Chapter Two...
Title: Pulse
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Word Count: 6,143
Chapter: 2/?
Warnings: yaoi...angst?
Rating: PG-13 for now (basically just for situations involving alcohol and brief language)
Notes: This takes place sometime in the early spring, a few months after the end of the 4th musical. I think this will be a few more chapters than I originally thought...maybe 5 or 6? I got a little carried away with Tuti here, and so the next chapter will be Tuti also. :) Thank you very much for the feedback and comments on Chapter One... I'm very curious to see what you think of this chapter too! ^_^
Disclaimer: No basis in reality. Possible incorrect retelling of events? I'm bad with timelines and stuff like that, so... ^_^
Thanks to kooriyoukai for her help... :)
x-posted to tutixnagayan
( Chapter One )
It was late already, and Tuti was sure that if his friend wasn’t already out somewhere by this point in the evening, then he would be asleep, but… he figured he had to at least try calling him anyway.
Takashi had recently taken a small part in a film, but Tuti really had no idea if the shooting had finished for that yet or not. He did know his friend well enough by now though to know that if it hadn’t, there would be a good chance his friend would be asleep already. A couple of weeks into any project, working long hours every day, and Tuti knew that Takashi would be doing literally nothing but spending time on the set, and sleeping. When he wasn’t working, it was a different story. Tuti had seen Takashi stay up until odd hours of the night and sleep all day, when he was between jobs, sometimes keeping this schedule up for days in a row. But when Takashi was working, he worked, and that was pretty much it. Tuti found this quirk endearing, in a way, just knowing that Takashi took his work so seriously, when he appeared almost detached a lot of the time - at first glance, anyway.
It had been a while since they had spoken though, and Tuti realized, with a slight pang of regret, that he no longer had a clear idea of what his friend’s schedule consisted of these days. They had both been so busy over the past few months that it had become nearly impossible to find the time to catch up on the phone, let alone to meet. Tuti knew that this was to be expected, given their tight schedules and careers of choice, but… it felt wrong, somehow that he had allowed himself to become so detached from his friend, to the point where he really had no idea what a typical day even meant for Takashi anymore.
So it had been a pleasant coincidence when Moriyama had said they would be heading to Harajuku, after the night’s *pnish* show had ended. After all, he had been thinking about Takashi a lot recently, and now he had the perfect excuse to call his friend. The fact that they would be in Takashi’s new neighborhood greatly increased the chances of them actually being able to see each other too, even factoring in the chances that his friend might already be out or asleep.
Harajuku had never been Tuti’s favorite area of the city either, but he had always thought that it was the perfect neighborhood for Takashi. It was young and vibrant, but had a certain level of darkness to it also, one that was a little more subtle, and seemed to have a bit more class than the darkness in the back streets around Shibuya, or some of the other trendier parts of Tokyo.
Harajuku hummed with an undercurrent of liveliness too, which was great, if not a little intimidating at times. Tuti wasn’t sure why, but he always felt like he had to dress a little nicer, and put his guard up a little more when *pnish* after-party gatherings ended up in Harajuku, and he wondered at the parallel this seemed to draw to his relationship with his former stage partner. Tuti didn’t like to think he was intimidated by anyone, but… there was something about Takashi, when he was being serious, especially, that made Tuti wonder if this wasn’t exactly the effect his friend had on him at times.
**
Tuti had been unexpectedly nervous when he picked up the phone, even though he told himself that there was nothing at all odd or strange about calling his friend at almost midnight on a Friday night, especially when he knew that Takashi would have his phone turned off if he was asleep anyway. Besides, for all he knew where they were headed was right around the corner from Takashi’s new place. Still, he had waited until he was alone in his apartment, having come back home to change clothes, to call his friend.
Tuti had just shrugged too, on the train, when Moriyama suggested calling Takashi, and he really wasn’t sure why. Maybe he wanted to reserve the right to not call after all if he didn’t feel like it? Or maybe something else, he wasn’t sure.
As soon as Takashi picked up the phone though, Tuti could tell that his friend was acting a little strange, and suddenly, figuring out the reason for his friend’s mood somehow took precedence over any weird feelings he’d been having. Then Takashi explained, a little too eagerly, the events of his evening, and after a few seconds Tuti realized something.
Takashi was drunk.
Not terribly so, but… enough to make Tuti almost laugh, just because this was not what he had been expecting at all. He knew that Takashi rarely drank unless he was out with a group, and so even though it made sense, hearing his friend’s story, it was still just surprising, finding Takashi home alone and in this state. And while he was amused, he also really hoped he hadn’t made a mistake in calling.
Because Takashi had agreed to come out, but… he really hadn’t seemed all that happy about it. Which puzzled Tuti, because he was sure that Takashi would have no problem telling him he didn’t want to go out, if that was the case. Takashi’s reaction had just been strange, and Tuti wasn’t sure how he should take it. His friend had seemed cautious…and almost apprehensive, though he had agreed immediately to meet him and his friends at the bar.
Tuti had been able to tell from the tone of Takashi’s voice when he answered the phone that there was probably something on his friend’s mind tonight, and so he figured that this was likely the explanation for some of his reactions. Takashi had long since stopped hiding his moods from Tuti, and Tuti was grateful for this, even if Takashi still didn’t necessarily like to talk about what was bothering him all the time. At least not until he was ready, and Tuti knew that when that time came, Takashi rarely held anything back from him. It felt really good too, this level of trust he knew Takashi placed in him.
And it really wasn’t that Tuti felt he wasn’t able to place this same level of trust in Takashi, it was more just that, in general, Tuti liked to work things out on his own. Even when he knew people were more than happy to listen, it just seemed… wrong, somehow, to talk about how he was feeling most of the time. Tuti much preferred to listen, than to talk, when it came down to being serious about things, he figured. Takashi accepted this too, which Tuti appreciated, and he knew that the balance it created for their friendship, and for their partnership, when they had been on stage together was important.
It had been different lately though, since they hadn’t seen much of each other, and Tuti was still thinking about this, when he hung up the phone several minutes later, surprised to find that his nervousness hadn’t completely faded yet. He wasn’t sure if it was Takashi’s attitude, or the fact that he hadn’t seen his friend in so long, or maybe a little of both that was making him feel this way, but… He knew he would have to get rid of this feeling quickly, unless he wanted to guarantee a less than pleasant evening.
Tuti really hated sometimes how Takashi seemed to bring out all of his insecurities at once, for absolutely no reason. Somewhere, deep down, Tuti figured that he must have some kind of strange hang-up when it came to his friend, though he was never able to pinpoint exactly what this was. Takashi had certainly never done anything that would rationally contribute to Tuti’s feeling almost… inadequate around his friend at times.
