I hate myself For you
umm today was just peachy....
yay for music and my guitar...which is fun to play..
umm im hungry and need food
tommarow i have drivers training o yippie
isuggest not reading this....i just needed to rant a little
Today was a bad day
just all together...i didn't get a single good thing out of today....
(Sry for the complaining)
i had drivers training yesturday and today, driving is realyl easy
i have it the next 3 weeks :( eww
but hey at least i will be able to drive then ....
im sorry if im really emotional latley i try to act like im not, sorry if i get all weird...(and no im not pmsing haha)
im gunna be bored the next couple days so if you wanna do something
let me know cuz im gunna explode
im sick of always feeling like im known as the ugly friend,,,i wish for once someone would actually think im beautiful..(sounds cheezy but god)
do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and be like why the fuck am i so fucking retarded and ugly!! damn!
it sucks knowing your not wanted by anyone.... and thinking in your head will anybody ever love me and then noticing No why the fuck would they want to me look at me...im pathetic
im also tired of having to cover up what im really feeling all the time, and pretending im ok , but then again somebody has to do it, people need people to talk to and usually its easier to talk to someone who is happy seeming
im sick of covering up my past with lies, i don't want to explain what actually happened, so i curve the story so no one will ask....
i feel so pathetic sometimes cuz i sit here and complain like this and wonder why things don't go good for me, Its life things Aren't supposed to go right...but i just wanna feel like im ok for once...
im sick of running after all these different things that i know are extreamly unreachabl, love, dreams, all this fucking crazy shit.....
i wonder, how many people hate me....i know the number is high...i just would like to know
im sick of always trying to find a easy way out of situations...or questioning...by saying im alright or saying just some stupid bullshit answer so i don't have to deal with talking about myself to them, and having them look at me like a fool, then talking about me to other people...or feeling weird around me
<3 silent alyssa
last of all im sick of smiling...