[fic] Ricardian Vice, Ouran High School Host Club
now with 50% fewer economics refs! and 25% more punctuation.
this was originally supposed to be followed by something with a semblance of plot, but i gave up. no great loss there, mind.
Title: Ricardian Vice
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
"But though I hate to say this, you know, I'm not quite sure that his habit of sizing up each host club patron and graphically predicting how much they are likely to spend in the next month is-- well, a very gentlemanly way of behaving, is it?"
Haruhi was not quite sure how the conversation -- more of a monologue, since this was Tamaki -- had drifted towards a discussion of Kyouya's various shortcomings, in the absence of aforesaid host club member; but by the host club's standards, this barely qualified as surprising, let alone strange, so she decided it was not worth pondering.
"...and he has this rather depressing way of appraising ideas for activities. I mean, he really doesn't have to take out his calculator and all, does he?" Tamaki flung one hand out in appeal to the nearest member of his audience, who happened to be an unresponsive Mori.
"Kyouya-sempai's guilty of the Ricardian Vice," the twins said in bored unison.
Tamaki wheeled around, eyes wide with what was probably two-thirds genuine shock and one-third instinctive drama.
"The... Ricardian Vice? He-- but-- he never told me!" Tamaki paused in an appropriate attitude of noble bewilderment, before shaking his head slowly, the artistic gleam of tears in his eyes. "And to still work in a host club, despite that: such chivalry! such selflessness! O, but to think of Kyouya falling prey to the love that cannot speak its name-- "
"Tamaki-sempai," Haruhi said wearily, "do you ever pay attention in economics class?"
"Economics? I know that the commoner's life is never easy, Haruhi, but you cannot assign a monetary value to matters of the heart!"
"The Ricardian Vice, just so you know, is the practice--"
Tamaki gasped. "Haruhi, there's no need to get explicit!"
"--of basing policy decisions on abstract models rather than real-world evidence."
Tamaki stared.
"And not what you may have been imagining."
One of the twins -- Hikaru, probably -- snickered and muttered something about our lord's colourful imagination.
"So you mean that Kyouya isn't. Um. That he doesn't--"
"That, Tamaki-sempai, is an entirely different question."
and the requisite angsty coda:
(Different, but not necessarily unrelated. After all, Kyouya was far too familiar with the idea of opportunity cost; knew only too well what he might have to give up -- what they would all have to give up -- just for him to gain something else.)
this was originally supposed to be followed by something with a semblance of plot, but i gave up. no great loss there, mind.
Title: Ricardian Vice
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
"But though I hate to say this, you know, I'm not quite sure that his habit of sizing up each host club patron and graphically predicting how much they are likely to spend in the next month is-- well, a very gentlemanly way of behaving, is it?"
Haruhi was not quite sure how the conversation -- more of a monologue, since this was Tamaki -- had drifted towards a discussion of Kyouya's various shortcomings, in the absence of aforesaid host club member; but by the host club's standards, this barely qualified as surprising, let alone strange, so she decided it was not worth pondering.
"...and he has this rather depressing way of appraising ideas for activities. I mean, he really doesn't have to take out his calculator and all, does he?" Tamaki flung one hand out in appeal to the nearest member of his audience, who happened to be an unresponsive Mori.
"Kyouya-sempai's guilty of the Ricardian Vice," the twins said in bored unison.
Tamaki wheeled around, eyes wide with what was probably two-thirds genuine shock and one-third instinctive drama.
"The... Ricardian Vice? He-- but-- he never told me!" Tamaki paused in an appropriate attitude of noble bewilderment, before shaking his head slowly, the artistic gleam of tears in his eyes. "And to still work in a host club, despite that: such chivalry! such selflessness! O, but to think of Kyouya falling prey to the love that cannot speak its name-- "
"Tamaki-sempai," Haruhi said wearily, "do you ever pay attention in economics class?"
"Economics? I know that the commoner's life is never easy, Haruhi, but you cannot assign a monetary value to matters of the heart!"
"The Ricardian Vice, just so you know, is the practice--"
Tamaki gasped. "Haruhi, there's no need to get explicit!"
"--of basing policy decisions on abstract models rather than real-world evidence."
Tamaki stared.
"And not what you may have been imagining."
One of the twins -- Hikaru, probably -- snickered and muttered something about our lord's colourful imagination.
"So you mean that Kyouya isn't. Um. That he doesn't--"
"That, Tamaki-sempai, is an entirely different question."
and the requisite angsty coda:
(Different, but not necessarily unrelated. After all, Kyouya was far too familiar with the idea of opportunity cost; knew only too well what he might have to give up -- what they would all have to give up -- just for him to gain something else.)