Fic: White Lies Like Cyanide

Aug 06, 2010 03:14


Title: White Lies Like Cyanide
Fandom: BBC's Sherlock
Pairing: pre-slash, mostly. Sherlock/John
Rating: PG-13? Nothing explicit but very mild violence and some... horror possibly, one mild swear.
Word Count: 1933
Spoilers: Very general spoilers for episode 1.
Author's Notes: Based on ciaimpala 's prompt at the sherlockbbc_fic  meme. No beta so I appologise in advance for ( Read more... )

oneshot, sherlock/john, sherlock, hurt/comfort, fic

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Comments 10

bramble_rose August 6 2010, 02:39:10 UTC
ooh, like VERY much!! Definitely did a great job getting across both John & Sherlock's desperation, John's impulsiveness and Sherlock's vulnerability. The visual imagery of Sherlock asleep in the hospital room when John woke up was quite nice :-)

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mad_pooh August 6 2010, 02:45:34 UTC
that's adorable :) i like it when guys worried about each other <3
thanks)

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ciaimpala August 6 2010, 03:21:29 UTC
I loved this!!! SO so much!!

You used the prompt so perfectly-I love the idea of John just acting on impulse without thinking clearly. The small detail of the hand rubbing was just gorgeous. And I love the conversation with them in the hospital, it rings so in character, Sherlock being completely lost, not knowing what to do with all his emotions. The line "I'll keep you safer" just broke my heart.

Thank you so much for writing this!

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snowishness August 6 2010, 03:22:09 UTC
Quite nice, I liked it overall. I really liked the parts you had with John noticing things.

You did say you wanted constructive criticism, and I do so love to oblige.

Typo: "has replaced in --> it with a slight glare"

And that whole sentence, in fact, reads as too run-on. I figure you're probably trying to show his thought processes as getting away from him, but they'd probably actually be slowing down, almost against his will. Super-short sentences might show that better? I'm not entirely sure though, so if you're happy with it keep it, just know that it threw me out of the story a little as I tried to untangle it.

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runawayroadkill August 6 2010, 04:29:03 UTC
^0^ Oh I love h/c! and this line made me laugh so loud in real life: "He should have told Sherlock that he was his best friend, more if he ever wanted, not that he'd have expected the man to listen "

I just love how Sherlock rambles on in the episodes just assuming Watsons there xDDD

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