Tuti could feel sometimes though, just slightly, that Takashi seemed almost disappointed in him, when they were together, and it left him feeling like he had let his friend down, though he really had no idea how or why. It was just a glance here and there, a slight shift in his demeanor, but… Tuti could see it. It was noticeable, and when Tuti thought about it, he wasn’t really all that surprised.
Because he had always known that Takashi had a lot of expectations. For everything. And he liked that about him, that he wasn’t complacent, that he was picky, especially when it came to how he spent his time, and with whom he spent it.
So when he was able to sense his friend’s dissatisfaction, and when he could tell that Takashi wasn’t content, even though he told himself he was being entirely too dramatic about the whole thing, Tuti just couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he just wasn’t cut out for his role in Takashi’s life. If it weren’t somehow inevitable that he would pale in comparison to his friend’s expectations. Because he knew that those expectations were sometimes set precariously high. Tuti guessed that just now on the phone had been one of these moments, and that this was probably why he was left feeling strange about the evening now.
Sometimes Tuti felt like everything about his relationship with Takashi was strange though. He knew that they were an odd pair. He knew that people who were acquainted with both of them regarded their friendship with interest and sometimes amusement, just because it was so obvious how different they were from each other. Takashi’s other friends were trendier, and more stylish than Tuti. They skirted the edges a bit more than Tuti did, and so did Takashi, for that matter. Tuti’s other friends were less charismatic, less likely to attract attention. They had less of a reputation, and less of a tendency to compete with Tuti for the spotlight.
Maybe for these reasons, their friendship had always carried the slightest hint of excitement and danger to it. It had been unexpected, the bond they had formed. It was unexpected too, the fact that they were still as close as they were. Tuti really wasn’t used to feeling close to anyone, outside of his small circle of friends. And though Takashi had never made it into that circle, Tuti couldn’t deny that he felt closer to him sometimes than he did to the friends he had known for years. Even if they went weeks without speaking to each other.
Maybe this was why Tuti spent so much time thinking about things like this, even though he knew that it was silly, and even though he knew that none of his reasons for feeling insecure should matter; that it shouldn’t matter to him, at all, what anyone else thought, or how their relationship was perceived. Because in the end he just liked Takashi. He liked spending time with him, and he had no reason to think that his friend felt any differently.
Especially tonight. Because Takashi had agreed to come out. He had agreed because he wanted to see him. He had even said that he wanted to see him, that he was happy that Tuti had called.
Still, Tuti knew that Takashi had a tendency to act a little weird when he was drunk, and inevitably Tuti would be left feeling uncomfortable, even if he was able to get over his stupid insecurities. Maybe it was that side of Nagayan that accounted for most of the nervousness that he was still feeling right now.
Because though Takashi was always a little flirtatious, and Tuti had come to accept this about his friend, his jokes and attempts to win attention from those around him somehow acquired a dangerous edge to them when his inhibitions were lowered.
And it was weird that it bothered Tuti; he had, after all, pretty much mastered the art of dishing out witty comebacks in any situation. By all rights, he should be able to compete evenly with Takashi especially in this area. Somehow though, when Takashi showed this side of himself to Tuti, he found that he was left speechless every single time.
Even when he was expecting it, and even when he tried to prepare himself beforehand, he just found that he really couldn’t compete at all with Takashi. He couldn’t compete, and he really didn’t want to, and so… He usually tried to avoid situations where being forced to allow Takashi to embarrass him would be inevitable.
Like tonight.
Though in this case, he figured that his desire to see his friend outweighed any misgivings he had about the situation being ripe for…disaster? He almost laughed at how serious he was making the whole thing sound. He probably should give Takashi the benefit of the doubt sometimes, he realized, with a slight chuckle.
He wondered about something else too though. Putting Takashi’s flirtatious streak aside, it would be a large group of people at the bar, many of whom Takashi would have never met. Tuti was sure Takashi could charm the whole group if he wanted to, but… if he didn’t want to, well…
And it wasn’t so much that he cared if Takashi pissed anyone off, it was more that he didn’t like to see his friend misunderstood, and… he knew that his attention would be divided at best tonight. Tuti wouldn’t be able to be as attentive as he wanted to be, and…well, he just hoped everything would be ok.
For as much time as Tuti spent socializing in groups, he honestly wondered at how easy it was for him to imagine an evening like this just unraveling into… disaster. There was that word again.
Tuti really, really needed to relax, he was thinking, but… his mind kept wandering back to Takashi.
Suddenly though, he realized that he really needed to hurry, unless he wanted his friend to arrive at the bar before him. Even now, he figured the rest of the people would already be there, since he was one of the few people who had gone home first to change.
Tuti hurriedly grabbed the first shirt he could find out of his closet, thinking that it had probably been silly, his coming home at all, even if it was sort of on the way.
His nervousness faded just a little as he realized that everything else aside, he really was happy that Takashi was coming out. It didn’t matter in the end what kind of mood his friend was in, or if things were a little awkward at first. It also didn’t matter that this was probably not the best opportunity to catch up with him, because Tuti figured he should just take what he could get.
That, and he should call Takashi more often, he figured, as he rushed out of his apartment, hearing the door slam a little too loudly behind him in his haste.
**
Tuti had been surprised to feel his breath catch a little when Takashi came through the door of the bar promptly at the time they had decided on. Tuti had arrived shortly before, having just barely made the train, and had managed to find his friends quickly. He had happily settled into one of the room’s small tables adjacent to the bar, when he noticed Takashi. His friend had stopped just inside the doorway, glancing first to the left and then to the right, his eyes scanning the room slowly.
Takashi’s self-confident air was notably absent in that moment, maybe because he hadn’t located Tuti’s table yet, and Tuti was enjoying seeing him unguarded like this for a few seconds. He recognized the slight flush of alcohol in his friend’s cheeks, though his face was almost hidden by an extremely large pair of sunglasses, which were tinted slightly brown. Tuti chuckled a little at the fact that Takashi was pretty much the only person he knew who would wear sunglasses inside a bar. At night.
And really… Tuti usually didn’t notice things like this, but… as Takashi shrugged out of his khaki military jacket, which was just a little too stylish for Tuti’s taste, revealing tanned arms that were even more toned than Tuti had remembered, he really couldn’t help but stare. Had Takashi always been this… well, sexy? That was definitely the word that came to mind again and again as Tuti tried to think of a more appropriate way to describe his friend, and eventually he gave up, as his eyes drifted to Takashi’s faded camouflage-print tank top.
