If Yesterday Was Never There and Tomorrow Never Comes Chapter 3
"What the hell are you doing?" Dean cries out.
"I'm getting us out of here," Sam tells him. "I don't wanna stay here forever."
Sam pushes the door open and cautiously peers out; he almost jumps when Dean puts his hand on Sam's shoulder.
"What did you do that for?"
Sam pushes the door open a little further and steps out. He checks around the small parking lot where there's an old car with a smashed windscreen but he can't see anything else.
"Well, what's out there?" Dean asks.
"Nothing, I think it's safe to go this way," Sam tells him. "We need to go now."
The three of them step out into the parking lot and the first thing Dean sees is the car.
"You think that piece of crap still works?"
"Really, that's what you're worried about?" Sam asks.
"It's safer than us walking back seeing as the damn car blew up," Dean points out.
He walks over to the car and pulls the door open. There are no keys, of course, but he quickly brushes the glass off of the seat and climbs in. He pulls a small nail-like object from his pocket and sticks it into the ignition.
"When do you think this was last used?" Jo asks. "Looks like it could be rusted to the spot."
"Guess we'll find out in a second," Dean replies.
Sam and Jo climb into the car and wait anxiously for it to start.
Dean spends a few minutes trying to get the car started; when it fails to do so he becomes frustrated and pounds the steering wheel with his fists.
"Keep trying, damn it," Jo says. "Get it going, now!"
"What the hell is your problem?" Dean spits back. "I'm doing the best I can."
"No, seriously Dean get the damn car started, right now!" Jo shouts at him. "Now!"
Dean glances up and stares out of the gaping hole in the windscreen. There are at least ten Walkers and they're all headed towards the car.
"Dean, get us out of here!"
"I'm trying," Dean hisses at them.
The car finally starts to make some noise but still doesn't move and now Jo is screaming from the backseat because the Walkers have now surrounded the car and they're scratching and pushing at the already damaged glass.
"Dean!"
Sam turns in the seat to see Jo trying to fight off a Walker who has stuck his hand through the smashed window and is trying to grab at her.
Sam pulls the gun from his waistband and aims it at the Walker. He knows that there is no time to waste so he pulls the trigger, the remaining glass shatters around Jo and the bullet hits the Walker in the stomach and he stumbles to the ground.
But that doesn't stop another half dozen of them from trying to take its place. The car is completely surrounded now and the car is rocking back and forth from their determination to get to them.
Finally the roar of the engine fills the small space of the car. Sam can hear Jo's sigh of relief and it's mixed with his own.
Dean struggles to drive through the horde of Walkers; he knocks them to the ground and even runs one over, creating a sick feeling in his stomach.
"How much gas you think it has?" Jo asks.
She's wrapped her arms around herself, not because of the cold but because she feels sickened by the whole experience.
"Hopefully enough to get us back, but I doubt it," he tells them. "So you better be prepared to make a run for it."
They get out onto the main road and aren’t really surprised to see that even more Walkers have appeared. If they had stayed in that store, things could have ended really badly.
They only make it to the end of the road before the car starts to slow down. Dean pushes it as far as it will go and they barely make it through the intersection before it stops dead.
"Seriously?" Dean cries out. "That's as far it goes?"
"Run for it then?" Jo says before pushing open the door.
The other two quickly follow her and they start running down the street. There are a few Walkers scattered around but none that really pose a threat as the three of them run as fast as they can down the street.
Jo is a lot quicker than Dean would have given her credit for and she runs ahead of them. They soon reach the car they had originally driven here but the engine had blown up before they could get any further and they knew that they would have to walk back to the house which could take them the rest of the day and it was a risk but there was no other choice.
Jo is the first one to stop. She is exhausted and really needs to take a few minutes to catch her breath.
She sits down on the side of the road and rests her head on her knees. They had been walking for about two hours now and it was at least another four or so before they made it back to the house.
"We really shouldn't stop," Sam tells her. "I know you're tired but we can't stay here."
Jo looks up at him. "Bite me. I need to take a minute here, I don't care if you think it's safe or not."
"Don't forget that it was your idea to come out here."
Jo glares at Dean. "We've already been over this; you drove, your fault."
Sam takes a seat next to Jo.
