Evanescence' Chapter 2
Tommy’s POV
Darkness.
That’s all I saw.
Everything in my view was blank. I don’t remember for how long, but it has been the very same for …a very long time. It was all so hazy…Like a dream…Call it a nightmare, will you?
But then I saw it. Eyes.
A pair of beautiful eyes. Blue, powerful and shining. Majestic, but caring. Full of a thousand emotions. Staring deep into me…
And then everything went fuzzy again.
“How can you see into my eyes,
like open doors?
Leading you down into my core,
where I’ve become so numb…”
And then suddenly, after a very long time, I saw. I saw the mountains, covered with snow. I saw the full moon, and the twinkling stars. But everything is so hazy, I don’t understand why. And cold. It’s very, very cold…freezing me to my bones. But I didn’t shiver, its like, I cant shiver. I cant move. I saw the very few leaves on the dried branches rustle in the wind. But I didn’t move.
Then, I heard him.
Where are you?
His voice distant, faded, but full of hope. As if, it wasn’t real, just in my head. I’m here. Help me…Its been long…such a long time…
I felt my exhaustion. I don’t remember anything, but I know I’m tired. Suffering for a long time.
Who, who are you? Where are you? Tell me. I’m coming.
I am-…
I don’t know…I don’t remember…My name…what am I? Where am I? Why am I here? Why is everything so cold and hazy?
Hey! You there? …Hold on, I’m coming.
I felt his voice, full of urgency and desperation. And some why, he felt closer with each step.
“Without a soul,
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold.”
I saw it. Someone moving towards me. Slowly, but surely. Because of the moon, I couldn’t see his face until he reached very close to me. He had this shocked expression on his face, but I couldn’t see why.
There was this translucent barrier between us. Something which looked slippery and wet…Like ice. Yeah, cold and hard, like frozen ice. Not soft like snow, but hard. Like my frozen heart.
He looked at me, from face to toes, but I couldn’t look at him much. As I said, I couldn’t move, and he was standing very close, all I saw was his hazy face.
And his eyes. Pained, and the very blue I saw in my vision.
“Until you find it there
and lead it back
Home.”
He touched the ice, and I felt something similar to an electric shock. I raised my hand to my face. Hey! I could move!
But his expressions were as if he didn’t notice this. Hey! You! Cant you see me?
No…wait…this was like moving, I wasn’t actually moving…I don’t know…it felt different. Too light. As if…As if…it wasn’t my body…just my soul moving.
Am I dead?
“Wake me up…wake me up inside…
I cant wake up…wake me up inside…
Save me… call my name and save me from the dark”
He fisted through the ice, punched it hard. But it didn’t work. He then looked here and there…searching for something. Seeing something, he ran to the left. My eyes followed him, and I saw him coming back with a thick branch. Then, with all his force, he smashed it down on the ice wall.
The branch broke, but not even a scratch on the ice.
He tried the same thing with small boulders…but nothing worked.
Help me…I cant withstand the cold for long…Too much…this is too much for me…
He walked to me. Standing just on the other side of the frozen barrier, he put his hands up to the wall, his head resting on the ice, forehead and palms touching the ice. I saw his fingers bleeding.
“Hold on” I heard him…not just in my mind this time. But I saw his lips move. He looked so desperate. Worried.
I cant… Maybe its all over…The little hope that blossomed when I saw him, was beginning to wither now. He cant help me…Maybe I’m meant to suffer.
Thanks for trying. I faked a smile, even though I knew that he couldn’t see my soul. I put my hands (my soul’s hands, I mean,) upto his hands, touching the opposite side of the wall. I wanted to feel his warmth. I wanted to touch him…
I lay my head exactly on the opposite side of the wall to where his head rested.
Its all over. But thanks for trying. That’s the best thing anyone has ever done to me. This really touched me…But it didn’t matter…
“Wake me up…bid my blood to run,
I cant wake up…before I come undone…
Save me…save me from the nothing I’ve become…”
I heard it. A small cracking noise. I looked up to the direction of the sound, and to my hand. The thick ice had a tiny crack. Another crack on the side of the wall with the other hand. I looked upto him.
He had this beautiful smile on his face. So encouraging; awed, but almost magical, so powerful that I had to smile. At first it felt like a foreign reaction, this smiling thing. It had been long since I smiled, I knew that. I looked into his eyes, through the fuzzy ice, they were even brighter now. I smiled more. Then I saw his lips…And then I felt this sudden surge.
