I don't know what to feel right now. It's just one disapointment after another. I think I'm wasting my time with Shao-lin. I suck. I got passed up for Demo, and for Kempo teaching. I suck. I know it for a fact, but my mind keeps wanting to wrestle with it, to fight it, because I love it so much, it refuses to believe that I could be horrible at
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