[Fic] When A Man Loves (And Unloves); Part 6
Title: When A Man Loves (And Unloves)
Pairing(s): Mijoon/Ddol Yi (Jaebum/Jinyoung)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama AU/Romance
Synopsis: Semi AU based off of When A Man Loves, where Ddol Yi finds his red string of fate with Mijoon straining.
A/N: Truly once in a blue moon, as I dig up this doc from the attic.
“I don’t want you to end up like my sister,” Mijoon says, cupping his hands around the porcelain mug. The tea was a bit too strong for his liking, but he figured that the bitter aftertaste was better than suffering from gangrene. “I won’t,” Ddol Yi replies. He reckons that he won’t ever be as extreme as the older female-nor as weak. He won’t give out his heart for money-he’s selling his soul out for Seo Mijoon. Besides, there’s not enough ill-fated romances in this world for some rich company heir to become infatuated with himself. The Seo family has all the luck in the word though and Ddol Yi stops himself from thinking of the way that Jaehee (and Eun-ae) looks at Mijoon.
“You don’t need to protect me,” Mijoon reaffirms.
“I don’t need you to protect me either.”
“I want to care for you.”
“Care for yourself, first.” Ddol Yi is testing the waters, and he wonders if one of them will take up and leave like every other time they prance around the subject. Mijoon sets the mug down on the table. “I am.” He says rather adamantly.
“You aren’t.” Ddol Yi corrects, “You’re not living for yourself.”
“I don’t have to.” Mijoon continues staring at the bottom of his now-empty mug, shoulders tense and voice harsh. “Then do it for me? I don’t want you to associate yourself with all of the whole self-sacrificing bullshit. It’s not worth it!” Ddol Yi replies promptly, hand gestures increasingly expressive as with the volume of his voice.
“Don’t I get to decide if it’s worth it or not!?” Mijoon shouts back, knuckles white against the handle of the mug. “I’m not selling drugs or joining a gang, Ddol Yi. I’m just choosing another career path. And it’s not like I completely abhor it-that’s why I chose it in the first place.”
“You’re going to be an idol! Where you pour your heart, soul, and health, breaking bones behind cameras and no one actually gives a shit except for the mere three minutes onstage!” Ddol Yi is yelling at this point, hands trembling with rage. “Nothing you do is ever enough, and you already know it. They’re placing you in shackles and chains-you’re losing your freedom for what? Money? You guys are in debt-but you’re not homeless and you’re not on the complete bottom of the social strata. It’s not worth it.” Ddol Yi scoffs, laughs until his voice is hoarse and breaking. “You don’t deserve to live like that.” He mutters.
Seo Mijoon is his greater good and Ddol Yi abhors the fact that he’s forcing himself into a mould to help others. He’s binding his bones and flesh into mutated ways and Ddol Yi feels as if it was his heart that was being constricted. He doesn’t register the fact that he’s crying until Mijoon steps around the table to pull him closer, fingers wiping at the tears on his cheeks. “I just want you to be happy.” Ddol Yi cries into Mijoon’s chest, legs losing strength as he falls to the floor.
“I am happy. I have you.”
It’s Mijoon who confesses first, in the middle of the freezing winter night. They’re both huddled underneath the thick blanket that Mijoon’s mother had set out for them. It was the coldest winter Seoul has had in the last ten years and the older male refused to let Ddol Yi alone in his apartment with the icy drafts.
“I like you, Ddol Yi.” was what he said as the clock struck midnight. Ddol Yi feels like he’s Aschenputtel, magic fading off as the gold turns back to oxidized iron. He’s in rags again, but Mijoon doesn’t care-still loves him despite the soot and tatters.
He smiles back, choosing not to voice his reply in fear of the instability that might be heard from his words. He doesn’t tell Mijoon how he feels so utterly grateful-but also utterly undeserving of a Prince Charming.
He wonders if he’s stepped into the wrong fairytale, and whether he was actually The Little Merman-fated to disappear into seafoam because his love wasn’t reciprocated. Despite all the pain of ripping scales off for actual legs, and vocal chords torn out-the prince doesn’t love him back. He wonders if the Seo Mijoon in front of his eyes is another mirage.
“Then why aren’t I happy?” He whispers.
Mijoon doesn’t answer him; but, both Ddol Yi and Mijoon know that it’s because life is only temporary. Mijoon knows he won’t have Ddol Yi forever. (Ddol Yi knows that Mijoon can’t stay either.)
