I think about social tendencies a lot...is that weird?
OOK so. Today, something made me think of my friend Danielle Rowan. I don't remember what it was but...I remembered how she loves knowing when people have talked about her. Good or Bad. She said this because she likes that people think of her when she isn't around to remind them she still exists.
Out of all the things I could remember about her instantly, that is what I always think of. Not that she had cancer and beat it, or that her appendix got taken out like 5 days before graduation. Not that she makes the best oreo ice cream cake. But that silly little detail.
Anyhow, the reason why I felt like sharing this is because, who can honestly say they don't want to know the good or bad things being said about them? Curiosity gets the best of everyone. I feel like people do this because, you get to a point in your life where you feel like you fit in the world in a certain position/title/group/some sort of label...and I think being curious as to what people say, kind of helps you to reaffirm your own suspicions about yourself.
Does that make sense to anyone but myself? It's very interesting don't you think?
I know that if anyone ever mentions that someone said something about me, that I instantly want to know what was said. I'll never forget the day that MikeyApex IMed me and asked if he and Dave Cook could call me on a conference call...and after my gigglefest over not being on a conference call since 7th grade, I was shocked to find out that Mikey was calling because he wanted to be my friend. And not just out of the blue, but because Dave had said so many nice things about me to him. I'll never forget that as long as I live, and to this day I value both of their friendships more than they probably realize or care to know.
On a slightly different point of this topic...I think I will always feel slightly awkward when someone says they admire me or something like that...especially someone who isn't a close friend. Even when close friends say something like that...I'm very taken aback. Three friends of mine have said they really admire me in the last 2 weeks. I don't deserve any admiration.
I mean, I think I'm a pretty good person. I do my best in every situation that's thrown at me. I try to laugh as often as possible and I try to just be happy. Happy with my choices, happy with my job(s), happy with my life's direction and happy with my friends. But isn't that how everyone lives?
I dunno. I just heard these 3 people say these things...and I think about people like Stephen Christian, the 26 year old Mayer in Pittsburgh, my mom and billions of other people who ARE admirable for so many things. And I feel like I have a lot of work to do, to live up to such ideal standards.
one day I would like to feel like I'm an admirable person. but I don't think I am there yet. I haven't done anything to deserve it. (yeah my dad passed away...but that happens to everyone at one point or another in their life. it doesn't make me special. it doesn't make me admirable. it doesn't make me want or crave pitty. it makes me human.)
ANYHOW. I think people that want to be internet famous are weird mofos. And not people that work on internet websites...because that's a different sitch. But people who look for people to be friends with on myspace and lj and billions of other sites...just to forge internet relations....and then want to be 'known' through "the scene" creep me out. I do not like meeting people off the internet I haven't already met....so if we're lj friends and we've never met...or previously hadn't met in RL before...you're 1 of 4maybe5 people. True story. so that's the end of that.
ok I'm done. goodnight! :-)
Out of all the things I could remember about her instantly, that is what I always think of. Not that she had cancer and beat it, or that her appendix got taken out like 5 days before graduation. Not that she makes the best oreo ice cream cake. But that silly little detail.
Anyhow, the reason why I felt like sharing this is because, who can honestly say they don't want to know the good or bad things being said about them? Curiosity gets the best of everyone. I feel like people do this because, you get to a point in your life where you feel like you fit in the world in a certain position/title/group/some sort of label...and I think being curious as to what people say, kind of helps you to reaffirm your own suspicions about yourself.
Does that make sense to anyone but myself? It's very interesting don't you think?
I know that if anyone ever mentions that someone said something about me, that I instantly want to know what was said. I'll never forget the day that MikeyApex IMed me and asked if he and Dave Cook could call me on a conference call...and after my gigglefest over not being on a conference call since 7th grade, I was shocked to find out that Mikey was calling because he wanted to be my friend. And not just out of the blue, but because Dave had said so many nice things about me to him. I'll never forget that as long as I live, and to this day I value both of their friendships more than they probably realize or care to know.
On a slightly different point of this topic...I think I will always feel slightly awkward when someone says they admire me or something like that...especially someone who isn't a close friend. Even when close friends say something like that...I'm very taken aback. Three friends of mine have said they really admire me in the last 2 weeks. I don't deserve any admiration.
I mean, I think I'm a pretty good person. I do my best in every situation that's thrown at me. I try to laugh as often as possible and I try to just be happy. Happy with my choices, happy with my job(s), happy with my life's direction and happy with my friends. But isn't that how everyone lives?
I dunno. I just heard these 3 people say these things...and I think about people like Stephen Christian, the 26 year old Mayer in Pittsburgh, my mom and billions of other people who ARE admirable for so many things. And I feel like I have a lot of work to do, to live up to such ideal standards.
one day I would like to feel like I'm an admirable person. but I don't think I am there yet. I haven't done anything to deserve it. (yeah my dad passed away...but that happens to everyone at one point or another in their life. it doesn't make me special. it doesn't make me admirable. it doesn't make me want or crave pitty. it makes me human.)
ANYHOW. I think people that want to be internet famous are weird mofos. And not people that work on internet websites...because that's a different sitch. But people who look for people to be friends with on myspace and lj and billions of other sites...just to forge internet relations....and then want to be 'known' through "the scene" creep me out. I do not like meeting people off the internet I haven't already met....so if we're lj friends and we've never met...or previously hadn't met in RL before...you're 1 of 4maybe5 people. True story. so that's the end of that.
ok I'm done. goodnight! :-)