day one.
10mg Paroxetine. 1/2 tab once a day. take in the morning with food.
i told him i was fed up of being here. stuck here, knowing i was better. told him i was sure i wasn't sick but that my body was stuck in sick cycles i couldn't keep myself out of. that i needed something to help me get out on the bad days and help me stay out on all days. 30 tabs of 20mg. can't see myself needing it for very long but i've never gone here before. it was the one avenue i hadn't ... tried.
I told him i was scared because of many things and had put it off until it seemed necessary. told him i was afraid of addiction. he told me he avoided the addictive ones at all cost and basically agreed with everything i said (not in that placating way, but in that way that somehow he knew and respected me).
I started thinking, what if this is that little bit of help i need to live the life i WANT to live? what if it doesn't change me in any way but the positive. What if the world is now ACTUALLY my oister and i have the lack of fear to take it into my hand, pry it open, and .... raping oisters? bad analogy.
i don't feel like this i a failure. i feel like this is... this is... hope.
i told him i was fed up of being here. stuck here, knowing i was better. told him i was sure i wasn't sick but that my body was stuck in sick cycles i couldn't keep myself out of. that i needed something to help me get out on the bad days and help me stay out on all days. 30 tabs of 20mg. can't see myself needing it for very long but i've never gone here before. it was the one avenue i hadn't ... tried.
I told him i was scared because of many things and had put it off until it seemed necessary. told him i was afraid of addiction. he told me he avoided the addictive ones at all cost and basically agreed with everything i said (not in that placating way, but in that way that somehow he knew and respected me).
I started thinking, what if this is that little bit of help i need to live the life i WANT to live? what if it doesn't change me in any way but the positive. What if the world is now ACTUALLY my oister and i have the lack of fear to take it into my hand, pry it open, and .... raping oisters? bad analogy.
i don't feel like this i a failure. i feel like this is... this is... hope.