We got back Sunday but B's birthday activities have kept me hoppin'! I still haven't had a chance to look through my pictures or write about our trip to the Smokey's
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My wife trusts me with my friends on line. She trusts me to the point where if I wanted to be friends with someone from the internet in real life, she would allow it. I have done that exactly once with a woman, and made every effort to make our relationship a friendship between me, Mrs Husband, her, and her husband, which turned into a huge mess. Even though I was just being friends with someone because I had alot in common with her, she had other motives. Once I found that out, I terminated the relationship immediately.
The moral of the story? If you trust your partner to do the right thing, they will, if you've made the right choice in partners. I trust her the same way, and to do anything else would just push her away.
No, I wasn't always this way. I made a bad choice in my first marriage, and while it made me miserable for a while, it really taught me something that has been invaluable this time around.
I think it sounds like a very mature and loving relationship and I believe that's the way it should be. Over the years I've had the pleasure of adding two couples and a single guy from online to our offline friends. It's been a positive, albeit rare, experience.
I haven't been in a relationship in the last five years, so I don't actually have any experience with this. However, I can't imagine how exasperating it would be to need/want to monitor my SO's online activities when I'm not there (or even when I am around).
No, I have never had any reason to worry about such things. I guess I tend to be pretty liberal about that sort of thing anyway. If I had a girlfriend or wife who chatted online, that's her business. If we're married or in a serious relationship, I like to think that the trust we would have to make such a relationship possible would be strong enough that I wouldn't have to worry about who she's chatting with. If the trust wasn't that strong, then I think cyber-friends would be the least of my worries.
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Thank you! You made an excellent point "If the trust wasn't that strong, then I think cyber-friends would be the least of my worries." I agree wholeheartedly. It's all about trust, respect and communication.
That guy hit a nerve with me. I've seen so many relationships where there was abuse with control issues. Sometimes they were mixed in with trust issues, sometimes not. Either way, I know I wouldn't want any part of them.
Comments 4
My wife trusts me with my friends on line. She trusts me to the point where if I wanted to be friends with someone from the internet in real life, she would allow it. I have done that exactly once with a woman, and made every effort to make our relationship a friendship between me, Mrs Husband, her, and her husband, which turned into a huge mess. Even though I was just being friends with someone because I had alot in common with her, she had other motives. Once I found that out, I terminated the relationship immediately.
The moral of the story? If you trust your partner to do the right thing, they will, if you've made the right choice in partners. I trust her the same way, and to do anything else would just push her away.
No, I wasn't always this way. I made a bad choice in my first marriage, and while it made me miserable for a while, it really taught me something that has been invaluable this time around.
Reply
I think it sounds like a very mature and loving relationship and I believe that's the way it should be. Over the years I've had the pleasure of adding two couples and a single guy from online to our offline friends. It's been a positive, albeit rare, experience.
Reply
I haven't been in a relationship in the last five years, so I don't actually have any experience with this. However, I can't imagine how exasperating it would be to need/want to monitor my SO's online activities when I'm not there (or even when I am around).
No, I have never had any reason to worry about such things. I guess I tend to be pretty liberal about that sort of thing anyway. If I had a girlfriend or wife who chatted online, that's her business. If we're married or in a serious relationship, I like to think that the trust we would have to make such a relationship possible would be strong enough that I wouldn't have to worry about who she's chatting with. If the trust wasn't that strong, then I think cyber-friends would be the least of my worries.
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Reply
That guy hit a nerve with me. I've seen so many relationships where there was abuse with control issues. Sometimes they were mixed in with trust issues, sometimes not. Either way, I know I wouldn't want any part of them.
Reply
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