I AM NOT DEAD!
Well, hello everyone! It's been so long since I last posted here I think XD Either way, I just wanted to update you of my present life jajajajajaja
First things first: I'm graduating soon, at the end of the year and I am so nervous because I don't know what I'm going to do next, well, obviously I want to get a PhD but I'm not sure, I'm thinking about going to another city with one of my friends to a PhD course that attracted our attention. Of course, I have to get a scholarship and that's what worries me the most. Besides, I wanted to study my degree in another country, like USA or England (I was thinking about LA in USA but then I went 'Why is always LA?!' I mean, Jin left to LA jajajajaja) So, things are getting confusing, especially because all the info for the scholarship overwhelms me, so I end up giving up.
Second: One of my cousins is getting married and we are going to the wedding. I bought a nice red dress (red, of course it was going to be red. Everything in my life is red: my room - one wall - my laptop, and my car, and the half of my OTP) although I am in no way totally comfortable with its so low cut at the front, but well, we'll try to fix it.
Third: I can drive! (give me a test drive! so I can take you for a ride!) No, but really, the car was so useful this semester xD
Fourth: I just turned 22 and it's surreal. I do feel I have more responsabilities and maybe that's why I'm going back to old habits.
Fifth: I'm a supernatural fangirl, an angel, totally. And maybe I have a thing for weird pairings, I mean, my OTP in the canon are: destiel and sabriel, I fangirl about them so much while watching the serie but when It's about reading fanfics or me writing fanfics, it mostly goes: Dean/Gabriel, Michael/Gabriel, Lucifer/Gabriel, Tony Stark/Gabriel, so...I am SO sorry Sam! I do love you but, but, it's just, well...
Sixth: I AM GOING TO MUSE'S CONCERT THIS NOVEMBER! I'M SEEING MUSE FOR THE SECOND TIME! YAY!
Seventh: I'm coming back to the akame fandom. I think it was pretty obvious that after what happened with Koki, I had...taken a break. I know I said that we should support them, but before I realized, I noticed that I wasn't listening to KAT-TUN that much, even though I still listened to their new songs (and some old songs) and get them, I couldn't watch their PV's nor I could listen to old songs and all of this without me the wiser. I truly didn't realize that everytime a KT song came up in my iTunes, I would play the next song or listen to something not truly related (although I didn't exactly stop listening to Jin, which is weirder I think). But then I realized and I was mad at myself, not actually getting why I had done it (this just happened this year) and I wanted to go back, to listen to them, to feel happy with them and for them. I wanted to support Koki with INKT because he deserves it and wanted to be strong for 4nin KT. Thing is that it's kind of difficult for me. Maybe because it was Koki,who, while he wasn't my ichiban, he was someone I never thought would leave (not that he wanted it, since we all know how it happened) but still, doing some internal search, I came to realize that I was hurt, and that pushed me to avoid KT altogether, but I had had enough of that. I want them in my life again, they were so important to me, and they still are! They helped me with a lot of things and I think it's my time to try and get over what happened.
So now I'm coming back with small steps (turtle steps lol) first I started to listen to ALL of their songs again, and then I started re-reading all my fav akame fanfics and laughed and cried while reading. Also I started watching akame vids again and well, I cried, a lot. Actually, I've been crying a lot these days for the same reason: KAT-TUN. I cried while watching INKT's videos and, then I went to watch all KAT-TUN's PV's and my heart. Somehow, I was able to take it but I cried so hard that it scared me a little, because it was so long since I was that emotional about something and even then, I think I have never felt so...broken. I love them, I truly do and they make me smile while crying but now, even if I think I'm not done crying since I can feel myself tear up while writing this, I think I can do it now.
I think I can face them now, that I can be part of the fandom (KT and akame's) once again, facing proudly ahead and maybe a tad stronger thanks to all the things that kept me over the water this time. So no, KT is not the only thing for me now (FrostIron, Supernatural, my never ending love for Muse) but they are still a very important part of me and I think a prominent one so I'm coming back, slowly maybe, but surely. I want to go back to writing and to reading all the wonderful fics that I've missed these two years.
Also, I have to say...I'm working in this new fanfic, which is not a one-shot but not a multi-chap, I haven't looked up the name of the format but I'll tell you later XD I just have to say this: IKEA AU is love LOL
So, sorry for my rambling jajajajaja if someone actually read it all, well, THANK YOU SO MUCH ajajajajajaja I just felt the need to express myself, because I've been seriously talking with a friend about my feelings regarding KAT-TUN, exchanging experiences, ideas, theories, feelings and it was so obvious that I was so hurt that I wondered why I've never realized it before. She help me a lot with coming to terms with my feelings and I decided that it was worth it, that they were worth it and that I wanted them back.
