19 Days

[amusementdevice]

Originally published at Bit Rationale. You can comment here or there.

In less than three weeks I move into my new apartment.

It’s a studio. It’s small. It’s not too expensive. And it’s downtown. Walking to work will keep me in shape. But then again, so will the YMCA that is two blocks away from work.

After living a life that wasn’t really mine

Comments

[roomette]

We cannot quantify our past experiences until we have found the use for them in our present. You have no idea how the last decade will inform your present life and to consider it an utter loss is, perhaps, a misstep.
You attempted to self destruct and learned your personal desire to survive was stronger than your impulse to destruct. That alone, that knowledge, is pretty powerful.

I don't know if I believe in new beginnings. They're not guts and blood enough for me. I'd not see it as starting over. I'd see it as winning at last like you've thrown that demon down and not just down, but crushed it underfoot.

Winning doesn't always come with applause. Sometimes there's just a haunting echo as your realize fewer people wanted to win than you thought.

xo

[amusementdevice]

I don't know if I really believe in new beginnings either. Just a continuation.

Being that I've learned and grown from past experiences, and I'm taking that knowledge with me, there is no new beginning. All of that has still happened to me.

Now I will just see where I will take it.

xoxo

[dizzy88]

You get none of it back, only forward never back. Where is your place?

[amusementdevice]

Belltown

Bars as far as the eye could see.

If I only didn't work nights.

[dizzy88]

see you sometime?

[roomette]

You can always drink before you go to work. I hear that is a good idea for keeping your job...