If Tomorrow Never Comes and Yesterday Was Never There Epilogue Part 2
EPILOGUE
Near The House That Built Me
There had been moments in his life where he had dreamed about this, about having a normal life with a normal family.
He was only four years old when this all started and he only had a couple of vague memories of his mother but it never stopped him from imagining what his life could have been like.
Dean knows though, that for Sam, it’s a completely different feeling.
Sam had only been six months old when they had lost their mother. Sure, he had seen a few photographs but he had no memory of her voice or her laughter and Dean felt almost guilty about that.
Now though, things really were going to be different. After nearly thirty years they had discovered that their mother wasn’t lost to them completely.
From the little information that Ellen had told them, Mary hadn’t in fact been turned by the virus. She couldn’t explain why; all she knew was that she had found her in Florence, Missouri which was about two and half hours away.
They had left Lawrence around midday and Dean was expecting them to arrive in Florence in about forty minutes.
“You have to explain something to me,” Dean says. “Where exactly is she, because from what you said, it sounded like she was on her own?”
“I found her in an old farmhouse on the outskirts of the town; it looked like she had been there for quite a while and yeah, she was on her own.”
“I don’t understand,” Sam says. “If she has the virus, why didn’t she turn into a Walker?”
Ellen shrugs her shoulders. “I’m sorry, Sam, I wish that I could answer that for you, but I really have no idea. When I found her, I thought that maybe I was going insane because I believed that she was dead; we all did.”
“So is she okay?” Sam asks. “I mean if she’s not a Walker, then she’s all right, right?”
Ellen didn’t really know how to answer that either. Given the world that they lived in, were any of them actually okay?
“She’s different,” Ellen tells them. “And that is completely understandable. I don’t even want to imagine what she’s been through but you have to remember that she’s not the same woman that we knew.”
“Was she coherent though?” Bobby wants to know. “Did she recognize you at all?”
“She was coherent enough and I think after a while she was just pretending that she knew who I was, but I’m not really sure.”
“Do you think that Dad had any idea that she wasn’t dead?” Sam wonders. “Because if he knew…”
“I don’t think that he knew,” Bobby replies. “When he left the house that night, he thought that it would be the last time that he would ever see her.”
John places Sam down onto the bed and then turns to look at Dean who is sitting on the floor playing with the fire truck that he had gotten for his fourth birthday.
He wondered if Dean understood what was happening. Maybe all he knew was that something had happened to his mother but he had no idea what that thing was.
John preferred it that way; he didn’t want either of his boys to ever know what had happened to Mary. He didn’t understand it himself. One moment Mary had been perfectly normal, the next she was trying to attack him. It was like she was crazed and that terrified him.
Sucking in a deep breath he moves across the room and sits down next to Dean.
“Hey, buddy, what are you doing?”
Dean holds up the toy truck and smiles up at his Dad.
“Are you hungry?” John asks. “I don’t know what we could have, but I’m sure I can find something.”
Dean nods back at him. “Okay, Dad. Can we have sghetti?”
John can’t help but laugh at his son’s mispronunciation of the word spaghetti. “Yeah, we can have sghetti.”
John makes his way to the kitchenette and tips the contents of the shopping bag out onto the table. He’d made a stop at the supermarket on his way to the motel where he’d only had time to grab a few things, but knowing his son the way he did, he had made sure to grab a few cans of the spaghetti that Dean liked so much.
He glances up every so often to make sure that he can see Dean playing with the toy and to check that Sam is still asleep.
While he makes dinner for them, he can’t help but relive the last few moments of being at the house.
He doesn’t understand what happened to her and the way she had tried to attack him. He wanted answers; he wanted to know if she was alright, so he was going to wait until the next morning before going back to the house.
He’s pulled from his memories when he hears Sam crying and he looks up to see Dean sitting on the bed beside his baby brother.
“It’s okay, Sammy. Don’t cry,” Dean whispers to him.
John feels his heart break all over again. His boys were too young for this; to lose their mother. If there really was something wrong with Mary, he wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to deal with that.
It’s barely 7am when John pulls the car into the driveway; he notices straight away that the front door is still wide open. He hopes that means that Mary is still there, that she’s been waiting all night for them to come home.
His gut tells him that he shouldn’t get his hopes up though.
He gets out of the car and opens the door for Dean to get out and then reaches in to get Sam.
“Dean, just be careful okay? Wait for me by the door.”
Dean stops at the door and John can see him peering inside.
Sucking in a deep breath, he walks up the front steps and stands in the doorway, patting Dean on the back before they both walk inside and he starts calling out for Mary.
There’s no answer though and John can feel his heart sink.
They make their way upstairs and John puts Sam into the crib and instructs Dean to wait there for him.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes okay, Dean? Don’t move from here. You need to watch your brother.”
“Okay, Dad,” Dean says as he turns around to look into the crib.
John quickly searches the house for any sign of his wife but he finds nothing more than a small pool of blood on the carpet in their bedroom.
He sits down on the end of the bed and closes his eyes. He knew it; he could feel it from the moment he left the house the previous night.
His wife was gone and he couldn’t explain why, but he knew that he would never see her again.
It takes them only one hour and forty seven minutes to arrive in Florence, Missouri. Dean hadn’t exactly kept to the speed limit but he knows that they are all grateful for that.
They exit the car and stand in the front yard staring up at the house. It looks a little tidier than Dean was expecting.
He just wants to get inside and see his mother, to finally get some of those answers that he so desperately wanted.
