FIC: Doctor Who, "As It Should Be", 1/1, PG
Fic Name: "As It Should Be", 1/1
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Journey's End
Beta: dynapink, who is wonderful. Thank you.
Characters: AltBlueSuit Ten/Rose, Donna Noble
Summary: Rose comes to terms with the new life handed to her at Bad Wolf Bay, but decides there is one thing that needs to be set right before any of them can truly move on.
-~-
One call to her father had dispatched a car to get them from Bad Wolf Bay. The three of them sat on the beach, the moisture from the sand seeping into their clothes. Jackie sat on her own, having wandered away without a word. Rose knew her mother wanted to know what was being said, but was mercifully giving them privacy. For now, at least.
This strange but familiar man sat next to her, his skin pale against the blue suit he wore. Her Doctor had never worn blue. Rose still couldn't decide if she knew him or not.
It had only been when the TARDIS disappeared that she realized she'd never kissed the Doctor in the brown suit. For that matter, she'd never kissed her Doctor in the black leather jacket either. Not really. Not as herself. Maybe it was better she hadn't. Maybe it would make the confusion easier to push away.
"Do you..." she began, trailing off when she couldn't decide how to ask him who he was, what he knew.
He looked at her and she swallowed hard. He was the Doctor she knew. She could see that. He looked just like the Doctor after the regeneration she'd witnessed, all except for his eyes. His eyes, that empty look. That was from her first Doctor. It was the look he'd had in his eyes when he first tried to talk her out of having anything to do with him, when he'd spoken of how he could feel the Earth moving under his feet.
"You know everything he knew," she said. It was more of a statement than a question, because she'd seen the answer.
"Yeah," he said. "But I don't just know it, Rose. I was there. I remember the smell of the gas in that funeral parlor in Cardiff. I can feel the apple grass on New Earth against my hands. I was there, Rose. Everything you remember. I was there."
He looked up, a look of great sadness on his face, and it was only then that she realized what he'd lost.
"All those worlds. You've lost them," she said, wincing a little at how harsh the words sounded in the air between them.
"Yes," he said, bowing his head for a moment. "It's not all loss though, Rose." He looked back at her, then reached out for her hand. She let her finger slip up to his wrist to feel his pulse, even and regular from his single heart.
"I hope it won't be," she told him. "And who knows? Maybe Torchwood's got the right technology that you can rebuild-"
"Doesn't matter," he said, then smiled a little. "Well, can't say I won't try," he admitted, and they laughed a little. "But this, Rose...this body. This human body. It's-it's like the journey I could never take. Now I can. I've always been fascinated with Earth, Rose. Perhaps this is why."
"You never have to be alone again," she told him. "You're stuck with me."
"Oh, all right then," he said, feigning resignation. "I suppose we can take that as a given."
"Even he-the other Doctor-even he won't have to be alone. Donna seemed nice, and now she can help him so much more."
His eyes dropped down to examine the sand again, and she knew right away that she'd said something wrong.
"He won't be alone, will he? He'll let her stay. I know he will. He'll need her."
"He won't be able to," he said, his voice breaking a little on the last two words. "She-she's carrying too much of a burden. More than her body can withstand."
"Will she die?"
"She would, but he doesn't have to let it happen. He'll have to leave her, though. He'll have to take her back to her family. Make her forget everything. It's the only way to make what I gave her dormant. The only way she'll live through it."
"So she'll never know? Everything she did? Everything she was, her purpose? She'll never know?"
"She can't."
"She was a good friend to you. She deserves better than that."
"She does, but that doesn't change what he'll have to do."
"He wouldn't do it," Rose said, shaking her head.
"He would. He will. He's me. I know it as well as he does. She's-she's better off without him."
"He'll be alone," she said, feeling frantic at being unable to help.
"He's been alone before. He won't be alone forever. He'll go on."
"I'd rather die than forget my time with the-" she stopped herself. "With you," she corrected.
"I know," he said, squeezing her hand harder. "I wish I could set it right, but I can't. He can't either. He'll do what needs to be done, and he'll go on. Donna will never know the difference."
"Will you be all right? You're part human."
"I'll be fine. The body may be human, but the brain's still Time Lord."
Rose didn't feel convinced, and apparently it showed on her face. He pulled his hand away from hers and cupped her chin, looking right at her as he repeated what he'd said.
"Do you believe me this time?" he asked, releasing her chin to take her hand again.
