Week 18: Call (Tiebreaker)
The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps. ~ Marsellus Wallace; Pulp Fiction (1994)
Okay, so I’m not fighting but I can’t deny feeling that “slight sting” of pride. And actually, that “slight” sting feels like it was delivered by a pissed off wasp the size of a Volkswagen. Yeah, ol’ Marsellus was right… Pride is most definitely fu**ing with me. I’m a competitor. I thrive on the adrenaline rush only intense competition can provide whether it be on the basketball court, football field or even here in the Idol-verse. And there ain’t no two ways around it… losing stings.
Like many Idolers, I spent yesterday morning getting in a frantic last minute reading and commenting cram session before the polls closed. And like many folks, I kept checking the poll, hitting refreshrefreshrefresh… screaming, retching and kvetching and then doing it all over again. Though in all honesty, the writing did indeed appear to be on the wall early on this week. And unfortunately (for me), the trendline I’d been watching didn’t appear to be changing all too much. Oh, I watched my numbers surge a little bit now and again and they did appear to get a spirited charge there near the end getting me ever-so-close to safety but I just couldn’t quite seem to get over that hump to catch the pack.
So though it was disappointing, it wasn’t surprising that when the POLL CLOSED message appeared on my screen and I found myself within the bottom 5 entries scheduled for the chopping block. I spent a few minutes checking all of the numbers to be sure I was in fact headed for the gallows, lest I prematurely and unwarrantedly begin kicking puppies and small children. So it was with a great amount of surprise that I realized that hey, I’m not out… I’m in a tiebreaker! Which made the puppies and small children in my neighborhood rejoice.
So yeah… a tiebreaker. A chance to go head-to-head… or in this case, head-to-head-to-head for a chance to advance one more round in this crazy, crazy game. I have to admit, the competitor in me saw that and was thrilled for the opportunity. Imagine, just three of you, alone on the stage with all eyes focused on you… who brought it? Who didn’t? Who would advance and who wouldn’t? Seriously, the thought of it sounded entirely exciting, undeniably fun and to borrow a phrase from Chris Matthews, “it sent a thrill up my leg.” Three competitors, one spot… hey, we’re in the midst of March Madness, it seems totally appropriate to have a do-or-die, win-or-go-home match up, doesn’t it?
But then I stopped to think for a moment... which is rarely a good thing for anybody involved. And once I got to thinking about it, I came to some realizations…. Also rarely good things for anybody involved. What I realized is that I could write a piece, roll the dice and possibly beat out two very worthy competitors for the ticket to the next round. Or I could do the right thing. What is the right thing in this case, you might ask? Well, it’s certainly not the easy thing, that’s for sure… it’s that whole “pride fu**ing with me” thing again. I’m not one that quits and walks away without giving it my all. I don’t walk off the field with time left on the clock and a chance to win. It just doesn’t feel right.
But in this case, whether it feels right or not, the right thing, the right call for me is easy to make. I can’t, in good conscience, take the spot of one of these two fine competitors when I’ve already got another seat at the table. It wouldn’t be right nor would it be a good thing for the Idol-verse overall.
So though it’s a simple call for me to make, YOU folks have a difficult call to make… which of these two fine writers, ellakite or redvelvetgrrl will advance this round. I think both have churned out some really, really, really good stuff over the course of the season and have done really well for themselves thus far. Either one totally deserves to advance but unfortunately, only one will. So that’s the tough call we are all charged with to make. So who’s it going to be?
As for me… this has been a tremendous amount of fun and I think I accomplished some of what I set out to do under this name. Of course, the work is never done so I’ll never say I hit every goal. But this has been quite a learning experience for me. So thank you to everybody that has kept me in the game as long as I’ve been here. This has been fantastic.
Though I’ve tried to keep my real identity under wraps, I know that there are at least two people that figured out who I am. But if you’re curious about it, you can check it out… here.
Thanks again guys and I’ll see you around the Idol-verse in one form or another…