Dean pushes open the front door. He hesitates a moment before he steps into the room. Looking around he can tell that whoever had lived there before, they had obviously tried to pack up and leave. There were only a few pieces of furniture left, there were no pictures hanging on the walls and there was an odd smell about the place.
He glances over his shoulder when he hears Sam and Bobby walk up behind him.
“So, where do you think she is?” Sam asks.
He doesn’t have to wait long for an answer. A few moments later, she walks out from a room in the back and stands in the doorway.
“Mom?” Dean whispers.
He wants to run over to her, to hug her for the first time in thirty years but there is a hesitation there. Something holds him back.
He watches her as she studies them. He wants to believe that the look in her eyes is some sort of recognition but he knows that it’s not, not really.
“I’ll be damned,” Bobby says. “I never thought this day would actually happen.”
“I know you,” she replies. “Do I know you?”
She takes a step forward and Dean can feel his heart beat racing.
“Mom, you do know us, all of us,” Dean tells her. “It’s me; it’s Dean, your son.”
She shakes her head and then takes a step back. “No, I don’t know anyone. You’re not real. I’m not real.”
Dean looks over at Sam who has tears in his eyes and he can feel his heart breaking a little.
“I told you she was a little…off,” Ellen says.
Bobby turns to look at her and shakes his head.
“It doesn’t matter though, right? Because she’s alive,” Ellen adds. “It’s going to be okay now.”
Dean had spent the better part of two hours trying to talk to Mary, but she wasn’t making any sense at all. She just kept going on about how nothing was real and she was seeing things again.
Sam had kept his distance and Dean didn’t blame him for that. He didn’t have any memories of her and what he was seeing now just made his heart break.
“Mom, I need you to listen to me, okay.” Dean tells her.
Mary looks up at him. “I’m sorry, Dean. My head is all messed up and I can’t think straight.”
Dean sighs heavily. “It’s okay, Mom, don’t worry about it.”
“But I do worry about it,” she replies. “You’re my son and I hurt you.”
Dean looks over at her and narrows his eyes. “What did you just say? Do you remember that I’m your son?”
“Of course I remember,” she laughs. “What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t remember my own son?”
Dean doesn’t understand what’s happening; she is completely messed up and he is pretty sure that she doesn’t remember him so he doesn’t know why she would say that she did.
“Mom, it’s okay if you don’t remember us but I do need you to try and remember what happened to you. Do you know what’s going on out in the world?”
She leans across the table and smiles up at him. “I do remember you, you’re my son, Dean. But you’re not real.”
Dean squeezes his eyes shut and fights back the urge to scream. This was supposed to be simple, unlike the rest of their lives; they were supposed to find her and have everything be okay again.
“Mom, I need you to tell me what happened to you. Why are you like this because everyone else that has gotten this virus has turned into a Walker.”
She studies him for a moment and then shakes her head before getting up and walking out of the room.
Dean finds Sam and Bobby sitting out the back at an old picnic table. He isn’t really sure where they got the beer from; he could care less about that and without even saying anything, Sam holds one out to him.
“Thanks.”
“So how’s it going in there?” Bobby asks.
“Not good,” Dean replies. “She’s lost her mind and is making no sense at all. She claims to remember that I’m her son, but I don’t believe her.”
“What are we supposed to do then?” Sam wants to know.
Dean sucks in a deep breath and shrugs his shoulders. “I dunno, Sammy, I really don’t.”
“She does not remember what happened to her or why she is not like the others.”
They all look up to see Cas standing behind them.
“And I cannot find the answer in her.”
Dean and Sam share a confused look.
“Uh, what the hell does that mean?” Dean wants to know.
“It would appear that some of powers have returned, which I am pleased about,” Cas explains. “I suspect that it may have something to do with finding Mary Winchester.”
“Oh good, he’s talking crazy again,” Dean says. “You two would make a great pair.”
Cas ignores Dean’s comment and looks over at Sam and Bobby. “I cannot give you any answers as to why she is like this but is it not good news that she is alive and, for the most part, okay?”
“You call that okay?” Dean snaps at him. “She’s crazy.”
“She is your mother,” Cas says. “That should be enough for you.”
Dean shrugs his shoulders again. “I dunno. I guess it has to be.”
“If my powers continue to return to their normal capacity, I will try again for some answers for you, Dean, but until then I suggest that you make the best of the situation.”
“Thanks,” Dean retorts. “And how are we supposed to do that?”
Cas smiles back at him which makes Dean feel a little nervous. “Do you remember when we first met?”
“You have got to be kidding me,” Dean replies. “Where are you going with this?”
Cas turns around and points to where Mary and Ellen are standing by the back door. “It is time.”
Dean looks over at Sam. He knows that things are still up in the air concerning their mother but at least she is alive and they have her back. Wherever they may end up now, it didn’t matter as long as they were together.
He had to believe that everything would be okay; they had earned it, after all.
Dean looks back at Cas and nods. “Okay, fine. Let’s go.”
Sam stands up and moves next to his brother. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Of all the places we’ve had to hide out in our lifetime, I guess that one was the best. No Walkers; I’m good with that.”
“Yeah, me too,” Sam says.
A brilliant white light fills the space around them and Dean has to close his eyes. He knows that this will hurt a little, but hell it would be so worth it for a little peace and quiet.
When he opens his eyes again he’s standing in the main street. He takes a moment to regain his composure before he turns around at the sound of Sam’s voice.
“So, I guess this is home now,” Sam smiles at him.
Dean looks over to where Mary is standing. “Yeah, I guess so. I told you our story wasn’t over Sammy. We found that missing part of us and I think we’ll be okay now.”