I followed a link to
Andrew Rilstone's website from
subsidaryforge and found
this.
Scottish Hospital Joke
Tony Blair is being shown around a hospital. He comes to a ward full of people who seem to have nothing wrong with them. He goes to the first bed and says "Well, how are you." The patient looks him straight in the eye and says "The best lay schemes of mice and men gang aft aglay!". Tony smiles politely, and walks to the next bed, where the patient greets him with a hearty "Och, gi'us a gift, the gift he gi'us, to see ourselves as other's see us." Slightly confused, Tony tries to strike up a conversation with yet another inmate, but this one just mutters "Och, my luv's like a red, red, rose that's newly sprung in June" repeatedly.
"Is this the psychiatric ward?" says Tony.
"No," the ward sister replies. "It's the burns unit."