Tell me all that you know...

[amy_beachbumg4]

I had a fantastic conversation with my parents next-door-neighbor today. We talked about her childhood, which she spent in the Phillippines before coming here as a mail order bride. I loved talking to her..she has such an external point of view, since she didnt grow up the way we all did. She's lived in different countries and holds an entirely

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...hmmm...

[guenhwyvar_sb]

It never ceases to amaze me how different we are. You focus more on what is going on in other places, what role you can play in other countries. You care. I don't. How sad it is that I feel that way but I cannot help but feel that that is the only way for me sometimes. This whole world is a horribly awful place and under work circumstances such as I have it is hard for me to break the habit of Sarra being #1. I don't want to make excuses for me being selfish. And I do know it is selfishness. That is no surprise to me. All I can seem to do is focus on the fact that I've had nothing my entire life and wish to change that. To get married to have children and before all that to obtain a job that will support me and my family solely if need be. It is so heart breaking to see the situation that mom and dad are in. And how there really is nothing that we can do to help. Hopefully I can get a job, a career, that will provide not only my family but will enable me to care for mom and dad when they get older. I love you mimi.