Rose nodded and looked off at the horizon. The sun was just beginning to set and there was just enough of a chill in the air for it to sting. She couldn't be there for both of her Doctors, but she could be everything she could be for one of them. Why couldn't the same be true of Donna Noble?
~-~
A month later, Rose looked up at the knock on her office door. It opened and her assistant poked her head into the room, announcing the arrival of her next appointment.
"She's here, ma'am."
"Thank you. Send her in, please," Rose said, and she had to work hard to keep her expression neutral when she caught her first glance of that shock of red hair as the woman walked into her office.
"Thanks for coming on such short notice," Rose said, gesturing to the chair across from her desk. She watched as Donna ran her hand over the rich, honey-colored leather before she sat down, looking pleasantly impressed at her surroundings. Again, Rose had to fight not to smile.
"I'm Rose Tyler," Rose offered.
"Donna Noble," Donna said, looking more at the strange objects in Rose's office than at Rose herself.
"Well, I'll get right to the details. We need more help here, and I was tired of waiting for Personnel to fill the positions. It'll start with some typing, filing, that sort of thing. Here at Torchwood, though, you can take it from there as far as you'd like."
"How long d'you think you'll need someone?"
"Oh, indefinitely, if that's all right. We're really short-staffed, and I can use all the help I can get."
"Right," Donna answered, but Rose could see there was something she was holding back.
"Did you have any other questions?"
"No," Donna said, too quickly. Rose waited for her to reconsider, and she wasn't disappointed. "It's just-Torchwood, you know?" Donna made a funny gesture with her fingers, waggling them in front of her as she bugged out her eyes. "It's just...you hear all sorts of strange things about this place."
Rose nodded slowly, smiling. "Whatever you've heard, Miss Noble, I assure you, it's even stranger than that." She watched the other woman closely, letting her digest the information. "Will that be all right? Do you think you'll be comfortable here?"
Donna looked around, her hands gripping the thickness of the leather chair a little harder for a moment or two. Rose could tell she was afraid, unsure.
"Your agency told me you would be perfect for us. We've used them many times, and they've never been wrong before," she lied, hoping Donna wasn't nosy enough to know where her fellow temps had been sent in the past.
"S'pose we can give it a go," Donna said, a real smile replacing the tentative one that had been there a moment before.
Rose stood up. "Welcome to Torchwood, Donna Noble. I'll show you to your desk, and then there are a few people I'd like to introduce you to."
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Journey's End
Beta: dynapink, who is wonderful. Thank you.
Characters: AltBlueSuit Ten/Rose, Donna Noble
Summary: Rose comes to terms with the new life handed to her at Bad Wolf Bay, but decides there is one thing that needs to be set right before any of them can truly move on.
-~-
One call to her father had dispatched a car to get them from Bad Wolf Bay. The three of them sat on the beach, the moisture from the sand seeping into their clothes. Jackie sat on her own, having wandered away without a word. Rose knew her mother wanted to know what was being said, but was mercifully giving them privacy. For now, at least.
This strange but familiar man sat next to her, his skin pale against the blue suit he wore. Her Doctor had never worn blue. Rose still couldn't decide if she knew him or not.
It had only been when the TARDIS disappeared that she realized she'd never kissed the Doctor in the brown suit. For that matter, she'd never kissed her Doctor in the black leather jacket either. Not really. Not as herself. Maybe it was better she hadn't. Maybe it would make the confusion easier to push away.
"Do you..." she began, trailing off when she couldn't decide how to ask him who he was, what he knew.
He looked at her and she swallowed hard. He was the Doctor she knew. She could see that. He looked just like the Doctor after the regeneration she'd witnessed, all except for his eyes. His eyes, that empty look. That was from her first Doctor. It was the look he'd had in his eyes when he first tried to talk her out of having anything to do with him, when he'd spoken of how he could feel the Earth moving under his feet.
"You know everything he knew," she said. It was more of a statement than a question, because she'd seen the answer.
"Yeah," he said. "But I don't just know it, Rose. I was there. I remember the smell of the gas in that funeral parlor in Cardiff. I can feel the apple grass on New Earth against my hands. I was there, Rose. Everything you remember. I was there."
He looked up, a look of great sadness on his face, and it was only then that she realized what he'd lost.
"All those worlds. You've lost them," she said, wincing a little at how harsh the words sounded in the air between them.
"Yes," he said, bowing his head for a moment. "It's not all loss though, Rose." He looked back at her, then reached out for her hand. She let her finger slip up to his wrist to feel his pulse, even and regular from his single heart.