Even if I’m meant to die…I wanted to kiss him before I died.
Yeah, yeah, I know…its stupid, but whatever. I inched towards the ice adjacent to his lips, and then saw him close in too. I tried to cup his face, but since it was impossible for me to do this, I placed my hands on the ice, close to his face. His hands some why, followed mine, and he placed them on mine, through the ice.
I closed my eyes as I kissed him, as we kissed, through the barrier of death.
It was cold, freezing cold, but…it sent a warm satisfaction in my soul. I could die now.
And then, I heard the ice crack and shatter into a million pieces, like broken glass.
Everything went black, and I felt myself go numb.
Don’t leave me alone.
“Now that I know what I’m without,
You cant just leave me…”
.
.
.
“Don’t worry…” I heard a soft voice, while I drifted in and out of sleep. “You’ll be fine.”
There was this warm, warm hand on my forehead, caressing softly, moving slowly to my cheeks, lingering there. And I’m focusing on the word warm because I was cold, very cold…from the inside, as if the cold somehow made way into the deepest corners of my body and decided to dwell there. The hand on my face was removed, and I felt a light pressure on both sides of the soft-something, like a pillow- on either side of my head, as if someone was leaning onto me. A pair of soft lips kissed my forehead tenderly, and then I felt the bed (?) shift, and whoever was there stood up.
“Breathe into me
And make me real.”
I held onto the warm hand.
“Don’t…go…warm…I’m cold…” that was all I could manage to get out before fainting again.
“Bring me to life.”
“Hey…? Wake up…Hey…? Honey?” I woke up to this soft voice which was now really habituated to my ears. Someone was shaking my shoulders, waking me from this long death-like sleep.
I opened my eyes, and saw him. Clearly, not like that day, through the ice. He had this beautiful fair skin, which looked as soft as the snow. And I’m not exaggerating really. His hair was as black as the midnight sky, but some why, not as taunting as the darkness which trapped me for so long. A few locks fell onto his eyes, the very same eyes. Beautiful, blue, powerful, and caring. And his lips. Hell, his lips! Soft and tender and this…so delicious, and curved into this beautiful smile, so beautiful that I felt awed.
“Rise and shine.” He whispered into my ear.
I tried to get up, and he helped me, adjusting the pillows behind me. Woah, this was good. He then put the blanket closer, covering as much as he could. God! A blanket! A warm blanket…And it was so soft! I pulled it closer.
He then sat down on the bed, next to my feet.
“How are you feeling?”
I just nodded, not finding my voice.
“Are you really okay?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“I’m Adam, Hi!” He brought his hand forward. I took it in mine, and shook, but without saying anything.
“So…what’s your name?” He looked at me, but I didn’t speak. “Do you speak?” He asked. Hell yeah, I did. But not now…I just couldn’t. I just narrowed my eyes, giving this fuck you look. “Oh! You do! Maybe you don’t know English. Do-You-Know-English?” He spoke in slow motion, just like that blue fish-whatever was her name, Dory, Dothy…whatever- in that “Finding Nemo” did. You know, when she was talking in that whale-language? I narrowed my eyes again. “Okay, okay!” Looking at the cold stare I gave him, he held his hands up in surrender, and gave a beautiful, rich laugh, which simply dazzled me.
He got up, and went out of the room. I looked around. Nothing much, just a warm room, (with a fireplace, woopie!), some decorative pictures, a dressing table with a mirror..and anything you find in an average room. Like a hotel room, or something like that. This was more than enough for me.
He came back with a tray in his hand.
Sitting on the bed again, he uncovered a bowl of soup, hot soup, with the steam blowing out like incense sticks.
“So…do you eat? Wait, wait…Do-You-Eat?” He said in slow motion again. I just stared at him with my eyebrows raised. “Oh, I know!” He said, with an excited twinkle in his eyes. “Do-“ motioning with his hands, he made an asking sign, “-you-“ he pointed to me, “-eat?” he mimicked eating with his hand. I narrowed my eyes again. What’s up with this guy?
“Haha! Relax…I just, always wanted to do that…” He confessed, looking away, embarrassed.
I smiled. That was funny. And kinda cute too.
He looked at my smile, and laughed. “Oh! So you smile too?”
Hey! I pretended to look offended.
“Sorry.” He gave a pearly white smile.
