Sincerily...Your friend of convenience....
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:Friend of convenience: Some one who gives there all to a friendship, always there, but when they need something you ignore them and or avoid them.
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I'm going through a huge transition in my life. Weeding out the “true friends” from the “fake friends.” The ones who treat me like a “friend of convenience” I realize; I was that for allot of people.
So long as I had something they wanted, or good advice for them, or listened to them when they had a problem, I was good.
Then when I needed them, I was alone...
I put this big thing up in my LJ the other day; I had so much held in that was just ready to explode.
And it seriously feels like the only way I can vent is my LJ Aside from two...count it two (one being my boyfriend) no one had time from me... Everyone else partially listened to me, and said the most generic stuff, and things I just wanted to hear...
And I know that...
I Don't like that, and that is NOT what I'm looking for at all.
I'm glad for LJ I've made some very cool friends on here, some I know by name others, and I’m still getting to know them. But when almost random strangers are there for you over the friends you see on an almost regular basis, something is very wrong with that. I love my friends, and I would do anything for them, and they don't do that for me… I’m starting to see, that to some of them (and not all) I am indeed becoming a “friend of convenience."
I'm tired of giving my all for nothing.
I'm tired of concentrating all my energy on (forgive me for my wording but for lack of a better word) useless people.
I'm tired of doing anything and everything in my power to make your days better…
And that is why I am stopping.
If you want my friendship? Show it!!!
If you want anything from me? Earn it!!!
You want my trust or respect? You Need to be more then a "sometimes friend" I would Never do that to you!!!
So it's time for a change... It's time for me to grow a back bone, and stand up for myself.
Because if I don't. No one will...
This journal has become something of a mess.
It's filled with drama, and anger, and depression.
Very few actual happy things have graced these pages...
I haven’t made up my mind yet...
But I'm considering erasing this journal, and starting a new one...
I'm not sure...
The reason I bring this up is addressed to the friends I’ve made on here…
I think I’m going to hold off on my decision until after I get a job, but I’m addressing you because, in my thinking I could change to a new one and say Find me Or tell you, which brings up another question...Do any of you really care? regardless of anything, it isn’t personal…
My reasons are justified in that:
A. I hate the user name, it’s spelled incorrectly.
B. I didn’t come up with it.
C. My Very gross and horrid EX. came up with it.
D. How better to make a fresh start then a new journal.
This was all part of my thinking yesterday…
Kinda like a new me… A new journal I dunno; it kinda makes sense to me…
Any who…
Everyone goes through there problems and everyone deals with them in there own ways…
I won’t be posting for a while, not until I sort something’s out in my head I will be back…
I just don't know when...
Later all…