Comments | amorsalado: Writer's Block: Family planning

amorsalado

Writer's Block: Family planning

Oct 23, 2010 16:42

ivf, writer's block, rants, infertility, yeah i do want a fucking pony, to whom it may concern

Comments 8

kernowgirl October 23 2010, 21:53:42 UTC

I've felt much the same way and have been torturing myself reading replies to this question all day. I wasn't surprised by the selfish comments, or the people who didn't understand how complex and expensive the adoption process is. What did surprise me was the amount of people who felt that adoption as guaranteed and IVF wasn't.... OK, so IVF's success rate depends on what's making you infertile, but for many women, myself included, it's actually a much simpler method of getting a baby than going through all the adoption red tape.

And yes, I hate that the way the question is phrased gives people the perfect opportunity to say infertile people are selfish for not adopting, rather than anybody with their own biological children.

amorsalado October 24 2010, 16:45:23 UTC

Thank you for replying. I rather figured that when I put this out there, I'd get flamed from here to hell and back, and I really appreciate the support.

I wish you the best of luck, and I'm glad that you know what's right for you and don't listen to the people who think they know better!

(The comment has been removed)

amorsalado October 24 2010, 01:10:29 UTC

Nope. Not at all. Your answer was well thought out and stated as a well rounded opinion and not a one sided judgment. What had me all riled up were all the answers about how IVF is selfish and if you can't just have a kid on your own then you're doing the world a disservice by not adopting. Aside from the fact that it really isn't the responsibility of the infertile world to save the rest of it, if adoption were as easy as everyone seems to believe, I really would have at least two children by now instead of medical debt and heartache that won't ever go away ( ... )

youngcynical18 October 24 2010, 02:58:01 UTC

I knew as soon as i saw the question on the homepage you would have a post about that. I love you Laura. I can't even tell you the number of times i have said something to that effect and have people just look at me or tel me that i'm right because they actually know somebody

tchrrachel October 24 2010, 04:00:46 UTC

Thank you for your post! My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for the past five years, and I've been shocked by some of the comments our friends and family have made throughout this process. Everyone seems to have an opinion about what we SHOULD or SHOULDN'T be doing. I cannot agree more that "it's not up to fertility-challenged people to save the world."

amorsalado October 24 2010, 16:43:18 UTC

Thank you for replying. I rather figured that when I put this out there, I'd get flamed from here to hell and back, and I really appreciate the support. I wish you and your husband the very best of luck in whatever you decided to do or not to do, and I don't believe there's a single thing that you should or shouldn't be doing--only what you know is right for you.

cindyanne1 October 24 2010, 12:32:57 UTC

I agree with you sooo much. And for what it's worth, women like myself with several children are often the target of "you should have adopted" or "if you wanted that many kids, why didn't you adopt some that were already out there and need families before bringing more into the world?" :( And like you said... it's no trying to explain things to people that have no clue what it's really like.

amorsalado October 24 2010, 16:41:47 UTC

People are morons. Especially when they try and play the morality police. It's like there's something wrong with wanting to have children. Being in control of the prenatal environment from conception is a good thing. You know that you take your vitamins and that you don't drink and smoke and that you do your best to eat well and that you take your walk every day and get as much sleep as you can blahblahblah. I don't understand people's need to pass judgment--on infertile people or on people who have more than the freaking two point whatever children it is that they're "supposed" to have in picket fence America ( ... )