“Wake me up…wake me up inside…
I cant wake up…wake me up inside…
Save me… call my name and save me from the dark”
When he was feeding me the soup, (Yeah, he literally spoon-fed me the soup, blowing the hot soup each time before putting the spoon in my mouth, even though I insisted a thousand times-without speaking of course.) I realized how much expressive he was. And he didn’t even mind that I didn’t say a single word all the time. He said that he made the soup himself, and then he gave me some bread-toast. I snatched it away from his hands, before he decided to feed me those too. While I was eating, he talked. About himself. And nothing in particular. He said that he was vacationing here in the mountains. Then somehow, the topic diverted to music, and he told me how much he loved music. He asked me to listen to my favorite songs, saying that they’ll help me recover soon. That’s what his mom believed. I noticed how he got this tint of sadness in his eyes, but he covered it up quickly. He said that he sang, but not as a profession, but as a hobby. I wanted to tell him that I played, instruments, many of them, the guitar, bass, keys…and even drums. But I didn’t speak. I don’t know why. I just didn’t.
And then he said that it was beautiful outside, and once I recovered, he would take me outside, that is, if I wanted. He said that it wasn’t good for me to stay in the bed for this long.
This long? I gave him this quizzical look, and then he said that I’ve been sleeping. Sleeping for two long days! Can you believe that?
Seeing that I finished my food, he took the empty tray and got up to leave.
“I’ll be back.” He gave me a smile, and turned.
“Tommy Joe.” I remembered. I remembered everything.
“Huh?” He looked at me.
“Tommy Joe…that’s my name.” Sheez, my voice was husky and broken because of not being in use for long.
He smile widened into a grin, and looked really happy. Then, his grin turned mischievous.
“So…you do speak!”
“Wake me up…bid my blood to run,
I cant wake up…before I come undone…
Save me…save me from the nothing I’ve become…
Bring me to life”
“Sorry for that.” He came back after keeping the empty utensils. Sitting beside me, and looked into me. “So, Tommy Joe,” he said slowly, tasting my name on his tongue, “that’s a nice name, and it suits you.”
Woah, I’ve never been told this before, and I accepted his compliment, (making an awkward face though).
“Tell me more about yourself.” He looked excited.
I shook my head. You wouldn’t want to know. My life was full of lies, betrayal and pain. I don’t want you to feel bad about me. You don’t have to.
“Why not? Oh, pu-leeez?” He said, acting all cute and pouting like a middle school girl.
“No!” I said, crossing my hands over my chest, calling it a final order.
“I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life”
“Oh well.” He looked dejected, acting like he was a small kid who was deprived of his cookies. “If you don’t want to tell me…fine…” Oh no, your crocodile tears wont work on me Adam!
“I’m not falling for your puppy dog eyes, Mister!” I said.
“What? Me?” He acted surprised.
“No. I’m just talking to the door, duh!”
“Oh yeah?” He stood up, held my arm, and suddenly, straddled me, leaning into my face, his eyes, staring deep into me. “You might not fall for the door’s eyes-“ he said, all serious, “-but you will fall for mine, Mister!” He said, mimicking my accent.
He then laughed, and got back to his place. I pretended that I didn’t care, but on the inside, my heart was pounding like crazy. I felt very warm inside.
“So…you wanna shower?” He asked, normal again.
“Okay.” I shrugged.
“Can I watch you?” He asked playfully.
“Get out of the room! NOW!”
.
.
.
I thought a hot shower would remove the frozen cold in my body. But it didn’t. As if the heat was not enough. As if, my body was in need of something else.
I wiped myself, taking care of my hair. That’s when it hit me. Clothes, I didn’t have an extra pair. Maybe that wardrobe in the room did. Wrapping the towel around my waist, (what else could I do? Not that I was going to walk into the room naked. No, I didn’t trust that dude even one percent!) I walked into the room, carefully walking over all my clothes which I had thrown all around the room.. (What? I had this bad habit, okay? So, I wasn’t all about neatness and order. So, sue me?) At least the room was warm. I opened the wardrobe. No…No…Nope… Nothing that I could wear.
“Hi.” A soft whisper in my ear which scared the hell outta me.
I gasped and turned around. Yeah, yeah, guess who it was.
“What, Adam?” I asked, acting all serious.
“Well…since you threw me out of my own room, without even letting me give you clothes…I brought these…” he held a pair of clothes. “But…maybe you don’t need them…So…I’ll just…” he was acting that lonesome girl again.
I snatched the clothes away just in time. “Why, thank you.” I said, trying hard to keep a straight face.
