Where did you learn how to be in a relationship?

[american_arcane]

Originally published at How to Crush Without Being Crushed. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[kittenofwrath]

I think the primary influence on my view on relationships (and learning what works for me in relationships) has come from trial and error. I've been in several long-term relationships since high school, and there were definitely moments near the end of each of those relationships where I realized, "Aha...that is something I definitely can't handle in the long run." Although it might have not been a *conscious* realization until months or years later, of course..

[reversedrising]

I realize that from the very beginning we have an idea of how we should be when we interact with others. And this is something that we have learned from our own family experiences; primarily our parents. But thank the gods that it doesn't stop there or chances are we'd all be various degrees of miserable, especially when coupling with people who have been raised in incredibly different ways than we have ourselves.

As for myself, it's been a long road of trial and error. If this obviously hasn't worked then I need to try to do Not This. Personal Experience has been my own greatest teacher. It continues to guide me clear of mistakes I've made before and toward successes that have colored my life in more positive ways.