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[ambrozia]

This is going to be very difficult for me to put into words.  There may be some confusion, non linear thinking as I need to get things out.  I apologize fo that, but then again, this is my journal and you are reading it

Comments

[the_giaour]

FYI- I've been GTL (gone too long).
WTF is CMT?

Just call me stoopid but count me here if you need me.
Yes, there's been precious little contact.
Let's change that.

[ambrozia]

I've been around, just lurking in the shadows.

CMT is Charcot Marie Tooth. It is a genetic neropaty. Nigel's parents do not have it, so it appears it was unknown or most likely a random mutation.

It is genetic and herditary. We have done various DNA and genetic testing to clarify exactly what type and what chromasome is effected. In essance, we know that if we get to the point of having children, we will have to do prenatal diagnostics - most likely IVF and then check the embryo. It's stressful.

Nigel is mostly effected in his lower legs. He does have some stiffness in his wrists. He also gets tired very quickly. It's worrysome for him and I think he is affraid of what will happen if the desease gets worse later in life.

There are other issues too... not just CMT.

Thanks for being there G. I really do appreciate it and yes, it has been too long. I know you have always been a good listener to others.

[elixxir]

Pretty much no one I know if mentally sound babe, the question is do you rise above or continue to let it rule you? I don't really know what to say after so many years not in each other's lives and so many offers to get together that never materialized. I don't hold you any ill will, but after so long I'm not sure we know each other anymore? My gawd I've been married 6 years now. How crazy is that??

[ambrozia]

I realize that. That's the thing, nothing ever materialized. There is always talk and offers, but no further action was ever taken by me or by you. I didn't know when, where or how. It was hard for me to take the initiative and ask. I did try with going to Dance Cave more often, but I couldn't keep that up all the time.

In any case, yeah, I know you've been married 6 years now. I am relly happy that you have found someone that gets you and respects you and wants to be with you. You've made some great kids from what I read and saw years ago. I do really think you are great and enjoy reading your journals and wished I would have made more of an effort. I mean, I never really truely got to know you. I was always sort of on the edge of things so to speak.

I'm trying my best here and that is all I can do.