Having said that, thank you again and well...I truly feel like saying this:
Tadaima...I'm home...(I am sooooo not crying)
First things first: I'm graduating soon, at the end of the year and I am so nervous because I don't know what I'm going to do next, well, obviously I want to get a PhD but I'm not sure, I'm thinking about going to another city with one of my friends to a PhD course that attracted our attention. Of course, I have to get a scholarship and that's what worries me the most. Besides, I wanted to study my degree in another country, like USA or England (I was thinking about LA in USA but then I went 'Why is always LA?!' I mean, Jin left to LA jajajajaja) So, things are getting confusing, especially because all the info for the scholarship overwhelms me, so I end up giving up.
Second: One of my cousins is getting married and we are going to the wedding. I bought a nice red dress (red, of course it was going to be red. Everything in my life is red: my room - one wall - my laptop, and my car, and the half of my OTP) although I am in no way totally comfortable with its so low cut at the front, but well, we'll try to fix it.
Third: I can drive! (give me a test drive! so I can take you for a ride!) No, but really, the car was so useful this semester xD
Fourth: I just turned 22 and it's surreal. I do feel I have more responsabilities and maybe that's why I'm going back to old habits.
Fifth: I'm a supernatural fangirl, an angel, totally. And maybe I have a thing for weird pairings, I mean, my OTP in the canon are: destiel and sabriel, I fangirl about them so much while watching the serie but when It's about reading fanfics or me writing fanfics, it mostly goes: Dean/Gabriel, Michael/Gabriel, Lucifer/Gabriel, Tony Stark/Gabriel, so...I am SO sorry Sam! I do love you but, but, it's just, well...
Sixth: I AM GOING TO MUSE'S CONCERT THIS NOVEMBER! I'M SEEING MUSE FOR THE SECOND TIME! YAY!
Seventh: I'm coming back to the akame fandom. I think it was pretty obvious that after what happened with Koki, I had...taken a break. I know I said that we should support them, but before I realized, I noticed that I wasn't listening to KAT-TUN that much, even though I still listened to their new songs (and some old songs) and get them, I couldn't watch their PV's nor I could listen to old songs and all of this without me the wiser. I truly didn't realize that everytime a KT song came up in my iTunes, I would play the next song or listen to something not truly related (although I didn't exactly stop listening to Jin, which is weirder I think). But then I realized and I was mad at myself, not actually getting why I had done it (this just happened this year) and I wanted to go back, to listen to them, to feel happy with them and for them. I wanted to support Koki with INKT because he deserves it and wanted to be strong for 4nin KT. Thing is that it's kind of difficult for me. Maybe because it was Koki,who, while he wasn't my ichiban, he was someone I never thought would leave (not that he wanted it, since we all know how it happened) but still, doing some internal search, I came to realize that I was hurt, and that pushed me to avoid KT altogether, but I had had enough of that. I want them in my life again, they were so important to me, and they still are! They helped me with a lot of things and I think it's my time to try and get over what happened.
So now I'm coming back with small steps (turtle steps lol) first I started to listen to ALL of their songs again, and then I started re-reading all my fav akame fanfics and laughed and cried while reading. Also I started watching akame vids again and well, I cried, a lot. Actually, I've been crying a lot these days for the same reason: KAT-TUN. I cried while watching INKT's videos and, then I went to watch all KAT-TUN's PV's and my heart. Somehow, I was able to take it but I cried so hard that it scared me a little, because it was so long since I was that emotional about something and even then, I think I have never felt so...broken. I love them, I truly do and they make me smile while crying but now, even if I think I'm not done crying since I can feel myself tear up while writing this, I think I can do it now.
I think I can face them now, that I can be part of the fandom (KT and akame's) once again, facing proudly ahead and maybe a tad stronger thanks to all the things that kept me over the water this time. So no, KT is not the only thing for me now (FrostIron, Supernatural, my never ending love for Muse) but they are still a very important part of me and I think a prominent one so I'm coming back, slowly maybe, but surely. I want to go back to writing and to reading all the wonderful fics that I've missed these two years.
Also, I have to say...I'm working in this new fanfic, which is not a one-shot but not a multi-chap, I haven't looked up the name of the format but I'll tell you later XD I just have to say this: IKEA AU is love LOL
So, sorry for my rambling jajajajaja if someone actually read it all, well, THANK YOU SO MUCH ajajajajajaja I just felt the need to express myself, because I've been seriously talking with a friend about my feelings regarding KAT-TUN, exchanging experiences, ideas, theories, feelings and it was so obvious that I was so hurt that I wondered why I've never realized it before. She help me a lot with coming to terms with my feelings and I decided that it was worth it, that they were worth it and that I wanted them back.
Having said that, thank you again and well...I truly feel like saying this:
Tadaima...I'm home...(I am sooooo not crying)