"How does that work?" Dean replies. "You would have gotten yourself killed if you'd come here on your own."
"Does it even matter now?" Sam points out. "We didn't get what we came for."
"And whose fault is that?" Jo replies.
Sam stares back at her. "Excuse me, that was not my fault." He looks over at Dean.
"Don't look at me," Dean snaps at his brother.
"Whatever," Jo says. She stands up again and starts walking. "It's gonna be dark soon, we need to get back before then.
****
Ellen paces nervously back and forth in front of the window. She knows that it will be dark soon and the kids hadn't come back yet; they had already been gone for the better part of the day and she hadn't wanted them to go in the first place.
"I'm sure that they will be back soon," Bobby says as he walks into the room.
Ellen turns to look at him. She wants to believe that what he says is the truth but there's something different about it this time, she can feel it in her bones.
"I did offer my assistance today," Cas adds when he follows Bobby. "They claimed to not need it."
"You should know better than to listen to their stupid ideas," Ellen retorts. "You've known them for long enough now."
Cas stares back at her. "I do not know them as well as you."
Ellen shakes her head and turns back to the window. "If they're not back in two hours, I'm going to go and look for them."
Cas stands in the middle of the road. His eyes are closed and he tries to sense the brothers. His powers haven't been working correctly for some time now and that scares him just a little bit. He's never felt so helpless and his overall reason for even being here is to assist the Winchesters but he hasn’t been much help at all.
He turns back to look at the house; he knows that Ellen is preparing herself to go out there and find them. He wishes that she wouldn't. During the day was dangerous enough.
A light in the upstairs bedroom switches on and he can see Ellen moving around the room.
A few minutes later the room goes dark again and then not long after that Ellen appears outside. She's carrying a large duffle bag and she quickly places it into the backseat of the car.
"You coming or what?" She calls out to Cas.
He waits a moment before nodding back at her. "Yes, I will assist you." He walks over to the car and looks up at the house. "Will Bobby not be joining us?"
"No, he wants to stay here to protect the house," She tells him.
"That is wise; we do need a house to come back to," Cas says.
Ellen doesn't reply, she just climbs into the car and waits for Cas to get in.
"We have no direction in which to travel," Cas says. "How do you know which way they went?"
"I don't," Ellen replies. "That's part of the problem."
"Alright then, we need to be quick about this."
Ellen narrows her eyes at him and then starts the engine. "If we don't find them..."
"I trust that you know what you are doing," Cas tells her.
"Then you might be the only one," she answers.
****
"This is insane, we should be back by now," Sam sighs.
"Yeah well if Jo didn't stop all the time," Dean says.
"Bite me," Jo hisses at him. "I'm exhausted here."
"You're not the only one," Dean points out.
They've been walking again for another few hours at least and Jo was sure that they weren't that far away from the house but it felt like the further they walked, the further away they got.
A few minutes later, Jo stops again and Dean and Sam both sigh heavily. They just want to get home so they can sleep.
"What is it now?" Dean asks.
"Did you hear that?" Jo replies. "Because I sure as hell did."
The three of them stand there and stare out into the darkness. They can barely see a few feet in front of them and now they can't hear a single noise.
"Are you sure that you heard something?" Sam asks her.
Jo nods back at him. "Yes, I'm sure."
"What did you hear exactly?"
Jo draws in a deep breath to try and calm her nerves. "I'm not really sure how to describe it, but it was there and it sounded close."
They take another look around but still can't see anything.
"Okay, this is starting to creep me out, we need to keep going," Sam says.
"Oh yeah, I second that," Jo replies.
They start walking again but don't get very far when this time all three of them hear it.
A low growling sound followed by what sounds like something being dragged across the ground.
Jo takes a step back and raises her gun. She's absolutely terrified and her shaking hands give proof of that.
The brothers raise their own guns and they spin around trying to find whatever had made the noise.
"This is freaking me the hell out," Jo says barely above a whisper.
The sound echoes around them again and this time it sounds like its right beside them.
Sam can feel a cold shiver run down his spine and he wants to just run, but given the darkness he has no idea what he'd be running towards.
Jo goes to take a step closer to Sam but just as she's about to move, she can feel something grabbing at her. She lets out an ear piercing scream and Sam instantly reaches out for her.
