Evanescence' Chapter 1
Hey guys, this chapter is more of hurt/comfort, and to really get into the mood, listen to “baby hold on” by Enrique Iglesias on youtube or something… Don’t worry, I believe that stories should all be based on “happily ever after”, and its gonna get really funny and non-serious (just the way I am, and you might be, too!) afterwards…
Please comment, it’ll make my day.
Enjoy. =)
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Adam’s POV
I opened the curtains of the large window covering one of the wall. The scenery outside was beautiful. It was all covered with the dazzling white layers of snow, everything sparkling in the sun. I headed back to the bed and sat down. Okay, so here goes nothing.
I opened my diary, and took out my pen. After mom and dad, this is the only best friend I have, the only one I can share myself too.
“First Day of my so-called holiday.
I know, I know, I should start with a date, but does it matter? Not really. So, anyways, here I am, basically in the middle of nowhere. The snow outside is great, and it’s really cooling me. I rented this small cabin for a while; Mrs Smith, the caretaker lives not very far away, and she told me that I could stay here as long as I wished. I am glad she did.
This cabin is not very big, a bedroom, a bathroom, a mini hall with an open kitchen, and a shaded porch outside. Perfect for a loner.
Yeah, yeah, I know I should be more positive, and I’m trying to be…but its difficult you know?”
I closed the diary.
“She bought a ticket to nowhere,
And she told me that she’s sick of this life.
She said “Don’t worry its alright.”
‘Cause she doesn’t wanna see me cry…”
I relaxed on the large, comfortable chair. And sighed. Sorry for my sluggish mood, people. Time for my formal introduction.
Hey, I’m Adam Lambert, heir and owner to the so-called great Lambert Empire. Dad passed away few years back, but I wasn’t that broken; I had mom with me. Life was great, really. Business was successful, and I was even finding out time for my hobbies, like music, which was very difficult with such a time schedule… And in any kinda stress, mom would help me out. She was my best friend, the best woman I’ve ever met. I loved her. She understood me, which is really difficult.
She accepted that I was gay. Yeah, so I’m not straight…you have any problem? I don’t care really; as mom said, I was born to express, not impress.
If you don’t understand my relation with mom, try to link it to that one friend you have/had/always wanted to have; the one who understands you, supports you, knows all your secrets, and you enjoyed the best times of your life with him/her. Now you get me?
Its just that…I’ve always been kinda anti-social. Mom said that I’m a great person once you get to know me, but getting close to me was difficult. It was as if I have wrapped myself up in a ball of darkness…So I didn’t have many best friends…Not friends really.
They were so mean. Every single person who called himself/herself my friend. I could do anything for them, anything, but all I got in return was betrayal, selfishness. What do they want from me? They broke me each time…I don’t believe on words like trust anymore.
I learnt how to live my life. I led my life. I was successful, and I had all I wanted. Not the successful multi-international empire worth billions…but my mom…
The most beautiful woman.
But then…maybe I had done something wrong, maybe because I wasn’t straight? Or maybe because luck has some personal problems with me?… And she was taken away from me…It was dreadful accident. I…I…don’t know…
When dad passed away, mom said that the better people were always called away soon because the angels were jealous as to why we humans get to enjoy the luxuries of heaven on earth.
Maybe that’s why I didn’t even see my grandparents. Maybe that’s why I lost Dad…Maybe that’s why they took away my best friend…
Mom, I miss you.
I wiped the tears that now seem to be an unstoppable stream. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
I know mom, you wouldn’t want me to cry…she never did, I thought, and a faint smile lingered on my face, just for a few seconds. But this really helps…now that I have no one to talk to.
I just need somebody to love, to talk to …I promise I would take care of him/her in anyway I can…
I am sick of this life. Its so hard to be strong. Its hard to smile…It pains…
I don’t wanna live really…But then, whenever I think of suicide, I see mom’s angry face. She says that she would never want me to do this. I see her, repeating the same thing she said before passing away. She said, she-
I sobbed, as more tears rolled down. She says that its all gonna be alright. I just need to hold on. She says she doesn’t wanna see me cry. She wants to know that I am beautiful, free of sin to her. Life has its ups and downs…And she will be waiting for me to introduce my husband to her…She said that I would be someone’s angel too…
And that’s when she had left me…
I was in a depression for a few weeks. Eating was a past memory…Just walking around, and doing my work in a trance.
And then, there was an angel in disguise. Somebody left me a voucher in my table. A holiday for soul searching, all alone in the snowy woods. It was signed anonymously, but I know its one of my P.A.s. How sweet. I would thank them when I get back.
So, now you know why a billionaire like me is in such a tiny cottage.
But, whatever you say. Its pretty comfortable. I know, I know, my thought are pretty messed up, right? Sorry for that.
Mom, trust me. I am gonna be strong. Be someone’s angel, just like you were to me.