The shirt clung to him without being too tight, the browns and greens and blacks blending together in a pattern that called attention, but not too loudly, to the curving muscles of Takashi’s upper body. Tuti watched his friend’s chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath and shoved his hands into the pockets of his snug dark grey jeans, which were faded and bleached lighter in asymmetrical patterns that ran down his legs. He was wearing some sort of weird laces tied loosely around his wrists too, that somehow complemented the rest of his ensemble. Tuti was a little in awe, especially since he had just called the guy no more than a half hour ago. It wasn’t as if Takashi could have spent hours getting ready. Maybe he had never changed from his previous outing, but… Tuti had long since stopped wondering how Takashi always seemed to appear dressed for a photo shoot.
Tuti noticed too, that there were quite a few other people whose heads had turned in Takashi’s direction. He was almost jealous for a second, which surprised him, until he noticed that Takashi was walking towards his table. Tuti immediately tried to forget about everything he had just been thinking, praying that the heat he felt in his face was just due to the abnormally strong drink he had just downed half of, but guessing otherwise.
He was relieved to find an opening in the conversation at the table, and he diverted his attention there, though his pulse was hammering hard through his veins, as he struggled to meet his friend’s eyes a few seconds later. Tuti swallowed hard, and smiled big before he motioned his friend over to the only empty space at the table, which just happened to put three people in between them, but… it couldn’t be helped. He would find a way to make his way over to Takashi later. It was kind of nice even, because the extra time and distance would give him the opportunity to clear his head, and figure out what to say to his friend too.
Takashi seemed fine, after all, Tuti was thinking after a few minutes. He was relieved to see his friend started chatting with the guys on either side of him, and he figured that he had just been worrying about nothing, as usual.
**
And then… Tuti wasn’t sure exactly how it had happened, but before he’d had a chance to even properly greet his friend, or introduce him to anyone, Takashi was just gone. Tuti tried to sneak a look around every few minutes, surreptitiously scanning the area for his friend, without making himself appear too obviously bothered. Finally Tuti realized that Takashi must have gone up to the bar. Tuti waited for him to come back, figuring as he always did, that if Takashi had removed himself from the group it was because he needed his space, but…as time slipped away and the night got longer, and longer, Tuti began to wonder if there wasn’t another explanation.
It wasn’t that Tuti was angry, or that he thought Takashi was angry. His friend was probably just in one of his moods. He could have predicted something like this happening from their phone conversation. Tuti knew that sometimes Takashi got tired of socializing, too and… He had already been out once tonight, and was probably physically exhausted, so… Tuti just hoped Takashi wasn’t doing this on purpose. He knew that he had been less than attentive at first, and so, he hoped that Takashi hadn’t felt like he had been ignoring him. He shrugged this thought off a little defensively though. There was no reason at all for him to assume that Takashi would feel the need to depend on him for attention anyway.
After all, he seemed to be enjoying himself perfectly fine right now, flirting openly with the guy sitting next to him at the bar, who looked like he had just stepped out of a Calvin Klein magazine ad. Or worse. Not to mention the bartender, who was hovering over both of them for reasons Tuti was sure had nothing to do with the tips they’d be leaving when they left.
Tuti wanted to sigh, but refrained. He was used to this, after all. Takashi always attracted attention no matter where they went, and unless he was otherwise distracted, he found that his friend was usually quite eager to bask in the glow of the attention being paid to him. This had always puzzled Tuti though, because in the end, he knew that Takashi, by choice, really didn’t make friends easily, and that for being popular, and having lots of acquaintances, he rarely remembered the names or faces of people he wasn’t close with, even if he’d met the person several times. So it was a little annoying to Tuti, how tonight, and just in general, Takashi seemed to be so openly willing to enjoy attention from a person he would never have any desire to see again, even if it meant ignoring whoever he was with at the time.
Tuti watched Takashi, and his new friends, and wondered for a second, what it was that seemed to cause Takashi to have this effect on people. Because Takashi was a nice guy, for sure, but… Tuti had just never known anyone who could draw people to him as effortlessly as Takashi seemed to be able to.
For one thing, he figured that part of it was that Takashi really wasn’t shy about anything at all. He was guarded, certainly, around people he didn’t know, but he wasn’t shy, and despite closing parts of himself off, he still managed to make himself just available enough to avoid scaring people off, and just standoffish enough to remain intriguing, Tuti guessed.
It almost seemed unconscious too, the way Takashi charmed everyone so easily, but Tuti wasn’t sure. Sometimes he got the distinct impression that Takashi’s interactions were more calculated than his friend let on. If he didn’t know better, he’d say that Takashi was even a little manipulative at times. Or maybe that was too harsh of a word. Maybe it was just that Takashi knew what he wanted, and didn’t mind doing what he needed to, to influence the people around him, if it meant helping him reach his goal.
Tuti watched Takashi for a few seconds longer, as he simultaneously charmed his model friend, the bartender, and Tuti himself a little, before he decided he had to stop watching this, and refilled his drink. If Takashi wanted attention that badly, he could take it from sources other than himself right now, Tuti figured. He tried his best to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of his head that was telling him to go up to the bar, and drag his friend, by force, if necessary, back to the table. Instead he just continued to refill his drink, and tried to focus his energy and his thoughts elsewhere. He was kind of curious anyway, to see how long it would take Takashi to remember he was there. So he waited…
**
It was late. Tuti glanced at his watch again, knowing that he had to go and talk to Takashi now, or it would be too late, they would both be too drunk, and it would probably end badly, with one of them stalking away after accusing the other of something or other, when really, Tuti blamed the state of the evening right now on bad luck, and poor communication, more than anything else. Then again, maybe Takashi was just being his usual flirty self, and hadn’t even noticed that he and Tuti hadn’t said much more than a simple greeting to each other all night. And even if Takashi had noticed, maybe Tuti was the only one who found it weird anyway. Maybe Tuti was just crazy to think that there was something really wrong and off about everything tonight.
But regardless, he really couldn’t believe that Takashi hadn’t come back to the table once yet. He didn’t want to be rude, and he didn’t want to interrupt the bonding session Takashi was having with his new friend, and had been having, he might add, for a very, very long time, but… he really was tired of waiting. He had invited Takashi out because he wanted to see him, and… Tuti couldn’t help turning around for what felt like the millionth time, to see if this guy would ever stop throwing himself at Takashi long enough so that he could walk over without looking like a complete fool.
And then Tuti figured that it must have been the alcohol fueling his reaction because suddenly, he had the insane urge to rip this guys arm off if he had to watch him touch his friend one more time. Takashi was leaning forward on the bar, with his arms folded in front of him, and the guy next to him was freely exploring his back, and his arms, and his neck, in a half hearted massage, that was clearly just an excuse for the kind of groping that was usually not seen in public between two guys. Takashi wasn’t responding at all though, and Tuti wondered if he was asleep, which would be a little strange, but… understandable, because this was Takashi, and Takashi was constantly exhausted for reasons that sometimes eluded Tuti.