Ddol Yi also knows that he is the stain in Mijoon’s life.
Pairing(s): Mijoon/Ddol Yi (Jaebum/Jinyoung)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama AU/Romance
Synopsis: Semi AU based off of When A Man Loves, where Ddol Yi finds his red string of fate with Mijoon straining.
A/N: Truly once in a blue moon, as I dig up this doc from the attic.
“I don’t want you to end up like my sister,” Mijoon says, cupping his hands around the porcelain mug. The tea was a bit too strong for his liking, but he figured that the bitter aftertaste was better than suffering from gangrene. “I won’t,” Ddol Yi replies. He reckons that he won’t ever be as extreme as the older female-nor as weak. He won’t give out his heart for money-he’s selling his soul out for Seo Mijoon. Besides, there’s not enough ill-fated romances in this world for some rich company heir to become infatuated with himself. The Seo family has all the luck in the word though and Ddol Yi stops himself from thinking of the way that Jaehee (and Eun-ae) looks at Mijoon.
“You don’t need to protect me,” Mijoon reaffirms.
“I don’t need you to protect me either.”
“I want to care for you.”
“Care for yourself, first.” Ddol Yi is testing the waters, and he wonders if one of them will take up and leave like every other time they prance around the subject. Mijoon sets the mug down on the table. “I am.” He says rather adamantly.
“You aren’t.” Ddol Yi corrects, “You’re not living for yourself.”
“I don’t have to.” Mijoon continues staring at the bottom of his now-empty mug, shoulders tense and voice harsh. “Then do it for me? I don’t want you to associate yourself with all of the whole self-sacrificing bullshit. It’s not worth it!” Ddol Yi replies promptly, hand gestures increasingly expressive as with the volume of his voice.
“Don’t I get to decide if it’s worth it or not!?” Mijoon shouts back, knuckles white against the handle of the mug. “I’m not selling drugs or joining a gang, Ddol Yi. I’m just choosing another career path. And it’s not like I completely abhor it-that’s why I chose it in the first place.”
“You’re going to be an idol! Where you pour your heart, soul, and health, breaking bones behind cameras and no one actually gives a shit except for the mere three minutes onstage!” Ddol Yi is yelling at this point, hands trembling with rage. “Nothing you do is ever enough, and you already know it. They’re placing you in shackles and chains-you’re losing your freedom for what? Money? You guys are in debt-but you’re not homeless and you’re not on the complete bottom of the social strata. It’s not worth it.” Ddol Yi scoffs, laughs until his voice is hoarse and breaking. “You don’t deserve to live like that.” He mutters.
Seo Mijoon is his greater good and Ddol Yi abhors the fact that he’s forcing himself into a mould to help others. He’s binding his bones and flesh into mutated ways and Ddol Yi feels as if it was his heart that was being constricted. He doesn’t register the fact that he’s crying until Mijoon steps around the table to pull him closer, fingers wiping at the tears on his cheeks. “I just want you to be happy.” Ddol Yi cries into Mijoon’s chest, legs losing strength as he falls to the floor.
“I am happy. I have you.”
It’s Mijoon who confesses first, in the middle of the freezing winter night. They’re both huddled underneath the thick blanket that Mijoon’s mother had set out for them. It was the coldest winter Seoul has had in the last ten years and the older male refused to let Ddol Yi alone in his apartment with the icy drafts.
“I like you, Ddol Yi.” was what he said as the clock struck midnight. Ddol Yi feels like he’s Aschenputtel, magic fading off as the gold turns back to oxidized iron. He’s in rags again, but Mijoon doesn’t care-still loves him despite the soot and tatters.
He smiles back, choosing not to voice his reply in fear of the instability that might be heard from his words. He doesn’t tell Mijoon how he feels so utterly grateful-but also utterly undeserving of a Prince Charming.
He wonders if he’s stepped into the wrong fairytale, and whether he was actually The Little Merman-fated to disappear into seafoam because his love wasn’t reciprocated. Despite all the pain of ripping scales off for actual legs, and vocal chords torn out-the prince doesn’t love him back. He wonders if the Seo Mijoon in front of his eyes is another mirage.
“Then why aren’t I happy?” He whispers.
Mijoon doesn’t answer him; but, both Ddol Yi and Mijoon know that it’s because life is only temporary. Mijoon knows he won’t have Ddol Yi forever. (Ddol Yi knows that Mijoon can’t stay either.)
Ddol Yi also knows that he is the stain in Mijoon’s life.