and then... sometimes....i feel utterly useless

could someone please explain what's wrong with me? i'm upset/pissy for no reason that i can figure out... i don't want to hurt my love.... but i almost feel i'm doing that by being upset... my humor is gone.... bleh...
i just want it to stop

ok... so another reason to be angry... i'm mad cuz of getting hurt... software problems... etc...
but i recently read this and decided i should post in their guestbook... here's what i wrote...

I will first say that I am not Christian anymore for various reasons (and I'm finally comfortable with saying that to Christians ( Read more... )

my eyes were heavily watering a few minutes ago... and i'm feeling the need to just bawl at the moment... i was just watching some lifetime movie with my mom... about a 15 year old boy who got a girl pregnant, and did everything he could to make sure things happened right, and ended up keeping the baby... that stuff didn't make me wanna cry really ( Read more... )

ok... first real update here in a while....
i'll paste in what i wrote in my IAM journal... and then add to it... here's the journal entry from iam...
ya know... i heard something last night that really really pisses me off.... only one person knows what exactly it is, and that's cuz they told me ( Read more... )

oh ya... i forgot to say that i lost all the pictures of play piercings i did since i got my hypodermic needles.... pictures of about 25 piercings...
but.... luckily one of my friends in finland is able to help me out.... she has the pictures of the 1 piercing in my hand... the 6 in my nose... the 2 in my lips... and the 1 in my neck... so i'm

so nathan will be getting up in about an hour to go through a mad rush to pack the little that is remaining in his house.... and get on the road... they're hoping to get to their new house in new york sometime on monday ( Read more... )

well.... haven't updated this in a while..... but i'm quite proud of myself.... did something VERY risky last night...
although, i'm kindda upset that someone that i thought was my friend didn't give a shit to even find out what it was.....
bleh, anyways... i did this, along with 10 others (but none were quite as major as this)

Side view
Top view ( Read more... )

well... it's my birthday... well... not anymore... but as of less than an hour ago it was.....
and i'm no longer the leader of YMA
so i'm a little upset about that

everyone needs to watch TLC (the learning channel) tomorrow night at 10 PM eastern standard time.... that show will have footage from the july 1st bme bbq.... and they interviewed me for it... so there's a chance i'll be on tlc tomorrow.... so ya.... everyone watch....