Tuti literally felt his blood rushing in his ears as his heart pounded harder and harder the longer he watched this go on. He found himself suddenly feeling almost protective of Takashi, even though he figured his friend had practically been asking for this all along, and that if he was awake, he was probably enjoying it. But when Tuti saw the guy’s hand start to creep underneath the bottom of Takashi’s shirt though, he decided that he’d really just had enough. He pushed himself up and away from the table, crossing the distance quickly, until he was standing directly behind Takashi.
He said Takashi’s name loudly, and when he got no response, he turned his head, but couldn’t look into the stranger’s eyes next to him.
“I think it’s time for me to take my friend home, ok?” It was more a statement than a question, and Tuti forced the strange set of arms away, as he pushed his way in between this guy and his friend, crouching a little so that he was level with Takashi’s face.
Tuti shook Takashi’s shoulders, a little concerned when he still got no response, and ignored whatever ridiculous comments were being made to his back. That is, he would have ignored them, if he could hear them. The slow burn that had started in his stomach when his hand had made contact with Takashi’s warm skin seemed to be spreading throughout his whole body, and suddenly Tuti was feeling a lot more drunk than he figured he should be.
Takashi’s eyes opened, slowly and he blinked, lifting his head slightly.
He made no move to sit up though, and Tuti could tell that Takashi was now very, very drunk. He mumbled something that may or may not have been “Tuti”, and closed his eyes again, his head falling back down on his arms. Tuti blinked, but after a second he realized that regardless of how strange and dizzy he was feeling right now, and regardless of the strange correlation between this feeling, and the warm body next to him, he would have to put that aside, because it was clear that Takashi needed his help right now.
Tuti let out the breath he had been holding, and slipped his arm around his friend’s waist. “Come on, let’s go,” he whispered, and listened as Takashi whined something so quietly Tuti could barely hear him. He attempted to help his friend into a standing position, but Takashi was making it really hard. Tuti cut off whatever comment of protest was about to come from the guy next to them with a glare and an “accidental” shove with his shoulder as he half helped, half dragged Takashi and himself towards his table, where his friends were still sitting, some of them already looking over at the scene that was beginning to unfold.
Things from this point on happened in a kind of blur, as Tuti’s sense of panic began to take over, when he realized how far away Takashi was right now. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of this right now, not when they were still in the bar… he knew that he really needed to get Takashi home.
Standing in front of the table, Tuti grinned and tried not to look as embarrassed as he felt, having Takashi practically draped over his shoulder, and tried not to let his face give away how worried he was about his friend as he collected his belongings. Several eyebrows were raised in his direction, but before anyone could say anything, Tuti was laughing, loudly.
“Sorry to cut this night short, but…” And he glanced down at Takashi, who was quickly turning to dead weight under his arm, “I’m really not sure he’ll make it much longer.”
**
Outside the bar, the brisk spring air felt refreshing, and Tuti paused for a second and took a deep breath, loosening his grip on his friend slightly. Takashi’s weight was actually much less than Tuti would have guessed it to be, and he found that it was becoming easier to support him, the longer he had to. Still, Tuti figured that outside of the cramped, smoky bar Takashi would sober up a bit, and light or not, Tuti really wasn’t planning on carrying him all the way home. To his surprise though, as soon as he loosened his grip, Takashi dropped to his knees and promptly emptied the contents of his stomach onto the sidewalk.
Tuti was startled. It had been a long time since he’d witnessed something like that, and he had really never expected Takashi to be one who would drink to the point of making himself sick. He wasn’t judging his friend, he was just… surprised. Takashi was always very much in control; Tuti guessed that this had a little to do with how completely wrong it seemed for him to be witnessing this right now.
More importantly though, he was worried, and was growing gradually more so when he got no response, not even a glance from Takashi, as he crouched next to him, and asked him if he was ok. He needed Takashi to tell him where his apartment was too, if he was going to walk him home, he realized. Tuti tried a few more times, before he had no choice but to give up.
Luckily, Tuti still had Kimeru’s number in his phone. He felt a little silly, calling someone he didn’t know that well so late, but there really wasn’t anyone else he could think of quickly who would be able to help him right now. He was relieved when Kimeru picked up on the second ring. From the sounds in the background, he seemed to be sufficiently distracted and Tuti was grateful not to have to explain too many of the details, other than the fact that he needed Takashi’s address, which left him feeling a little stupid, because he figured he really shouldn’t have to be asking for such basic information about his friend. With any luck, Kimeru was drunk too though, and maybe wouldn’t even remember this later.
Without realizing it, Tuti must have sounded like he was panicking though, because Kimeru kept telling him to calm down, and that Takashi would be fine, though he used some strange nickname for him that Tuti had never heard before. Kimeru had even offered to come over, if Tuti was really worried, but Tuti politely declined, making a lame joke about Takashi’s condition being his fault anyway, before thanking him and hanging up the phone.
He was sure Takashi would never forgive him if he made a big deal about this to one of his friends anyway. At least this way, he would be able to assure him later that he had gotten him home in one piece, and discreetly at that. He hoped so anyway.
During Tuti’s phone conversation, he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of his friend, mostly because he was afraid he was going to be sick again, but also because he seemed to be quickly approaching the point of passing out completely, and Tuti wasn’t sure if he trusted him not to fall over and hurt himself. It just seemed safer at this point to keep his arm around his friend, and so after Tuti hung up the phone, he found himself sitting there, staring at Takashi, and waiting for what would happen next, while trying to figure out what to do.
Tuti was surprised at his ability to remain relatively calm right now. Thinking on his feet, unless he was on stage or in front of a camera, was not really something that he considered himself to be very good at. Somehow though, his need to protect his friend was overriding everything else right now, which, Tuti figured, was a good thing.
He would be angry with Takashi too, for being so irresponsible, if it wasn’t so distressing seeing him like this. There were a million thoughts running through Tuti’s mind but they all seemed to end in the same place, and that was with Tuti assuring himself that he had to get Takashi home, safely, in bed, and that then everything would be ok. He hoped he wasn’t being overly optimistic. Because there were darker thoughts in his mind too, thoughts that sobered him up 100%, even though he really wasn’t feeling very drunk at all anymore. Stories that he’d heard about alcohol poisoning, and… other things he didn’t want to think about. He knew that his friend’s tolerance level for alcohol was fairly weak, but he hoped that even if he was this sick, he probably hadn’t had enough to drink to put him in any real danger. It was a scary thought though.
They were both sitting on the pavement now. Takashi was pressed against him, his head resting limply against Tuti’s shoulder, and his breathing was steady, if a little labored from his efforts to stop throwing up. Ridiculous, the state they were both in, Tuti was thinking, feeling the warmth radiating through Takashi’s damp shirt, which was sticking to his arm now, since they hadn’t moved in a good ten minutes. It was cool outside, and Tuti was surprised that his friend was still flushed and sweating. He really didn’t know if it was a bad idea to try to get Takashi on his feet right now or not, but he had been waiting for a while, for his friend to seem ok enough to move, and when he was still for a few minutes, Tuti figured this was as good a time as any.
