa says it will happen next week. Show: "Thank you very much, Santa, you're the best." Then Hornswaggle runs out and pulls off Santa's beard, revealing Chris Jericho himself. LOL! A bunch of midgets come out from under the ring (dressed in DX gear -- WHY???) and attack; Jericho and Show fight them all off, turn to finish off Hornswaggle, and Hornswaggle hits a superkick on Jericho's shins. Cue DX. They save Hornswaggle and clear Jericho and Show out of the ring. With that out of the way, Triple-H wants to squash Hornswaggle once and for all; Shawn says it's Christmas, they can't squash him; Triple-H says what he wants for Christmas is to squash Hornswaggle. Shawn admits that Hornswaggle has grown on him, and Triple-H admits that he doesn't hate Hornswaggle as much as he used to. Shawn does the "please mommy can we keep him" routine; Triple-H says there's a height requirement to be in DX, but if Hornswaggle drops the lawsuit he can be their mascot. Hornswaggle is thrilled.
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Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling's Real-Time RAW Report
Andy Wheeler:
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ECW (Dec. 22)
Jack Swagger returns to ECW for the ECW Homecoming Tournament. Backstage, Christian is giving Yoshi a pep-talk when Swagger interrupts. Swagger compares Yoshi and Christian to the Karate Kid and Mister Miyagi; Christian calls Swagger a dork. My Man is awesome enough to get away with that.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jack Swagger: Swagger looks strong, as usual, and Yoshi looks kind of sloppy, but Yoshi wins.
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Rich Twilling: Twilling's WWE "ECW on Syfy" Live Coverage
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Smackdown (Dec. 25)
R-Truth, John Morrison, Matt Hardy, & Finlay vs. CM Punk, Luke Gallows, Dolph Ziggler, & Drew McIntyre: It ends in a brawl, of course, and Morrison hits Ziggler with Starship Pain for the finish.
Jericho comes out to bitch, the Hart Dynasty comes out to say "nyah-nyah, we get a title shot and you don't," and then DX shows up on the jumbotron to make fun of everybody. Jericho tells the Hart boys that they need to make an impact, so they drop him with their double-springboard move. Merry Christmas, Jericho.
Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio, heavyweight championship: Backstage, before the match, Mysterio says it will take a Christmas miracle for him to beat Undertaker. They go back and forth for a little while; finally Taker hits a chokeslam, and Batista runs in to attack him. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb, Taker gets out of it, Mysterio hits the 619 on Taker but can't get the pin, Batista spears Taker, Mysterio hits Batista with the 619 and a senton, and then finally Mysterio bails out of the ring before it can get ugly.
Cryme Tyme vs. two random guys?: Cryme Tyme wins.
Mickie James & Maria vs. Beth Phoenix & Layla: Ringside, Michelle McCool is at the commentary table, making fun of Mickie. Mickie finally takes out Layla to win, then goes after McCool, but Beth throws her into the announce table.
DX vs. Hart Dynasty, unified tag team championships: Hey, something new! And good! I like the Hart Dynasty; they really know how to move. LOL at Natalya getting in a shot on Shawn when the ref isn't looking. But eventually, DH Smith eats a superkick-Pedigree combo and DX gets the win.
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Brian Eison: Smackdown recap for 12/25/09
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P.S. I've been having a rollicking good time lately, following some of my favorite WWE stars on Twitter. Jericho is a total chatterbox; Beth Phoenix is hilariously in-character (most of the time); Dibiase Jr shares little gems like, "So sheamus is asleep on the couch across from me... Should I spray tan him???" You can find them listed here and here.
Raw (Dec. 21)
Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, & Melina vs. Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox, & Maryse: The face divas win when Melina cheats: she hits Maryse with a dropkick so Kelly can roll her up for the win.
Randy Orton, Ted Dibiase, & Cody Rhodes vs. Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, & Mark Henry: Aside from Henry... whoa, sexxxyyy. It's a good night for the fangirls. Everybody's in and out of the ring, getting in on the action, but it's Kofi who takes down Ted for the win. Evan got a chance to hit the Air Bourne (on Cody), so I'm happy.
John Cena vs. Jack Swagger: Actually a pretty great match. Cena eventually locks in the STF and gets Swagger to tap out.
Chris Masters vs. Carlito: Masters wins, of course. Post-match, he celebrates by making out with Eve Torres and doing the booby-dance.
Sheamus vs. MVP: MVP gets killed. Ouch. Post-match, Cena comes storming down to the ring, rips off his shirt (this seems to be a regular occurrence now; I approve), and demands his championship rematch. Sheamus walks out on him, and I guess Cena will have to wait another week.