“So…would you let me stay now…?” He asked, just like a teen girl.
“UH! Let me put on the clothes. Then you come in. Duh!” I mean, what else could I say? I thought ordering or screaming would be too rude.
“Aww…But…Pwease??” He pouted.
“Just get out, Adam!” I ordered, but softly.
“Okay, okay! I don’t get it…Why do you think I haven’t seen you naked? Duh, you were unconscious for two whole days, remember?” He turned.
“What?” I said, my voice a few octaves too high.
“Oh well…” He started to walk out.
“Wait!” I caught him by his shoulder and turned him around. He cant be serious, I thought, my heart beating hard.
But he had this geeky smile on his face. “Gotcha!” He laughed.
“Goodness Adam. You scared me!” He really did.
“I know…But you looked too cute to not to.” He smiled, sincerely. “Okay, I’m leaving now. You change and call me, kay?”
“Wait! Thanks…” I walked close, and turned him again. But something went wrong. We tripped on the clothes which I had thrown about so gallantly. And we fell down. I closed my eyes. Ugh!
Thank goodness we fell on the bed. I opened my eyes, and looked directly into a pair of blue eyes. Blue like the ocean.
Too close, he was too close. He was breathing on my face. Warm, gentle breaths. They were really comforting. Even warmer than the shower.
“Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead.”
So close, I found my face going red. There he was looking into my eyes, straight into my soul. My heart was really running as if some boogeyman was chasing it.
Kiss me. I closed my eyes.
Yeah, I wanted him to kiss me. Kiss me hard…but why?
No…no…he shouldn’t.
Why would he?
I felt him get up, and I opened my eyes. Normally, this kind of situation is really awkward for me, and I go dumb. But was it the same for him? No…please…don’t be…
Don’t leave me.
“Don’t worry…That’s okay!” He said, really comfortably. But he sure didn’t look so. His face was scarlet too. “I…uh, will just leave now…” He said, and turned to leave. I didn’t stop him this time.
Then I remembered, that I’m just in a towel.
“All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me.
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything…”
Okay, okay…That wont happen again. This is it. I don’t have to get awkward again right? If I don’t want him to leave me, I have to be normal. But I cant. ‘Cause I am not normal…
Adam had given me some soft and comfortable clothes. Even though they were a little big for me, I liked them. And not because they had his scent. Seriously.
Then I called Adam in, and we were acting all normally again. I didn’t speak much…and he was telling me about this book he was reading. I was paying attention…and then somewhere in the middle…I got lost in his eyes. So deep…yet scarred by some sadness, some pain…Yet they had the comfort…the care for me…They were beautiful…I always wanted blue or green eyes…All I got was this monotonous brown. Yuck.
And then his pretty face, the more I saw, the more I was amazed by it. It was too beautiful to be human, you know?
“Without thought, without voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life”
“Tommy?”
I snapped out of my trance.
“Huh?”
“You…weren’t listening…right?”
“What? What made you think so?” I pretended to look offended.
“Because I told you to go to sleep. Three times.” He stated.
“Oh…I was…lost in your story you know…That’s a great book you’re reading…” I lied. What else could I do, duh!
“Oh yeah?” He raised his eyesbrows.
“Yeah! …But why do I have to sleep?” I asked, changing the topic, before he started to ask me what did I really like about the book. I liked sleeping, yeah. And I was tired…But I didn’t want to sleep. I knew I wouldn’t be able to…I just wanted to stay up…and hear him speak…
“’Cause its three at night. I’m a bad nurse, okay?…Geez, I don’t believe I said that…Sleep now. You need it!”
After arguing some more, I finally gave up. Sheez, its hard to defeat this guy. Whatever.
I got into the bed, pulling up the covers, (they were beautiful, warm and soft!!), when Adam suddenly slid beside me, into the covers.
“What-are you doing?” I asked.
“What! I cant sleep on the couch anymore! See, I’m tall, and the couch is too small for me. Yeah, you might fit in there…” He paused, making fun of my lame height. Hey! You cant do that! “But…I wont let you…so let me sleep with you…pretty please??” He blinked, and pouted.
“No!” I said, ignoring the double meaning in the sentence, and the blush on my face.
“But why?” he asked, too adorably.
“Because…” I sighed…Maybe it was about time he knew…I didn’t want him to get any closer…For his own good…
“Because…I’m not human…I’m a vampire…”
“I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside
Bring me to life”