Dean still can't see what it is that has grabbed Jo. He obviously knows it’s a Walker but he can't see the damn thing.
Sam has both Jo's hands in his and is pulling her towards him but the Walker that has grabbed her is bloody strong.
"Dean do something, I can't hold on much longer!" Sam cries out.
Dean moves around Sam but he still can't see a damn thing. Jo is still screaming but she finally manages to break the hold on her and she stumbles forward almost knocking Sam over. He barely moves out of the way before a hand reaches out and tries to grab at Jo again.
"Shoot the son of a bitch, Dean!"
Dean aims his gun and pulls the trigger. A series of bullets ricochet off the ground before he finally hits the target. The hand lets go of Jo and she quickly rolls out of the way.
Sam pulls himself to his feet and grabs his gun. He knows that Dean has already killed the Walker but he fears that there are more; if there's one there's usually more that follow.
Dean helps Jo up and the three of them form a triangle, their backs to each other as they prepare for more attacks.
"What are we supposed to do?" Jo asks. “We can’t defend ourselves in the dark like this for very long.”
"I say we just make a run for it," Dean says. "I don't wanna stay here another second."
Jo draws in a deep breath and nods back at him. "I'm good with that."
Sam nods his agreement. "On the count of three.”
Sam counts down and then the three of them take off running as fast as they can. They cover a fair distance before they all need to stop before exhaustion once again sets in.
"This isn't working," Dean says. "We need to find a car, or something."
"You think?" Jo snaps at him.
"There aren't exactly a ton of cars just lying around," Sam replies. "It's dark as hell and you have seen what I've seen."
Jo sucks in a deep breath and nods back at him. "I know that so what the hell are we going to do?"
The three of them stare out into the darkness. They can't hear or see them but they know that there are Walkers close by.
****
"We have to be reasonable about this," Cas tells her. "There is a good chance that we will not be able to find them."
Ellen sighs heavily. "Would you shut the hell up?"
Cas stares at her. He understands that she is angry and worried about the kids but he can't understand why she won't see sense in this situation.
They finally reach the bridge leading into town. Ellen hadn't exactly kept to the speed limit and they had made it there in record time.
"There are numerous places that they could be holed up in," Cas says. "I would not know where to begin."
Ellen rolls her eyes and keeps driving.
It's hard to see in the pitch black since the headlights of the car illuminate just a few feet in front of them.
It's so dark that she almost doesn't see it in time and she has to slam on the brakes. The car skids across the road and smashes into a lamp post.
The windscreen shatters, showering them with glass. Ellen takes most of the brunt of the force and she hits her head on the steering wheel, knocking her unconscious.
Cas ignores the broken glass around him and pushes open the door and climbs out of the car. The crash has shaken him a little but it's nothing that he can't handle.
Walking across the road he sees what it is that they almost crashed into. It was the car that the kids had taken earlier that day.
Turning back to the other car, he sees that Ellen is still in the front seat so he makes his way over and helps her out.
She’s still unconscious and that concerns him. So much has already gone wrong today and he is unsure of what else may occur. They need to find the kids and make it back to the safety of the house as soon as possible.
****
Jo is the first one to pull the trigger; she hits the closest Walker and he drops to the ground. But it doesn't stop the six other Walkers from rushing towards her.
Their appearance makes her sick to the stomach but she can't let anything take her focus away right now. She has to fight back; she has to keep pulling the trigger.
She can hear Dean cursing to himself as he has to stop and reload his gun. They're running seriously low on ammo and they know that they're also running out of options.
"Sam!" She shouts. "Look out!"
Sam spins around just in time to avoid being grabbed by a Walker. It used to be a man, around his own age he guesses, and now his face is all torn and rotted, his clothes hang from his body and his bony fingers reach out trying to grab at him again.
Sam pulls the trigger and hits the Walker in the head. It drops to the ground and the ones behind it stumble as they try to make their way towards Sam.
Dean has reloaded his gun and is shooting at one after another but it’s not enough, there are too many of them.
"We have to run," Dean tells them. "I can't hold them off much longer."
Sam nods back at him and turns to look at Jo. She's taken a moment to catch her breath and Sam wants to yell at her for dropping her gun to her side.