After thinking for a minute about what Kimeru had told him, Tuti realized that Takashi’s new apartment really wasn’t that far away, which made sense with what Takashi had told him earlier in the evening. He should be able to find it, despite the fact that outside of the main streets, Tuti wasn’t terribly familiar with the area. After digging the keys out of his friend’s pocket, and pulling them both into a standing position, Tuti figured they were good to go. Or as good as they would ever be.
One foot after the other, he kept telling himself, as he struggled just a little with Takashi’s weight for the three seemingly very, very long blocks that it took to get to his apartment.
Tuti was relieved once they were finally inside, as he closed the door to the apartment behind them, but… as it turned out, this was just the beginning of a very long, and very bad night, one that Tuti really wished later that he could permanently block certain parts of from his memory.
**
Thanks for reading... ^_^
Author: analine
Pairing: TutixNagayan
Word Count: 6,143
Chapter: 2/?
Warnings: yaoi...angst?
Rating: PG-13 for now (basically just for situations involving alcohol and brief language)
Notes: This takes place sometime in the early spring, a few months after the end of the 4th musical. I think this will be a few more chapters than I originally thought...maybe 5 or 6? I got a little carried away with Tuti here, and so the next chapter will be Tuti also. :) Thank you very much for the feedback and comments on Chapter One... I'm very curious to see what you think of this chapter too! ^_^
Disclaimer: No basis in reality. Possible incorrect retelling of events? I'm bad with timelines and stuff like that, so... ^_^
Thanks to kooriyoukai for her help... :)
x-posted to tutixnagayan
( Chapter One )
It was late already, and Tuti was sure that if his friend wasn’t already out somewhere by this point in the evening, then he would be asleep, but… he figured he had to at least try calling him anyway.
Takashi had recently taken a small part in a film, but Tuti really had no idea if the shooting had finished for that yet or not. He did know his friend well enough by now though to know that if it hadn’t, there would be a good chance his friend would be asleep already. A couple of weeks into any project, working long hours every day, and Tuti knew that Takashi would be doing literally nothing but spending time on the set, and sleeping. When he wasn’t working, it was a different story. Tuti had seen Takashi stay up until odd hours of the night and sleep all day, when he was between jobs, sometimes keeping this schedule up for days in a row. But when Takashi was working, he worked, and that was pretty much it. Tuti found this quirk endearing, in a way, just knowing that Takashi took his work so seriously, when he appeared almost detached a lot of the time - at first glance, anyway.
It had been a while since they had spoken though, and Tuti realized, with a slight pang of regret, that he no longer had a clear idea of what his friend’s schedule consisted of these days. They had both been so busy over the past few months that it had become nearly impossible to find the time to catch up on the phone, let alone to meet. Tuti knew that this was to be expected, given their tight schedules and careers of choice, but… it felt wrong, somehow that he had allowed himself to become so detached from his friend, to the point where he really had no idea what a typical day even meant for Takashi anymore.
So it had been a pleasant coincidence when Moriyama had said they would be heading to Harajuku, after the night’s *pnish* show had ended. After all, he had been thinking about Takashi a lot recently, and now he had the perfect excuse to call his friend. The fact that they would be in Takashi’s new neighborhood greatly increased the chances of them actually being able to see each other too, even factoring in the chances that his friend might already be out or asleep.
Harajuku had never been Tuti’s favorite area of the city either, but he had always thought that it was the perfect neighborhood for Takashi. It was young and vibrant, but had a certain level of darkness to it also, one that was a little more subtle, and seemed to have a bit more class than the darkness in the back streets around Shibuya, or some of the other trendier parts of Tokyo.
Harajuku hummed with an undercurrent of liveliness too, which was great, if not a little intimidating at times. Tuti wasn’t sure why, but he always felt like he had to dress a little nicer, and put his guard up a little more when *pnish* after-party gatherings ended up in Harajuku, and he wondered at the parallel this seemed to draw to his relationship with his former stage partner. Tuti didn’t like to think he was intimidated by anyone, but… there was something about Takashi, when he was being serious, especially, that made Tuti wonder if this wasn’t exactly the effect his friend had on him at times.
**
Tuti had been unexpectedly nervous when he picked up the phone, even though he told himself that there was nothing at all odd or strange about calling his friend at almost midnight on a Friday night, especially when he knew that Takashi would have his phone turned off if he was asleep anyway. Besides, for all he knew where they were headed was right around the corner from Takashi’s new place. Still, he had waited until he was alone in his apartment, having come back home to change clothes, to call his friend.
Tuti had just shrugged too, on the train, when Moriyama suggested calling Takashi, and he really wasn’t sure why. Maybe he wanted to reserve the right to not call after all if he didn’t feel like it? Or maybe something else, he wasn’t sure.
As soon as Takashi picked up the phone though, Tuti could tell that his friend was acting a little strange, and suddenly, figuring out the reason for his friend’s mood somehow took precedence over any weird feelings he’d been having. Then Takashi explained, a little too eagerly, the events of his evening, and after a few seconds Tuti realized something.
Takashi was drunk.
Not terribly so, but… enough to make Tuti almost laugh, just because this was not what he had been expecting at all. He knew that Takashi rarely drank unless he was out with a group, and so even though it made sense, hearing his friend’s story, it was still just surprising, finding Takashi home alone and in this state. And while he was amused, he also really hoped he hadn’t made a mistake in calling.
Because Takashi had agreed to come out, but… he really hadn’t seemed all that happy about it. Which puzzled Tuti, because he was sure that Takashi would have no problem telling him he didn’t want to go out, if that was the case. Takashi’s reaction had just been strange, and Tuti wasn’t sure how he should take it. His friend had seemed cautious…and almost apprehensive, though he had agreed immediately to meet him and his friends at the bar.
Tuti had been able to tell from the tone of Takashi’s voice when he answered the phone that there was probably something on his friend’s mind tonight, and so he figured that this was likely the explanation for some of his reactions. Takashi had long since stopped hiding his moods from Tuti, and Tuti was grateful for this, even if Takashi still didn’t necessarily like to talk about what was bothering him all the time. At least not until he was ready, and Tuti knew that when that time came, Takashi rarely held anything back from him. It felt really good too, this level of trust he knew Takashi placed in him.