Miz vs. "Santino Claus": Miz crushes him.
Throughout the night, they showed video clips of the ongoing Hornswaggle-vs-DX saga. It started with a clip from "earlier," in which Triple-H and Shawn Michaels read a summons from the Little People's Court which directs them to the ring in the empty arena. They crawl under the ring and find themselves... somewhere else (backstage), where the court is in session. Hornswaggle is suing them for "intentional infliction of emotional distress." Exhibit A: verbal harassment. Exhibit B: Hornswaggle eats a Pedigree for no good reason. At that point, it seems like the court has seen enough, and Shawn throws a little hissy-fit; everybody else throws garbage at them, while Shawn and Triple-H flee the courtroom and Little People Land. Shawn almost gets dragged back under the ring by the midget mob, but Triple-H manages to save him.
Fast-forward to the end of the night: Big Show calls out the real Santa Claus, who appears as requested. Show is huge, so Santa sits on Show's knee instead, and Show makes his "Dear Santa" wish: for his BFF Chris Jericho to return to Raw. Santa says it will happen next week. Show: "Thank you very much, Santa, you're the best." Then Hornswaggle runs out and pulls off Santa's beard, revealing Chris Jericho himself. LOL! A bunch of midgets come out from under the ring (dressed in DX gear -- WHY???) and attack; Jericho and Show fight them all off, turn to finish off Hornswaggle, and Hornswaggle hits a superkick on Jericho's shins. Cue DX. They save Hornswaggle and clear Jericho and Show out of the ring. With that out of the way, Triple-H wants to squash Hornswaggle once and for all; Shawn says it's Christmas, they can't squash him; Triple-H says what he wants for Christmas is to squash Hornswaggle. Shawn admits that Hornswaggle has grown on him, and Triple-H admits that he doesn't hate Hornswaggle as much as he used to. Shawn does the "please mommy can we keep him" routine; Triple-H says there's a height requirement to be in DX, but if Hornswaggle drops the lawsuit he can be their mascot. Hornswaggle is thrilled.
--
Paul Marshall: Pulse Wrestling's Real-Time RAW Report
Andy Wheeler:
--
ECW (Dec. 22)
Jack Swagger returns to ECW for the ECW Homecoming Tournament. Backstage, Christian is giving Yoshi a pep-talk when Swagger interrupts. Swagger compares Yoshi and Christian to the Karate Kid and Mister Miyagi; Christian calls Swagger a dork. My Man is awesome enough to get away with that.
Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jack Swagger: Swagger looks strong, as usual, and Yoshi looks kind of sloppy, but Yoshi wins.
--
Rich Twilling: Twilling's WWE "ECW on Syfy" Live Coverage
--
Smackdown (Dec. 25)
R-Truth, John Morrison, Matt Hardy, & Finlay vs. CM Punk, Luke Gallows, Dolph Ziggler, & Drew McIntyre: It ends in a brawl, of course, and Morrison hits Ziggler with Starship Pain for the finish.
Jericho comes out to bitch, the Hart Dynasty comes out to say "nyah-nyah, we get a title shot and you don't," and then DX shows up on the jumbotron to make fun of everybody. Jericho tells the Hart boys that they need to make an impact, so they drop him with their double-springboard move. Merry Christmas, Jericho.
Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio, heavyweight championship: Backstage, before the match, Mysterio says it will take a Christmas miracle for him to beat Undertaker. They go back and forth for a little while; finally Taker hits a chokeslam, and Batista runs in to attack him. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb, Taker gets out of it, Mysterio hits the 619 on Taker but can't get the pin, Batista spears Taker, Mysterio hits Batista with the 619 and a senton, and then finally Mysterio bails out of the ring before it can get ugly.
Cryme Tyme vs. two random guys?: Cryme Tyme wins.
Mickie James & Maria vs. Beth Phoenix & Layla: Ringside, Michelle McCool is at the commentary table, making fun of Mickie. Mickie finally takes out Layla to win, then goes after McCool, but Beth throws her into the announce table.
DX vs. Hart Dynasty, unified tag team championships: Hey, something new! And good! I like the Hart Dynasty; they really know how to move. LOL at Natalya getting in a shot on Shawn when the ref isn't looking. But eventually, DH Smith eats a superkick-Pedigree combo and DX gets the win.
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Brian Eison: Smackdown recap for 12/25/09
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P.S. I've been having a rollicking good time lately, following some of my favorite WWE stars on Twitter. Jericho is a total chatterbox; Beth Phoenix is hilariously in-character (most of the time); Dibiase Jr shares little gems like, "So sheamus is asleep on the couch across from me... Should I spray tan him???" You can find them listed here and here.