have you ever been at a point in your desperation for distraction that you find yourself looking at the same things over and over again because they get your mind off of bad things? that's what i'm doing. if i'm idle, i think of him. i get sad and feel regret. regret is such shit. regret only allows you to see the good things, even if you know that ( Read more... )

it's done. i'm done. i want to eat turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and brownies till i puke out my memories. i think it's possible so boo to you if you dont think so.

today sucks. it's been so hard holding back tears. why am i crying though? i know, i broke up with my boyfriend of 1.5+ years. why? because we're so incompatible and have been miserable for such a long time. it's about damn time that this has happened, but my heart is still broken. i still feel like i trampled on it myself. i cant blame myself ( Read more... )

so, it's been quite awhile since i've updated this journal. and how. why, you might ask, am i updating it now then? well, i'm bored and i'm waiting for a phone call that might not come... but who cares right? things are going pretty well in Amy and my apartment i might add. so much better than the dorms and 100% more food in the fridge. work and ( Read more... )

so i was studying, i finished a book that was assigned to us in women's studies. not too satisfying of an ending, but i guess i expect too much ( Read more... )

well, i've decided that i've been partying too much this week. i think it's almost been about every day for the past week actually. save for the day we went dancing. that was so fun! i hope we can go next week. we'll see. i'm pretty tired. at least i never got too drunk on any of those nights. i didn't drink as much as i usually do, which is ( Read more... )

ah, back at davis. it's nice, but i miss the sitting-around-doing-nothing aspect of sac. i'm loving my dig-cam up the wazoo though. it rocks my socks more than they can handle. watch out cotton ( Read more... )

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!! well, my new year's was awesome. i love that todd, boy i do. he's just so...well...superb. he's as content as me to sit and hang around with my sis, her b/f, her b/f's bro, and his own friend as i am. we just sat around drinking screwdrivers playing games. i got buzzed, but nothing more. i didn't need more either, thank god. todd ( Read more... )

and just when i fall into the deepest despair, something wonderful happens. todd's in redding right now, only a mere 2.5-3 hours away from me. he's on his way. of course he had to pull a prank when he called from redding, saying that he was still in burney and that they were snowed in from either side and would have to go home. then say, "i'm just ( Read more... )

well, i used to have great plans to bring in the new year, but they were destroyed twice. my first plan was to go up to my mom's house, todd and his friend would drive over, and we'd hang out with a few of my best friends; bowling, movie, drinking, and such. then, the snow storm hit and made it impossible for me to go up there. so, todd, in his ( Read more... )