And it really wasn’t that Tuti felt he wasn’t able to place this same level of trust in Takashi, it was more just that, in general, Tuti liked to work things out on his own. Even when he knew people were more than happy to listen, it just seemed… wrong, somehow, to talk about how he was feeling most of the time. Tuti much preferred to listen, than to talk, when it came down to being serious about things, he figured. Takashi accepted this too, which Tuti appreciated, and he knew that the balance it created for their friendship, and for their partnership, when they had been on stage together was important.
It had been different lately though, since they hadn’t seen much of each other, and Tuti was still thinking about this, when he hung up the phone several minutes later, surprised to find that his nervousness hadn’t completely faded yet. He wasn’t sure if it was Takashi’s attitude, or the fact that he hadn’t seen his friend in so long, or maybe a little of both that was making him feel this way, but… He knew he would have to get rid of this feeling quickly, unless he wanted to guarantee a less than pleasant evening.
Tuti really hated sometimes how Takashi seemed to bring out all of his insecurities at once, for absolutely no reason. Somewhere, deep down, Tuti figured that he must have some kind of strange hang-up when it came to his friend, though he was never able to pinpoint exactly what this was. Takashi had certainly never done anything that would rationally contribute to Tuti’s feeling almost… inadequate around his friend at times.
Tuti could feel sometimes though, just slightly, that Takashi seemed almost disappointed in him, when they were together, and it left him feeling like he had let his friend down, though he really had no idea how or why. It was just a glance here and there, a slight shift in his demeanor, but… Tuti could see it. It was noticeable, and when Tuti thought about it, he wasn’t really all that surprised.
Because he had always known that Takashi had a lot of expectations. For everything. And he liked that about him, that he wasn’t complacent, that he was picky, especially when it came to how he spent his time, and with whom he spent it.
So when he was able to sense his friend’s dissatisfaction, and when he could tell that Takashi wasn’t content, even though he told himself he was being entirely too dramatic about the whole thing, Tuti just couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he just wasn’t cut out for his role in Takashi’s life. If it weren’t somehow inevitable that he would pale in comparison to his friend’s expectations. Because he knew that those expectations were sometimes set precariously high. Tuti guessed that just now on the phone had been one of these moments, and that this was probably why he was left feeling strange about the evening now.
Sometimes Tuti felt like everything about his relationship with Takashi was strange though. He knew that they were an odd pair. He knew that people who were acquainted with both of them regarded their friendship with interest and sometimes amusement, just because it was so obvious how different they were from each other. Takashi’s other friends were trendier, and more stylish than Tuti. They skirted the edges a bit more than Tuti did, and so did Takashi, for that matter. Tuti’s other friends were less charismatic, less likely to attract attention. They had less of a reputation, and less of a tendency to compete with Tuti for the spotlight.
Maybe for these reasons, their friendship had always carried the slightest hint of excitement and danger to it. It had been unexpected, the bond they had formed. It was unexpected too, the fact that they were still as close as they were. Tuti really wasn’t used to feeling close to anyone, outside of his small circle of friends. And though Takashi had never made it into that circle, Tuti couldn’t deny that he felt closer to him sometimes than he did to the friends he had known for years. Even if they went weeks without speaking to each other.
Maybe this was why Tuti spent so much time thinking about things like this, even though he knew that it was silly, and even though he knew that none of his reasons for feeling insecure should matter; that it shouldn’t matter to him, at all, what anyone else thought, or how their relationship was perceived. Because in the end he just liked Takashi. He liked spending time with him, and he had no reason to think that his friend felt any differently.
Especially tonight. Because Takashi had agreed to come out. He had agreed because he wanted to see him. He had even said that he wanted to see him, that he was happy that Tuti had called.
Still, Tuti knew that Takashi had a tendency to act a little weird when he was drunk, and inevitably Tuti would be left feeling uncomfortable, even if he was able to get over his stupid insecurities. Maybe it was that side of Nagayan that accounted for most of the nervousness that he was still feeling right now.
Because though Takashi was always a little flirtatious, and Tuti had come to accept this about his friend, his jokes and attempts to win attention from those around him somehow acquired a dangerous edge to them when his inhibitions were lowered.
And it was weird that it bothered Tuti; he had, after all, pretty much mastered the art of dishing out witty comebacks in any situation. By all rights, he should be able to compete evenly with Takashi especially in this area. Somehow though, when Takashi showed this side of himself to Tuti, he found that he was left speechless every single time.
Even when he was expecting it, and even when he tried to prepare himself beforehand, he just found that he really couldn’t compete at all with Takashi. He couldn’t compete, and he really didn’t want to, and so… He usually tried to avoid situations where being forced to allow Takashi to embarrass him would be inevitable.
Like tonight.
Though in this case, he figured that his desire to see his friend outweighed any misgivings he had about the situation being ripe for…disaster? He almost laughed at how serious he was making the whole thing sound. He probably should give Takashi the benefit of the doubt sometimes, he realized, with a slight chuckle.
He wondered about something else too though. Putting Takashi’s flirtatious streak aside, it would be a large group of people at the bar, many of whom Takashi would have never met. Tuti was sure Takashi could charm the whole group if he wanted to, but… if he didn’t want to, well…
And it wasn’t so much that he cared if Takashi pissed anyone off, it was more that he didn’t like to see his friend misunderstood, and… he knew that his attention would be divided at best tonight. Tuti wouldn’t be able to be as attentive as he wanted to be, and…well, he just hoped everything would be ok.
For as much time as Tuti spent socializing in groups, he honestly wondered at how easy it was for him to imagine an evening like this just unraveling into… disaster. There was that word again.
Tuti really, really needed to relax, he was thinking, but… his mind kept wandering back to Takashi.
Suddenly though, he realized that he really needed to hurry, unless he wanted his friend to arrive at the bar before him. Even now, he figured the rest of the people would already be there, since he was one of the few people who had gone home first to change.
Tuti hurriedly grabbed the first shirt he could find out of his closet, thinking that it had probably been silly, his coming home at all, even if it was sort of on the way.
His nervousness faded just a little as he realized that everything else aside, he really was happy that Takashi was coming out. It didn’t matter in the end what kind of mood his friend was in, or if things were a little awkward at first. It also didn’t matter that this was probably not the best opportunity to catch up with him, because Tuti figured he should just take what he could get.
That, and he should call Takashi more often, he figured, as he rushed out of his apartment, hearing the door slam a little too loudly behind him in his haste.
**
Tuti had been surprised to feel his breath catch a little when Takashi came through the door of the bar promptly at the time they had decided on. Tuti had arrived shortly before, having just barely made the train, and had managed to find his friends quickly. He had happily settled into one of the room’s small tables adjacent to the bar, when he noticed Takashi. His friend had stopped just inside the doorway, glancing first to the left and then to the right, his eyes scanning the room slowly.
