PSA
Annual year-end newsletter from the Stubbe Center, Philadelphia
Happy New Year, werewolves!
Well, you made it through 2006 without being shot, captured, or infected with rabies. That makes it a successful year! Looking ahead, 2007 promises to be a much easier one to handle, if you continue to use the Center's services and official approach, which we very much hope you do.
By now the January full moon is over and you're licking last night's wounds. There are few better explanations for those than a holiday party! In February you won't have anything to blame them on, but you won't have to: moonfall is Friday the 2nd. The perfect opportunity for a weekend in the country! You'll have the same convenience on Saturday March 3. In April you may have to invent explanations for taking off the 2-3, the Monday and Tuesday after Palm Sunday, rather than days closer to Easter the following week. For this situation we recommend the excuse of family obligations. Fringe religious beliefs will suffice, but be very cautious with this approach--the last thing you want is for your coworkers to be watching you for signs of the occult, which, given your situation, they will almost certainly find! Feigning sickness is always effective, but can be risky. (For a full "refresher course" on our recommended methods, see your Center handbook).
May brings its own challenges: a full moon on Wednesday the 2nd, and another on Thursday the 31st (the "blue" moon!). Luckily, the June 30th moon falls on a Saturday, and the July 29th on a Sunday. The August 29th moon falls on a Tuesday--teachers and students should check their school calendars carefully, because this is frequently the first day of school! We also caution all to check their summer calendars very carefully: this is wedding season, and you don't want to be caught off guard by a social
even that you can't miss, but can't attend in human form!
For our non-lunar friends, we note that the summer solstice is Thursday, June 21, and wish you a happy Midsummer's run.
September's moon is on Wednesday the 26th, also the day before the first day of Sukkot. Have you considered converting to Judaism? October and November bring a welcome relief: Friday Oct 26 and Saturday Nov 24. The October moon is close to "Halloween weekend", though mercifully far from the eve itself--see our enclosed supplement, "Surviving Halloween as a Real Monster." The November date falls on the weekend after Thanksgiving, which for many will require no change in schedule. However, some of you may be experiencing "waxing symptoms" and we suggest that those members avoid shopping on Black Friday. Send your clearer-headed relatives to snap up those deals!
December will bring a unique challenge (though common in recent years): the full moon falls on Sunday the 23rd. While this weekend and proximity to Christmas will help avoid work-related problems, the placement of the full moon could seriously impede social or family relations. We recommend taking a vacation over the holidays (never a cruise--see our handbook). If this is impossible, consider scheduling your holiday parties so that any
aftereffects to your transformation can be put down to having "too much fun." (Tis the season!)
Stubbe Center will continue to offer all the services that you have come to expect, as well as an exciting range of new opportunities to members. We are pleased to announce the opening of a new local branch in upstate New York this coming April, and watch your mail for more information about our planned Pack Retreat in late September. If you're not on a mailing list to receive information about local activities and events, please contact our main office and we will connect you with the Stubbe Center branch office nearest to you.
We are proud to be the primary werewolf help center in the Northeast, and are grateful for all of our clientele. Once again, thank you for your patronage, and best wishes for 2007!
Happy New Year, werewolves!
Well, you made it through 2006 without being shot, captured, or infected with rabies. That makes it a successful year! Looking ahead, 2007 promises to be a much easier one to handle, if you continue to use the Center's services and official approach, which we very much hope you do.
By now the January full moon is over and you're licking last night's wounds. There are few better explanations for those than a holiday party! In February you won't have anything to blame them on, but you won't have to: moonfall is Friday the 2nd. The perfect opportunity for a weekend in the country! You'll have the same convenience on Saturday March 3. In April you may have to invent explanations for taking off the 2-3, the Monday and Tuesday after Palm Sunday, rather than days closer to Easter the following week. For this situation we recommend the excuse of family obligations. Fringe religious beliefs will suffice, but be very cautious with this approach--the last thing you want is for your coworkers to be watching you for signs of the occult, which, given your situation, they will almost certainly find! Feigning sickness is always effective, but can be risky. (For a full "refresher course" on our recommended methods, see your Center handbook).
May brings its own challenges: a full moon on Wednesday the 2nd, and another on Thursday the 31st (the "blue" moon!). Luckily, the June 30th moon falls on a Saturday, and the July 29th on a Sunday. The August 29th moon falls on a Tuesday--teachers and students should check their school calendars carefully, because this is frequently the first day of school! We also caution all to check their summer calendars very carefully: this is wedding season, and you don't want to be caught off guard by a social
even that you can't miss, but can't attend in human form!
For our non-lunar friends, we note that the summer solstice is Thursday, June 21, and wish you a happy Midsummer's run.
September's moon is on Wednesday the 26th, also the day before the first day of Sukkot. Have you considered converting to Judaism? October and November bring a welcome relief: Friday Oct 26 and Saturday Nov 24. The October moon is close to "Halloween weekend", though mercifully far from the eve itself--see our enclosed supplement, "Surviving Halloween as a Real Monster." The November date falls on the weekend after Thanksgiving, which for many will require no change in schedule. However, some of you may be experiencing "waxing symptoms" and we suggest that those members avoid shopping on Black Friday. Send your clearer-headed relatives to snap up those deals!
December will bring a unique challenge (though common in recent years): the full moon falls on Sunday the 23rd. While this weekend and proximity to Christmas will help avoid work-related problems, the placement of the full moon could seriously impede social or family relations. We recommend taking a vacation over the holidays (never a cruise--see our handbook). If this is impossible, consider scheduling your holiday parties so that any
aftereffects to your transformation can be put down to having "too much fun." (Tis the season!)
Stubbe Center will continue to offer all the services that you have come to expect, as well as an exciting range of new opportunities to members. We are pleased to announce the opening of a new local branch in upstate New York this coming April, and watch your mail for more information about our planned Pack Retreat in late September. If you're not on a mailing list to receive information about local activities and events, please contact our main office and we will connect you with the Stubbe Center branch office nearest to you.
We are proud to be the primary werewolf help center in the Northeast, and are grateful for all of our clientele. Once again, thank you for your patronage, and best wishes for 2007!