Y'know, I was going to change the title of my journal, but I now cannot for the life of me remember what I was planning to change it to. So I think I'll leave it what it is for now
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See, I don't think optimism is important because it's 'normal', I think it's important because it's healthier. I went through years of being constantly seriously depressed, and a big part of being able to kick that was learning to force myself to be as optimistic as possible. No, you shouldn't be _lying_ to yourself, but saying 'I shouldn't hope for anything good, because then I won't be suprised if something bad happens' is setting yourself up for failure because of it's assumptions of it.
And, of course, it makes a person _extremely_ unpleasant to be around. This stubborn belief you have that refusing to be at all positive is the best way to do things is what I, personally, find to be your worst trait, and it'll often kill my desire to talk to you about something. Being pessimistic does absolutely nothing for you other than encouraging wallowing in misery and angst, and frankly, you're way the hell too smart of a person to be that self-centered.
I worry about spending time away from friends because I think that they'll forget me. I've been through enough terrible friendships and relationships to be conditioned to the idea that people don't actually think about me when I'm not immediately there, and I worry that distance means -- well, emotional distance.
Not necessarily so. I can think of at least one person who wasn't had contact with you in over a year and brings you up in conversation on a nearly daily basis. Also your mother, your father, your sister. It's all about candy pigs and wishing she'd hugged you more when you were here.
I'm not saying this with any expectations, as responsibility for the whole mess doesn't fall on you. But at the same time, please-- don't think so little of yourself. Even those you would rather not remember you will miss you terribly long after you're gone from their lives.
...I probably should have made this a mysterious anonymous comment, to avoid embarassing you. Feel free to delete or screen if this is a problem.
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And, of course, it makes a person _extremely_ unpleasant to be around. This stubborn belief you have that refusing to be at all positive is the best way to do things is what I, personally, find to be your worst trait, and it'll often kill my desire to talk to you about something. Being pessimistic does absolutely nothing for you other than encouraging wallowing in misery and angst, and frankly, you're way the hell too smart of a person to be that self-centered.
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**hugs**
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Not necessarily so. I can think of at least one person who wasn't had contact with you in over a year and brings you up in conversation on a nearly daily basis. Also your mother, your father, your sister. It's all about candy pigs and wishing she'd hugged you more when you were here.
I'm not saying this with any expectations, as responsibility for the whole mess doesn't fall on you. But at the same time, please-- don't think so little of yourself. Even those you would rather not remember you will miss you terribly long after you're gone from their lives.
...I probably should have made this a mysterious anonymous comment, to avoid embarassing you. Feel free to delete or screen if this is a problem.
Reply
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