“migration involves reinhabiting the skin”

[ana_khouri]

So I just finished Queer Phenomenology by Sara Ahmed for my diss (getting it was a whole different story which involved fruitless library trips and lots of aggravation before I found it used on Amazon for a reasonable price...) but beyond the gay-ness of it all I was really thrown by how she incorporated the idea of migration and changing nations

Comments

[chris4short]

I wonder if that (the dual national couple thing) is (or was) something my mom experienced. She moved here only to take on a nanny-esque job for a year to get some experience with kids, and ended up going back to Germany engaged to a man her family had never met. I am sure she talked to them about Dad, but he couldn't speak to them since I am sure his German skills were about as well grasped as mine (which is baby speech and talk slowly so I can understand every 5th word). Dad was willing to move to Germany so my Mom didn't have to leave her family, but after they talked about it - they were both in school, and Dad had a full time job - the States was best for them. They got married in Germany, and moved here

[ana_khouri]

Yea, I guess moving out does that in general... It is just really hard to keep in touch with everyone when the 'international what time is it' game means their at work when I'm awake.... (and then there are the people you miss that you don't really have a 'I'll talk to you on the phone' relationship but you have no way of just hanging with them) But you're right, no matter what I did, there would be a balancing act involved...and most of the time I feel balanced... just the vertigo from the unbalanced moments is pretty extreme.. lol

Thanks for giving me some perspective... : )

*hugs*

[lockets24]

hey hon..i just got off the phone with your lovely other half..on the beach with her mum!!

*hugs*

xx

[ana_khouri]

Yep, and petting the marsh ponies! As much as I miss her I'm glad they had time together...

Thanks for the happy image and the hugs. : )

*hugs back*

And I'm sorry to hear about your friend.... I'm glad you're going to spend time with her...

*I don't know her but hugs for her anyway*

[tiah15]

Adding my two cents - I still feel weirdly not at home sometimes although I haven't moved more than 40 km in my life. It's strange to change your way of life, your habits, everything you've ever known as normal because everyone is a habitual creature. It's what gives us stability. For now I can't imagine to live as far away from home as you do since to me contact via phone or internet still isn't the same as being there. I might be old-fashioned though since my internet connection including flat is only 2 years old :)
Like Chris said I believe that growing up and being in that limbo between a grown up with a job and family AND still being a child somewhere automatically forces you into different skins or roles depending on whom you're interacting with. As a child or friend, student or employee etc. Unfortuately (or is it fortunately?) you changed in more ways than one at the same time, but don't worry, I have yet to meet someone without any skin to fit him or her.

[ana_khouri]

Thanks for the support (honestly I wasn't expecting anyone to read my crazy ramble) and you and Chris are right... it is largely a growing up thing... (I didn't realize quite how much) but the extremity of the distance does bother me sometimes... Cause I miss the random family get togethers and, like I said, the fact that my family doesn't really know Emma... because I was so happy I could give her this big awesome family of mine but she doesn't fit in it yet because we've only been to one family thing... And with the whole surprise (to my fam) of being gay I'm fighting to remain a close part of the fam (my gay aunt sort of lives on the periphery.. maybe because she lives far away) which is harder because I live so far away...

But of course a lot of that is just trying to balance my new life with my old... But, as you said, it will come..

Thanks again, you guys may be miles to timezones away but you make me feel less alone (especially since Emma is off with her mum)