A moment later she's again shooting at the nearest Walkers and they fall to the ground but are quickly replaced by more.
She takes a step closer to Sam and all he can do is watch in horror at what occurs next.
It all happens so fast that he doesn't have time to react. He knows that if he takes the shot, he might be killing her as well.
"Dean!" He cries out and Dean instantly spins to face them.
His eyes grow wide at what he sees.
A Walker has managed to sneak up behind her and has grabbed her by the shoulders, his rotted teeth are firmly planted in the side of Jo’s neck and she’s screaming so loud that both Sam and Dean know that that sound will haunt them for the rest of their lives.
Sam can’t move; he’s frozen in place at the horror unfolding before him and he wants to do something, of course, but his heart is breaking right now and he knows that things will never be the same.
Dean rushes forward and tries to shoot the Walker but Jo is blocking him, her screams echo around them as the blood starts to pour down her shoulder.
Dean is a little surprised when she calms down a little as the realization of it all hits her. This is it for Jo, she understands that there is nothing that can be done to save her and despite being afraid to die she’s also ready for it be over with.
"You have to kill me," she barely manages to get out.
Sam closes his eyes. He can feel the hot sting of tears burning his cheek. It was the one thing that he never wanted any of them to hear, this shouldn’t be happening but yet it was and there was nothing that any of them could do to stop it.
A gunshot echoes around him and he opens his eyes. The Walker that had bitten her was no longer there and Jo was starting to weaken at the knees.
They both rush forward but they are not quick enough; another Walker has grabbed hold of her and is pulling her backwards.
They have no idea how many more there are but they need to do something, they keep moving, shooting at the flashes of clothing and rotted flesh that they manage to see.
A few moments later they take another step forward and Sam instantly feels sick to the stomach. There are at least five Walkers all dead on the ground, their hands still clutching at Jo’s arms and legs and she’s lying there on her back unable to move.
The gurgling sound coming from her makes both brothers want to throw up; she’s in such a bad way now that she’s choking on her own blood.
They fall down beside her, pushing away the rotting corpses.
Dean reaches over and cups her cheeks with his hands and makes her look at him. Tears burn his eyes because he knows that she may only have a few minutes left.
“I am so sorry, Jo. I’m so sorry.”
She tries to say something but it comes out as nothing more than a strangled groan.
Sam watches as Dean leans down and whispers something to Jo. He isn’t sure what it is that he’s said and he’s not sure that he wants to know, he already feels heartbroken, he can’t believe that this is happening.
He doesn’t want it to be real.
Sucking in a deep breath he glances over his shoulder when he hears the grumbling sound of Walkers getting closer.
“Dean.”
“I know, Sammy,” Dean says looking up at him.
They both stand up and raise their guns. Sam shoots at a Walker he can barely see in the darkness while Dean also fires his gun just not at the thing that Sam thought he’d shoot at.
When he looks back at Jo there is a bullet hole in her skull and Sam knows for sure now that he will never quite recover from this night.
There is no time to grieve right now though, no time to do anything but run.
Her death would be for nothing if they too lost their lives this night.
They lost a member of their family tonight and that was never okay but they knew that it couldn’t be undone.
****
Cas tries to wake Ellen up. He knows that she is still alive but just barely. He wasn't really sure that he understood what had happened. The crash had been severe but it shouldn't have caused Ellen such injury that she should be unconscious for this long.
He tries to rouse her again but he's suddenly hit with this strange feeling that something has happened and it isn’t to Ellen.
He feels sick to the stomach like someone has knocked the wind out of him and it lasts a few seconds before he stumbles backwards landing on the sidewalk.
It's only after that that Ellen finally wakes up. She instantly raises her hand to her head where there is a small cut and she can feel the stickiness of blood on her skin.
"What the hell happened?"
Cas pulls himself to his feet and moves back to her side.
"It appears that we almost crashed into the kid’s car but then we did crash into that pole right there."
Ellen sits up and can see the car is now wrecked. "Does it still go?"
"I am not sure of that."
"Help me up," Ellen says.
Cas helps her back to the car and puts her in the passenger seat.
"What are you doing?" She wants to know. "You don't drive."
