On Victim Blaming and Rape
Okay, World, it's time you and I had a talk.
Because really, I don't like the fact that I've seen two ridiculous court statements that involve blaming rape victims in only two weeks. For those who don't want to read the links, the first refers to a woman who was raped, at gunpoint, in front of her young children in a Marriot parking lot. The hotel, in a great show of care, and sensitivity, implied that her horrific attack was, in fact, her own fault for not using her "failed to exercise due care for her own safety and the safety of her children and proper use of her senses and facilities." They then decided to sue the victim, and subpoenaed the victim's friends, pilates instructor, babysitter, and tennis partner. These people had not been told about the attack. Now, the poor woman had all that to deal with along with an incredibly tramatizing sexual assault. All this because their security did not remove this man from the hotel parking garage and the chain decided the best way to protect itself was through a lawsuit.
The second link involves a Canadian University. A woman was sexually assaulted while working late in the laboratory. The school does not have any sort of councelling services available for victims of sexual violence. She rightfully believed the school did not have enough resources available to protect female students at the school. During the lawsuit, the school stated that "the victims injuries were caused or contributed to by the plaintiff, through her own negligence. She was not keeping a proper look out for her own safety.”
World, are you still listening? I'm not through with you yet.
In fact, we're just getting to the important part.
Please tell me, dear World, what these women could have done to avoid being raped. Please, tell me why they need to go to hell and back and be victimised all over again, just because you think they didn't do everything in their power to avoid being attacked. Please, tell me what the woman who was protecting her children should have done to fight back. Please, tell me how the university student could have better defended herself, in a place where she should have been safe. Please, just explain these simple things to me.
What's that? You don't have an explanation? And these things are not that simple?
Huh. You don't say.
Maybe, it's because we live in a society where sometimes, you can't protect yourself. Sometimes, the attacker is a friend, a lover, a nieghbor, a relative, or a parent. Sometimes, the attacker is a complete stranger. And every time, every situation is different. The move that saves one person might kill another. Punching the man with a gun could give you a chance to escape. It could also cause him to shoot you.
How can a person keep a proper look out for their own safety in a world where sometimes, bad things happen, and you're overpowered and there's nothing you can do? It is never the victim's fault, even if she was raped while wearing a short skirt. Women are raped every day in nun habits, in dresses, in pants, in swimsuits, in pyjamas, and in business suits. The victim's can be young and beautiful, or old and feeble. The only constant is that these women were all sexually attacked, they should all get justice, and their attackers should all be punished. The only person to blame for a rape is the rapist.
World, I know you want to believe that "if I don't ______, then I won't be _______." I know you don't want to believe that sometimes, bad things happen to good people. But World, if you keep believing this, people will continue to suffer. Rapists will continue to walk for their crimes because "oh, she consented by going out to drink with him" or "they were married, so he couldn't have raped her." Victims will go to sleep every night haunted by the thought that maybe it really was their fault and they didn't try hard enough to stop it.
And that is never okay.