Not so much 'vewy sewious Who fanon' as 'things it amuses me to imagine are true'.
1. Eight's hair is a wig, just like the Master's beard is glued on.
2. Crispy wears ladies' underwear under that robe. It's lacy.
3. Five once shaved his eyebrows off in a fit of pique and they never grew back.
4. Six has weak hearts, which had respective attacks when
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(also I read number #3 out to Lady Yate-Xel and she added 'and no one noticed, anyway, right?')
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Five totally buys all those hair regrowth tonics for balding men, and rubs them intently into his brows.
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i choose to believe that these are all true :3
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