“Oh, I wish that she could see,
How beautiful she is to me…
Oh…”
I felt a strange connection with this place. Not only had I felt amazing ever since I stepped into this area, but I felt protected. As if mom was watching me…I’d read an article where they said that spirits are closer and more powerful amidst nature…Maybe that’s why…
But apart from that, a strange feeling…Like someone’s watching me, or calling out for me…
Strange…
“Baby, baby hold on.
Oh, please don’t let go.
Baby, baby be strong…
So much you don’t know!”
Time for more confessions…Yeah, yeah…I know I’m a freak. If you don’t like me, leave me, like everyone else did.
Sorry for being so bitchy…I’m trying my best…I apologize again.
Its just that, I don’t feel cold. I mean, yeah, I use blankets and coats and all…But not for long. Its…I have this strange burning feeling…Too hot…And undying flame…I don’t use blankets at night…And here too, even though its snowy outside, I’m fine with a thin sheet. Yeah, when I go outside, I use coats…But that only happens with snow…When I’m near naturally cold things, like snow, my temperature is normal. But not inside. Air conditioners never satisfied me…Maybe that’s why I’m liking this place even more…
We, I mean mom and I, tried our best to find out what is it, but the doctors couldn’t list this as a disfunctioning. So here, I am, tolerating this inner heat…I am a freak, aint I?
But don’t worry, this doesn’t depress me…I’m trying my best, as I said before…
“Life is crazy sometimes;
I know its not easy…
But baby, baby hold on…”
Night had fallen outside. But I couldn’t sleep. Some strange insomnia for many days, I’ve been suffering. As per my daily routine, I tossed, and turned, and changed my positions, my pillows, I covered myself with the sheets, then threw them off…But I couldn’t sleep.
‘Help…’
At first, I thought it was my inner soul. But then I realized it wasn’t my voice. Somebody else. I sat up, straining my ears.
‘Please…I’ve been waiting for you…’
Hah! I wasn’t imagining! I got up. But then, I felt a strange dizziness. My head was spinning, and I sat down again.
‘Help me…’
“Who are you?” I tried to speak, but my head was beginning to hurt now…The whole world was spinning.
‘Bring me…to life…’
These were the last words I heard before everything went black…
“I wiped the tears from her face
She’s forgotten how her smile used to feel.
She holds my hand and she whispers,
“Tell me why you love a loser like me?”
It was a short guy; hair ivory blond, skin as white as snow. No sign of any color in his body, except for his eyes, a romantic chocolate brown, and lips, as red as roses. And he was staring at me. Staring with such intense pain, that my heart ached.
‘Help me.’ His lips didn’t move, but I felt it in my eyes. I desperately nodded and ran to him. But there was a transparent barrier between us; as cold as ice, but as strong as ivory.
‘Please!’ The pleading somehow gave me strength, and I simply touched the wall. But as soon as I did, a crack appeared at the point of contact, and spread to the whole wall. It pricked at my fingers, where I had touched the wall, and they were bleeding…but it didn’t matter…
The wall then shattered to a million pieces, and the limp body fell on me. I held him, scared for a moment. But then I noticed the irregular jerkings…he was crying?
‘They’ll kill me….sob…I’m a loser…They hate me…sob sob…I’m ugly to them…I-‘
I sushed the brown-eyes boy. Wiping his tears, I held him close…”Sshh…They wont…I promise…sssh now, you’re beautiful…c’mon…”
‘I am?’
‘Yeah’, I smiled, as he looked up to me through his blonde fringe.
His eyes weren’t brown, but a shy violet.
“Oh, I wish that you could see.
Oh, how beautiful you are to me.”
I woke up with a start. A nightmare? I noticed my sweaty clothes sticking to my body, and the pillows and sheet thrown down the bed. It was somewhat around two in the morning.
Strange...I don’t remember seeing the blonde face before? I looked at my fingers, and my eyes widened.
They were bleeding.
‘Help me! I’ve been waiting for so long! They’d kill me!’
The same voice again. And this time it wasn’t a dream! I knew it. And I knew that I didn’t have much time, I needed to hurry. Don’t ask me how, I just knew.
I got up, put on my boots, cap, scarf, and coat. Wait, wherever you are, I’m coming.
I’ll be you angel…Just hold on!
“Baby, baby hold on.
Oh, please don’t let go.
Baby, baby be strong…
So much you don’t know!”
I locked my cabin, and stepped onto the snow. They moon was powerful enough to light my way, and I didn’t switch on my torch.
Yeah, I know it might sound crazy…But somehow I knew which way to head… I tramped down the unknown but known path, clenching my bleeding fingers into a fist with my handerchief.
I’m coming.
Hold on.
“Life is crazy sometimes;
I know its not easy…
But baby, baby hold on…”