(no subject)
almost is never enough
part i
To say Chen is anxious would be an understatement. He was never close to anyone and what he considered as family is this group who kills faster than a bullet. Kai is as close to a little brother that he gets. So when Zitao asks him where Kai is and that Kris has an assignment for him, Chen is scared out of it his mind. In this little circle of assassins, you rarely get a chance to see those higher in ranks. It’s only when you’re assigned someone very important to kill or you’re the one about to be killed.
“Zitao is looking for you.”
Only this and Kai understands the look on Chen’s face. He smiles, trying to appease the older’s worries. He gets a pat on the back as Chen says “I’ll wait for you in the car.”
Chen didn’t have to, but Kai is grateful.
--
“Here is your next assignment Kai.”
Zitao hands him a manila envelope, no greetings, pure business. Kai opens the thick envelope. The first thing he sees is the bundle of money which serves as his first payment, the rest would be after whoever this picture belongs to is gone from this world. He turns the photo in order to assess his next target.
Wide clear eyes held his own gaze, and he knows this man. He moves to that perfect slope of a nose that leads right down to those sweet soft lips he misses. Do Kyungsoo was the name of his next target.
“Why him?” Kai asks, thankful that his tone betrays no sign of panic he’s feeling.
“We don’t ask Kai. We only deliver.” Zitao takes a pause, sizing Kai, and continues. “Besides, I think you know the reason. No need to question it. I don’t have to remind you of the laws around here Kai.” with that, Kai was dismissed.
--
“What are you planning to do now kid?”
They are inside Kai’s R8. Kai shared whatever he needed to say to Chen.
The next time he speaks, Kai speaks clearly and with a straight face.
“I’d do what you told me before hyung. I’m going to make them chase for a diamond. It’s me they want, not him.”
❄
It’s been almost two weeks since Kyungsoo ran away from Kai. He is trying his best to continue to act like nothing is wrong and that Jongin was never a part of his life, key word being ‘trying’. He’s nowhere near successful as he finds himself thinking of deep black hair that compliments those beautiful eyes, much like how the night sky is perfect for the bright stars. Other times he remembers that fateful night he had given everything to Kai. He wanted to regret it, hate himself because of it, but he just can’t. Remembering the moment only brings him the happiness and the completeness he felt, soon followed by the torturing feeling of how much he misses the younger man.
He was tempted so many times to contact Kai and he almost wavers. Almost. But he remembers how he can’t fall in love, because there is only companionship, not love. How he can’t settle with the thought that Kai might love him too, because how can Kai love someone like him? He was not special, no matter how many times the other would sihne that special smile to Kyungsoo.
A knock stops Kyungsoo’s thoughts.
“Uhm. Hi Chanyeol. How did you know where I lived?” Kyungsoo was surprised seeing the part time guitarist of the bar he’s working at in front of his doorstep.
“Oh. Hi Kyungsoo. May I come in?” Chanyeol looked surprised too, but not really. He looked more of someone confirmed his suspicions.
They walk inside Kyungsoo’s apartment and Chanyeol wastes no time.
“Do you, by any chance, know someone named Kim Jongin?”
“Am I supposed to?” Kyungsoo was confused and Chanyeol was in the same state as well.
“I have to give you something. But you need to come with me.” Chanyeol sees how Kyungsoo was about to protest. “Just trust me on this one Soo. Baek would skin me alive if something happens to you on my watch anyways.”
And Kyungsoo believes this. He finds himself sitting on the passenger seat of Chanyeol’s car, and they are treading a road he wishes he didn’t know. They get out of the car, Chanyeol bringing a briefcase, outside a building Kyungsoo hopes they will not enter.
“Where are you taking me Chanyeol?”
“Just trust me Soo.”
They enter the building, each of Kyungsoo’s steps get smaller and slower as they near the elevator. Chanyeol punches the floor number and all Kyungsoo could do was to stare at the lighted circle. He’s not sure if he can do this right now. He has no idea why Chanyeol is doing this, he’s scared, but at the same time he wants to know. The elevator comes to a stop and Kyungsoo’s steps felt like dragging a ton of bricks. Chanyeol stops at Kai’s door and faces Kyungsoo.
“Kim Jongin is my boss. I work for him. Well, I guess now the right tense would be was and worked. He told me to find you and to leave you this.” Chanyeol hands him a pile of papers. “Those are the deed to his apartment. He wanted to leave everything to you.” Chanyeol once again shuffles through the briefcase and this time he produces a single small white envelope. “He also told me you’d be confused. He said you can find the answers there…”
Kyungsoo can’t process all of what’s happening right now. He accepts the envelope and asks Chanyeol. “Why are you talking in the past tense Chanyeol?”
Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo for three heartbeats. He contemplates on how he was supposed to tell the man in front of him. “Jongin filed an indefinite leave from work. It was more of a resignation but… yeah. I think you should let him answer the rest, read the letter. I’ll… I’ll see you soon Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo enters the pass code he knew all too well as Chanyeol left. He enters the apartment and everything’s the same, except for that piano stool now colored red and black. He makes his way to the grand piano, opening the lid, hands hovering over the keys. Then he braves reading the letter Kai left him.
It was minutes after, an hour maybe, Kyungsoo doesn’t really care, when he finished reading the letter and the loud notes of the grand piano keys resound inside the apartment. Tears have once again found their way on his eyes as he cradles his head on his arms above the piano. He learns of how Kim Jongin and Kai are two different people, how Kyungsoo brought a change in Kai’s life, how he wanted Kim Jongin and Kai to be one and the same for Kyungsoo. He learned who Kai is - a hitman, who Jongin is, a young business prodigy, and Kyungsoo learns that he doesn’t care about the two names because he loves the same man. Jongin and Kai might have lived different lives but Kyungsoo loves the man who surprised him with a kiss that could only be described as right and perfect. He loves the man who made him realize that what he needs is not companionship, who he needs is Kai - Jongin. But right now Jongin is gone. He’s gone to save Kyungsoo and all he desperately wishes for right now is another moment. Another chance to be with Jongin.
❄
“Good evening everyone. My name is Do Kyungsoo. And I hope you enjoy my last night here.”
Kyungsoo basks in the spotlight. He realizes that it’s a little too dim for the night. It seems that even the technical person wants to see Kyungsoo’s last performance. The performer sits on a recently acquired grand piano. Its surface is sparkling white, taken care of by the previous owner meticulously. You would’ve expected the set to be complete with the same palette, but when the owner of the bar received the set, the piano stool was of different color. The hard wood was painted red and the leather cushion was black. The red and black compliments the white, the owner thinks, so he doesn’t complain and accepts the impressive donation.
Kyungsoo closes his eyes as his fingers come in contact with the piano keys. He starts the piece and drowns in the song.
♪I like to say we gave it a try
I like to blame it all on life
Maybe we just weren’t right
Kyungsoo doesn’t believe in happy endings.
But that’s a lie, that’s a lie.
Kyungsoo believes in chasing his own reality.
If I would have known that you wanted me
The way I wanted you
And Kyungsoo believes that Kim Jongin is his reality.
Then maybe we wouldn’t be two worlds apart
But right here in each other’s arms
So Kyungsoo chases Jongin.
Yeah we almost, we almost knew what love was
But almost is never enough.♪
❄❄❄
a/n:
-this is for senyor_alpacai tried ;__; i hope i fulfilled that prompt we both forgot. hahaha. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK or else...
-thank you exobubz for the feedback and beta. you the beeeestest.