BrigitsFlame, September - Week 3

[amused4ever]

 

Comments

[tangledwood]

I think this is my favourite piece of yours all month. Absolutely beautiful and tragic.

[amused4ever]

Thank you. :)

[katden]

Wow. Tragic is right! This is very interesting the way you've chosen to weave the future backwards through your story, giving us insight to Jim's life and ending with his childish, happy musings. You've got some lovely descriptions that bring his surrounding landscapes vividly alive.

Good luck and good writing!

[amused4ever]

Thank you! Thanks for reading! :D

[wierdauntie]

Interesting choice, to start with flashback of his death. I'd have gone the other way with that. But love the idea and the imagery...

[amused4ever]

I did debate a while on which to have it go, forward or backward, but in the end I just went with the way it came to me. Took the choice out of the equation. ;P

Thanks for reading! :D

[perfectfiresky]

this is a really nice piece! Love the vivid descriptions =P and the idea of flashforwards to the future is really cool. I love it!

[amused4ever]

Thanks! Thanks for reading!

[jlly_coppercorn]

This was really cool, very descriptive. I love the scene. I can only imagine what it would be like to lie under all of those tall stalks. The way the memories weave through it makes it seem like he was in an afterlife of his youth with his former life retreating from him. Like he's shedding the old jim to reach a personal Nirvana in the sunflowers.
All due love and respect to Auntie up there, I think going in reverse was far more effective than starting with the childhood memory of his sister receiving the horse. It ties the beginning and end of the story together. It also gives the feeling of the memories being separate from him since he states earlier that he doesn't know where the horse came from.
Really well done. Good luck this week.

[amused4ever]

The sunflowers were my favorite part--I've always wondered what it would be like to live on a sunflower farm. :3

Thanks for reading!