Nokar Story- part 2

[anahbird]

About a month ago, I posted the 1st segment of my Nokar story. Today someone responded (1st and only person) and was interested in reading more, so here is the 2nd segment. This segment is a little slow, but the story is still in the exposition phase and the 3rd segment will really start things moving. And just remind me to write on thsi story

Comments

[stylishpine]

Nokar jumped back on the bed and began removing blankets and sheets and pillows, tossing them every which way like a child unwrapping a present.

This was fun to read!

He didn’t realize that she was worried about something else altogether.

I kind of read the storybackwards, but this is a foreshadow.

As a child, he had dreams of living different lives throughout the ages, and in one of them he lived on a boat.

Yup, brought back in the next chapter.

There was a small hole in the beach-side wall of the cave, just large enough to be a door for someone of average human height.

Made me think of the last Harry Potter book.

Nokar felt like the butterflies were just extensions of the flowers that rose into the raise when the people approached.

Oh... this is nice imagery!

She wouldn’t ruin his wonderful day with her bad news, she told herself.

Aww... she tried...