Not a mea culpa...well, maybe sort of....

[anahata56]

I haven't been here in a long, LONG time. And I can't say that I am apologizing for that, because I think that the time away has been good--for me, and maybe a little for you, too

Comments

[jaxomsride]

Having heard of some of the Facebook dramas that do go on for my work colleagues (seriously if you are going to cheat on your girlfriend don't brag about it on Facebook to her nearest and Dearest.) I think you are more fortunate in your choice of friends on Facebook.

Glad to to know you are still alive!

[anahata56]

I suppose that if you go looking for it, you can find drama anywhere...but I definitely haven't found it on FB. And I wonder if it's because I don't go looking for it, or if it has to do with those pesky expectations. I think there are a lot of people here who expect me to come unglued from time to time, so they look for it, with a great deal of trepidation. But I honestly haven't done that, at least not so spectacularly, in YEARS. So waiting for it, even here? It's going to be a long wait. I'm past that now, I think--I don't WANT it.

[anahata56]

Vickie, I know that you are one of the people I hurt here, with my overflowing and enormous drama, and the intense importance I put on things that happened here. I know that you are too sweet a soul for that. And I am so grateful that you reached out through your wariness and connected with me again, on FB and on here, and I appreciate so much the ability to let you know that I'm not scary and I won't hurt you again. That means a lot, that second chance...

[saavik]

FB is a lot easier . Less drama because there is less intensity of feeling. I have many (too many?) of my sister's in-laws on my FB Flist and find myself self-censoring all the time in my own updates. In fact, most of my activity and passion is expressed as comments to other people's updates, or other communities' updates. Only have one person on my FB Flist who remembers me from when I was a little girl. There is no one else alive who remembers me, or my parents from those days, not even my sister. I love her, but she was born in June of the year I went off to university. We have our own little generation gap between us.
I guess you are lucky, Belle, to find comfort in your roots. If that's where you need to be, and you now feel LJ was a mistake, so be it.
I will miss the person you were when you were here.

[anahata56]

Oh, I don't think it was a mistake! And I think that I may just be ready to come back a little more. But no, I have to say, I'm not going to miss the person I was here--and I hope you don't, either, because I have to tell you, she was one unhappy woman. I don't want to be that unhappy again. I don't want to lie awake at night and replay those painful exchanges over and over and over again. I don't want that reputation. I don't want anyone, ever again, to feel like they have to take it upon themselves to outline my sins and my foibles and the hurt I cause in order to protect people from me. I can't begin to tell you how humiliating that was for me. That doesn't feel good, Margo, and I think the thing I like best about hanging out in Facebook is that no one is scared of me. That's not going to happen again, because I'm just not important enough for it to happen. No one is intimidated by me. I am seen in perspective, and those folks are grown up enough to know that I can't hurt them...and if I do hurt them, it's probably an accident

[saavik]

Like Sy says in his comment below, I didn't find you to be a fire-breather either. If people were ever afraid of you, it was probably because they did not want to see in themselves the things you made plain. That's not so bad a reputation to have, IMO

[siliconshaman]

Good to see you back, and funnily enough, I didn't find you to be that much of a fire-breather here..

Way I figure it, we behave differently in different situations. Your 'at work' persona isn't quite the same as you at home etc... So how we behave online, and in different places online, will vary.

This is no big deal.. because all those masks are aspects of the real 3D person. [which like any object with depth you can't see all of at the same time.] Who you are at the core, that's the important part... and that's usually what you were when you were young and running around 'naked' without any masks.

Hence, I guess, your experience on FB. Because if we wear a mask for too long, we can forget who we really are.

[westwindschild]

Welcome back; I must havemissed all that drama, but I have really missed you!