"I hope it won't be," she told him. "And who knows? Maybe Torchwood's got the right technology that you can rebuild-"
"Doesn't matter," he said, then smiled a little. "Well, can't say I won't try," he admitted, and they laughed a little. "But this, Rose...this body. This human body. It's-it's like the journey I could never take. Now I can. I've always been fascinated with Earth, Rose. Perhaps this is why."
"You never have to be alone again," she told him. "You're stuck with me."
"Oh, all right then," he said, feigning resignation. "I suppose we can take that as a given."
"Even he-the other Doctor-even he won't have to be alone. Donna seemed nice, and now she can help him so much more."
His eyes dropped down to examine the sand again, and she knew right away that she'd said something wrong.
"He won't be alone, will he? He'll let her stay. I know he will. He'll need her."
"He won't be able to," he said, his voice breaking a little on the last two words. "She-she's carrying too much of a burden. More than her body can withstand."
"Will she die?"
"She would, but he doesn't have to let it happen. He'll have to leave her, though. He'll have to take her back to her family. Make her forget everything. It's the only way to make what I gave her dormant. The only way she'll live through it."
"So she'll never know? Everything she did? Everything she was, her purpose? She'll never know?"
"She can't."
"She was a good friend to you. She deserves better than that."
"She does, but that doesn't change what he'll have to do."
"He wouldn't do it," Rose said, shaking her head.
"He would. He will. He's me. I know it as well as he does. She's-she's better off without him."
"He'll be alone," she said, feeling frantic at being unable to help.
"He's been alone before. He won't be alone forever. He'll go on."
"I'd rather die than forget my time with the-" she stopped herself. "With you," she corrected.
"I know," he said, squeezing her hand harder. "I wish I could set it right, but I can't. He can't either. He'll do what needs to be done, and he'll go on. Donna will never know the difference."
"Will you be all right? You're part human."
"I'll be fine. The body may be human, but the brain's still Time Lord."
Rose didn't feel convinced, and apparently it showed on her face. He pulled his hand away from hers and cupped her chin, looking right at her as he repeated what he'd said.
"Do you believe me this time?" he asked, releasing her chin to take her hand again.
Rose nodded and looked off at the horizon. The sun was just beginning to set and there was just enough of a chill in the air for it to sting. She couldn't be there for both of her Doctors, but she could be everything she could be for one of them. Why couldn't the same be true of Donna Noble?
~-~
A month later, Rose looked up at the knock on her office door. It opened and her assistant poked her head into the room, announcing the arrival of her next appointment.
"She's here, ma'am."
"Thank you. Send her in, please," Rose said, and she had to work hard to keep her expression neutral when she caught her first glance of that shock of red hair as the woman walked into her office.
"Thanks for coming on such short notice," Rose said, gesturing to the chair across from her desk. She watched as Donna ran her hand over the rich, honey-colored leather before she sat down, looking pleasantly impressed at her surroundings. Again, Rose had to fight not to smile.
"I'm Rose Tyler," Rose offered.
"Donna Noble," Donna said, looking more at the strange objects in Rose's office than at Rose herself.
"Well, I'll get right to the details. We need more help here, and I was tired of waiting for Personnel to fill the positions. It'll start with some typing, filing, that sort of thing. Here at Torchwood, though, you can take it from there as far as you'd like."
"How long d'you think you'll need someone?"
"Oh, indefinitely, if that's all right. We're really short-staffed, and I can use all the help I can get."
"Right," Donna answered, but Rose could see there was something she was holding back.
"Did you have any other questions?"
"No," Donna said, too quickly. Rose waited for her to reconsider, and she wasn't disappointed. "It's just-Torchwood, you know?" Donna made a funny gesture with her fingers, waggling them in front of her as she bugged out her eyes. "It's just...you hear all sorts of strange things about this place."
Rose nodded slowly, smiling. "Whatever you've heard, Miss Noble, I assure you, it's even stranger than that." She watched the other woman closely, letting her digest the information. "Will that be all right? Do you think you'll be comfortable here?"
Donna looked around, her hands gripping the thickness of the leather chair a little harder for a moment or two. Rose could tell she was afraid, unsure.
"Your agency told me you would be perfect for us. We've used them many times, and they've never been wrong before," she lied, hoping Donna wasn't nosy enough to know where her fellow temps had been sent in the past.
"S'pose we can give it a go," Donna said, a real smile replacing the tentative one that had been there a moment before.
Rose stood up. "Welcome to Torchwood, Donna Noble. I'll show you to your desk, and then there are a few people I'd like to introduce you to."