Takashi’s self-confident air was notably absent in that moment, maybe because he hadn’t located Tuti’s table yet, and Tuti was enjoying seeing him unguarded like this for a few seconds. He recognized the slight flush of alcohol in his friend’s cheeks, though his face was almost hidden by an extremely large pair of sunglasses, which were tinted slightly brown. Tuti chuckled a little at the fact that Takashi was pretty much the only person he knew who would wear sunglasses inside a bar. At night.
And really… Tuti usually didn’t notice things like this, but… as Takashi shrugged out of his khaki military jacket, which was just a little too stylish for Tuti’s taste, revealing tanned arms that were even more toned than Tuti had remembered, he really couldn’t help but stare. Had Takashi always been this… well, sexy? That was definitely the word that came to mind again and again as Tuti tried to think of a more appropriate way to describe his friend, and eventually he gave up, as his eyes drifted to Takashi’s faded camouflage-print tank top.
The shirt clung to him without being too tight, the browns and greens and blacks blending together in a pattern that called attention, but not too loudly, to the curving muscles of Takashi’s upper body. Tuti watched his friend’s chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath and shoved his hands into the pockets of his snug dark grey jeans, which were faded and bleached lighter in asymmetrical patterns that ran down his legs. He was wearing some sort of weird laces tied loosely around his wrists too, that somehow complemented the rest of his ensemble. Tuti was a little in awe, especially since he had just called the guy no more than a half hour ago. It wasn’t as if Takashi could have spent hours getting ready. Maybe he had never changed from his previous outing, but… Tuti had long since stopped wondering how Takashi always seemed to appear dressed for a photo shoot.
Tuti noticed too, that there were quite a few other people whose heads had turned in Takashi’s direction. He was almost jealous for a second, which surprised him, until he noticed that Takashi was walking towards his table. Tuti immediately tried to forget about everything he had just been thinking, praying that the heat he felt in his face was just due to the abnormally strong drink he had just downed half of, but guessing otherwise.
He was relieved to find an opening in the conversation at the table, and he diverted his attention there, though his pulse was hammering hard through his veins, as he struggled to meet his friend’s eyes a few seconds later. Tuti swallowed hard, and smiled big before he motioned his friend over to the only empty space at the table, which just happened to put three people in between them, but… it couldn’t be helped. He would find a way to make his way over to Takashi later. It was kind of nice even, because the extra time and distance would give him the opportunity to clear his head, and figure out what to say to his friend too.
Takashi seemed fine, after all, Tuti was thinking after a few minutes. He was relieved to see his friend started chatting with the guys on either side of him, and he figured that he had just been worrying about nothing, as usual.
**
And then… Tuti wasn’t sure exactly how it had happened, but before he’d had a chance to even properly greet his friend, or introduce him to anyone, Takashi was just gone. Tuti tried to sneak a look around every few minutes, surreptitiously scanning the area for his friend, without making himself appear too obviously bothered. Finally Tuti realized that Takashi must have gone up to the bar. Tuti waited for him to come back, figuring as he always did, that if Takashi had removed himself from the group it was because he needed his space, but…as time slipped away and the night got longer, and longer, Tuti began to wonder if there wasn’t another explanation.
It wasn’t that Tuti was angry, or that he thought Takashi was angry. His friend was probably just in one of his moods. He could have predicted something like this happening from their phone conversation. Tuti knew that sometimes Takashi got tired of socializing, too and… He had already been out once tonight, and was probably physically exhausted, so… Tuti just hoped Takashi wasn’t doing this on purpose. He knew that he had been less than attentive at first, and so, he hoped that Takashi hadn’t felt like he had been ignoring him. He shrugged this thought off a little defensively though. There was no reason at all for him to assume that Takashi would feel the need to depend on him for attention anyway.
After all, he seemed to be enjoying himself perfectly fine right now, flirting openly with the guy sitting next to him at the bar, who looked like he had just stepped out of a Calvin Klein magazine ad. Or worse. Not to mention the bartender, who was hovering over both of them for reasons Tuti was sure had nothing to do with the tips they’d be leaving when they left.
Tuti wanted to sigh, but refrained. He was used to this, after all. Takashi always attracted attention no matter where they went, and unless he was otherwise distracted, he found that his friend was usually quite eager to bask in the glow of the attention being paid to him. This had always puzzled Tuti though, because in the end, he knew that Takashi, by choice, really didn’t make friends easily, and that for being popular, and having lots of acquaintances, he rarely remembered the names or faces of people he wasn’t close with, even if he’d met the person several times. So it was a little annoying to Tuti, how tonight, and just in general, Takashi seemed to be so openly willing to enjoy attention from a person he would never have any desire to see again, even if it meant ignoring whoever he was with at the time.
Tuti watched Takashi, and his new friends, and wondered for a second, what it was that seemed to cause Takashi to have this effect on people. Because Takashi was a nice guy, for sure, but… Tuti had just never known anyone who could draw people to him as effortlessly as Takashi seemed to be able to.
For one thing, he figured that part of it was that Takashi really wasn’t shy about anything at all. He was guarded, certainly, around people he didn’t know, but he wasn’t shy, and despite closing parts of himself off, he still managed to make himself just available enough to avoid scaring people off, and just standoffish enough to remain intriguing, Tuti guessed.
It almost seemed unconscious too, the way Takashi charmed everyone so easily, but Tuti wasn’t sure. Sometimes he got the distinct impression that Takashi’s interactions were more calculated than his friend let on. If he didn’t know better, he’d say that Takashi was even a little manipulative at times. Or maybe that was too harsh of a word. Maybe it was just that Takashi knew what he wanted, and didn’t mind doing what he needed to, to influence the people around him, if it meant helping him reach his goal.
Tuti watched Takashi for a few seconds longer, as he simultaneously charmed his model friend, the bartender, and Tuti himself a little, before he decided he had to stop watching this, and refilled his drink. If Takashi wanted attention that badly, he could take it from sources other than himself right now, Tuti figured. He tried his best to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of his head that was telling him to go up to the bar, and drag his friend, by force, if necessary, back to the table. Instead he just continued to refill his drink, and tried to focus his energy and his thoughts elsewhere. He was kind of curious anyway, to see how long it would take Takashi to remember he was there. So he waited…
**
It was late. Tuti glanced at his watch again, knowing that he had to go and talk to Takashi now, or it would be too late, they would both be too drunk, and it would probably end badly, with one of them stalking away after accusing the other of something or other, when really, Tuti blamed the state of the evening right now on bad luck, and poor communication, more than anything else. Then again, maybe Takashi was just being his usual flirty self, and hadn’t even noticed that he and Tuti hadn’t said much more than a simple greeting to each other all night. And even if Takashi had noticed, maybe Tuti was the only one who found it weird anyway. Maybe Tuti was just crazy to think that there was something really wrong and off about everything tonight.