"I have never tried before but you are in no condition to," he tells her.
Ellen wants to argue with him but she really doesn't have the strength to do so right now.
Cas gets in behind the wheel and starts the engine. The car doesn't seem to be too damaged and it should get them back to the house alright.
He struggles to begin with but despite the darkness around them he manages to drive alright without another crash.
"We can't go back yet, we have to find the kids, and I need to know that Jo is alright," Ellen says.
Cas remembers the feeling he had back at the crash site. He still doesn't understand what it means but can't shake the uneasy feeling he has.
"We will keep an eye out for them of course," Cas says. "They could already be back at the house."
Ellen closes her eyes and sinks further into the seat. She is desperate to find her daughter; she should never have let her go out like that to begin with.
****
Sam collapses to his knees in the grass. He's exhausted physically and mentally and he still can't believe what had just happened.
It was never supposed to be like this; it was supposed to be a routine trip to a neighboring town for supplies. They knew the risks that could come with that and those risks were high but they never imagined that this would be the ending to their night.
It was their job to protect her and they had failed. They had failed Jo and now she was gone.
She was gone and she was never going to come back.
Sam knows that Dean will carry that guilt with him for the rest of his life. He had been the one to pull the trigger; he had shot her in the head.
Sam understands that it was a kinder and faster fate than being ripped to shreds by those sons of bitches but she was their family, like a sister to them.
Dean moves up beside his brother and places his hand on his shoulder. "I know that this damn well sucks but we need to keep going, Sammy. We're almost there."
Sam knows that they are just a few miles from the house and he wants nothing more than to be back there where it’s safe but he also feels like he can't go back. How is he supposed to tell them what happened?
"Sam, we need to go," Dean urges him.
He pulls Sam to his feet and almost has to drag him. They stop again a moment later when Dean literally slaps Sam back into focus.
"We don't have time for this, Sammy, we can deal with it when we get back to the house."
Sam nods back at him and they continuing walking.
"Dean."
"Yeah, what is it?"
"What are we supposed to tell them?" Sam says. "How do we tell them that we let Jo get killed?"
"We didn't let her get killed," Dean replies. "That's not what happened and you know it."
Sam stops and turns to look at him. "It doesn't matter how it happened, Dean, we were supposed to be protecting her, and it was our job to make sure that she came home."
"Sam, this wasn't our fault, we didn't know that this was going to happen and we couldn't have stopped it; we did all that we could."
"And it wasn't enough," Sam tells him. "Dean, how are you so okay with this? Jo is dead."
Dean closes his eyes and sucks in a sharp breath. "I'm not okay with this, Sammy. I feel like I can't breathe right now, we've already lost so much and this is too soon, it hasn't been that long since we lost Dad and I'm not okay with that; I'm not."
"What are we supposed to do, Dean?"
Dean pulls his brother into an embrace. "I don't know, Sammy, I really don't know."
****
Cas pulls the car into the driveway and has to slam the brakes on to avoid driving right through the garage. He quickly helps Ellen out of the car and into the house.
Bobby appears a moment later and Cas can tell in an instant that something is wrong because it’s clear that Bobby has been crying and it would have to be something major to bring tears to his eyes.
He places Ellen down onto the sofa and looks up at Bobby. "What's wrong?"
Bobby doesn't say anything yet. He moves around the sofa and sits down on the coffee table looking at Ellen.
She's holding a piece of her shirt that she tore off to stop the blood. She knows deep down that she doesn't really need him to say anything; she knows that something has happened.
"Bobby, this silence is making me feel uneasy," Cas says. "Please tell me what happened."
He looks from Ellen to Cas and back again. "I'm so sorry, Ellen; I'm so sorry."
"Where are the boys?" She asks. "Where are they?"
"They're upstairs getting cleaned up. Ellen, this was no one's fault."
She nods back at him. "I'm sure it's not."
"I don't understand," Cas says. "If they are upstairs, where is Jo?"
They both look up at him, Bobby looks on the verge of tears again while Ellen lets hers flow freely.
"Jo's gone," Bobby tells him. "She died a few hours ago."
"That cannot be true," Cas replies.
"It's true," Ellen replies. "My daughter is dead."
Chapter 4