yeah
what feels good right now, is maturity.
i'm listening to brazilian jazz. my roommate and i held a smashingly good housewarming party last night in our incredible 1000 sq. ft. apartment-suite. we still have apples bobbing in the bobbing-for-apples-bucket, and a table full of decorated miniature pumpkins that were the contestants in a pumpkin-decorating competition. our wine bottle rack is full, and there is still a scent of spiced apple cider and baked goods infused in the air.
looking back at a list of my "favorite musicians" i can see how growing up has influenced my musical tastes. i'm much more interested in the "chill" factor of whatever sounds are crowding my ears. i'm also much more appreciative of the times in my week when i have a chance to sit down on our arm chair and have my purring cat in my lap for more than 5 minutes. what a luxury she is.
i'm not able to express, enough, nor without tears forming in my eyes and goosebumps running down my arms at the thought, exactly how much i enjoy the presence of good people in my life. and there are so many good people. so many wonderful, lovely, vibrant, eclectic, fascinating people.
i don't know if wanting to express how i feel about them is, in some way, connected to a need to feel as if i play that part in someone else's life as well - am i needed? am i a wonderful, lovely, vibrant, eclectic, fascinating person, to somebody? do i need to know for sure that i am? do i need to have that verbalized? expressed? in order to know that it's true?
p'r'aps. p'r'aps.
but, in the immortal words of my stepfather ... "life is sweet."
as exhausted, over-worked, and totally overwhelmed as i feel, i am still so rich, so lucky, so taken care of. i feel as if the universe rewards me on a regular basis.
i must be doing something right.
i'm listening to brazilian jazz. my roommate and i held a smashingly good housewarming party last night in our incredible 1000 sq. ft. apartment-suite. we still have apples bobbing in the bobbing-for-apples-bucket, and a table full of decorated miniature pumpkins that were the contestants in a pumpkin-decorating competition. our wine bottle rack is full, and there is still a scent of spiced apple cider and baked goods infused in the air.
looking back at a list of my "favorite musicians" i can see how growing up has influenced my musical tastes. i'm much more interested in the "chill" factor of whatever sounds are crowding my ears. i'm also much more appreciative of the times in my week when i have a chance to sit down on our arm chair and have my purring cat in my lap for more than 5 minutes. what a luxury she is.
i'm not able to express, enough, nor without tears forming in my eyes and goosebumps running down my arms at the thought, exactly how much i enjoy the presence of good people in my life. and there are so many good people. so many wonderful, lovely, vibrant, eclectic, fascinating people.
i don't know if wanting to express how i feel about them is, in some way, connected to a need to feel as if i play that part in someone else's life as well - am i needed? am i a wonderful, lovely, vibrant, eclectic, fascinating person, to somebody? do i need to know for sure that i am? do i need to have that verbalized? expressed? in order to know that it's true?
p'r'aps. p'r'aps.
but, in the immortal words of my stepfather ... "life is sweet."
as exhausted, over-worked, and totally overwhelmed as i feel, i am still so rich, so lucky, so taken care of. i feel as if the universe rewards me on a regular basis.
i must be doing something right.