But regardless, he really couldn’t believe that Takashi hadn’t come back to the table once yet. He didn’t want to be rude, and he didn’t want to interrupt the bonding session Takashi was having with his new friend, and had been having, he might add, for a very, very long time, but… he really was tired of waiting. He had invited Takashi out because he wanted to see him, and… Tuti couldn’t help turning around for what felt like the millionth time, to see if this guy would ever stop throwing himself at Takashi long enough so that he could walk over without looking like a complete fool.
And then Tuti figured that it must have been the alcohol fueling his reaction because suddenly, he had the insane urge to rip this guys arm off if he had to watch him touch his friend one more time. Takashi was leaning forward on the bar, with his arms folded in front of him, and the guy next to him was freely exploring his back, and his arms, and his neck, in a half hearted massage, that was clearly just an excuse for the kind of groping that was usually not seen in public between two guys. Takashi wasn’t responding at all though, and Tuti wondered if he was asleep, which would be a little strange, but… understandable, because this was Takashi, and Takashi was constantly exhausted for reasons that sometimes eluded Tuti.
Tuti literally felt his blood rushing in his ears as his heart pounded harder and harder the longer he watched this go on. He found himself suddenly feeling almost protective of Takashi, even though he figured his friend had practically been asking for this all along, and that if he was awake, he was probably enjoying it. But when Tuti saw the guy’s hand start to creep underneath the bottom of Takashi’s shirt though, he decided that he’d really just had enough. He pushed himself up and away from the table, crossing the distance quickly, until he was standing directly behind Takashi.
He said Takashi’s name loudly, and when he got no response, he turned his head, but couldn’t look into the stranger’s eyes next to him.
“I think it’s time for me to take my friend home, ok?” It was more a statement than a question, and Tuti forced the strange set of arms away, as he pushed his way in between this guy and his friend, crouching a little so that he was level with Takashi’s face.
Tuti shook Takashi’s shoulders, a little concerned when he still got no response, and ignored whatever ridiculous comments were being made to his back. That is, he would have ignored them, if he could hear them. The slow burn that had started in his stomach when his hand had made contact with Takashi’s warm skin seemed to be spreading throughout his whole body, and suddenly Tuti was feeling a lot more drunk than he figured he should be.
Takashi’s eyes opened, slowly and he blinked, lifting his head slightly.
He made no move to sit up though, and Tuti could tell that Takashi was now very, very drunk. He mumbled something that may or may not have been “Tuti”, and closed his eyes again, his head falling back down on his arms. Tuti blinked, but after a second he realized that regardless of how strange and dizzy he was feeling right now, and regardless of the strange correlation between this feeling, and the warm body next to him, he would have to put that aside, because it was clear that Takashi needed his help right now.
Tuti let out the breath he had been holding, and slipped his arm around his friend’s waist. “Come on, let’s go,” he whispered, and listened as Takashi whined something so quietly Tuti could barely hear him. He attempted to help his friend into a standing position, but Takashi was making it really hard. Tuti cut off whatever comment of protest was about to come from the guy next to them with a glare and an “accidental” shove with his shoulder as he half helped, half dragged Takashi and himself towards his table, where his friends were still sitting, some of them already looking over at the scene that was beginning to unfold.
Things from this point on happened in a kind of blur, as Tuti’s sense of panic began to take over, when he realized how far away Takashi was right now. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of this right now, not when they were still in the bar… he knew that he really needed to get Takashi home.
Standing in front of the table, Tuti grinned and tried not to look as embarrassed as he felt, having Takashi practically draped over his shoulder, and tried not to let his face give away how worried he was about his friend as he collected his belongings. Several eyebrows were raised in his direction, but before anyone could say anything, Tuti was laughing, loudly.
“Sorry to cut this night short, but…” And he glanced down at Takashi, who was quickly turning to dead weight under his arm, “I’m really not sure he’ll make it much longer.”
**
Outside the bar, the brisk spring air felt refreshing, and Tuti paused for a second and took a deep breath, loosening his grip on his friend slightly. Takashi’s weight was actually much less than Tuti would have guessed it to be, and he found that it was becoming easier to support him, the longer he had to. Still, Tuti figured that outside of the cramped, smoky bar Takashi would sober up a bit, and light or not, Tuti really wasn’t planning on carrying him all the way home. To his surprise though, as soon as he loosened his grip, Takashi dropped to his knees and promptly emptied the contents of his stomach onto the sidewalk.
Tuti was startled. It had been a long time since he’d witnessed something like that, and he had really never expected Takashi to be one who would drink to the point of making himself sick. He wasn’t judging his friend, he was just… surprised. Takashi was always very much in control; Tuti guessed that this had a little to do with how completely wrong it seemed for him to be witnessing this right now.
More importantly though, he was worried, and was growing gradually more so when he got no response, not even a glance from Takashi, as he crouched next to him, and asked him if he was ok. He needed Takashi to tell him where his apartment was too, if he was going to walk him home, he realized. Tuti tried a few more times, before he had no choice but to give up.
Luckily, Tuti still had Kimeru’s number in his phone. He felt a little silly, calling someone he didn’t know that well so late, but there really wasn’t anyone else he could think of quickly who would be able to help him right now. He was relieved when Kimeru picked up on the second ring. From the sounds in the background, he seemed to be sufficiently distracted and Tuti was grateful not to have to explain too many of the details, other than the fact that he needed Takashi’s address, which left him feeling a little stupid, because he figured he really shouldn’t have to be asking for such basic information about his friend. With any luck, Kimeru was drunk too though, and maybe wouldn’t even remember this later.
Without realizing it, Tuti must have sounded like he was panicking though, because Kimeru kept telling him to calm down, and that Takashi would be fine, though he used some strange nickname for him that Tuti had never heard before. Kimeru had even offered to come over, if Tuti was really worried, but Tuti politely declined, making a lame joke about Takashi’s condition being his fault anyway, before thanking him and hanging up the phone.
He was sure Takashi would never forgive him if he made a big deal about this to one of his friends anyway. At least this way, he would be able to assure him later that he had gotten him home in one piece, and discreetly at that. He hoped so anyway.
During Tuti’s phone conversation, he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of his friend, mostly because he was afraid he was going to be sick again, but also because he seemed to be quickly approaching the point of passing out completely, and Tuti wasn’t sure if he trusted him not to fall over and hurt himself. It just seemed safer at this point to keep his arm around his friend, and so after Tuti hung up the phone, he found himself sitting there, staring at Takashi, and waiting for what would happen next, while trying to figure out what to do.
Tuti was surprised at his ability to remain relatively calm right now. Thinking on his feet, unless he was on stage or in front of a camera, was not really something that he considered himself to be very good at. Somehow though, his need to protect his friend was overriding everything else right now, which, Tuti figured, was a good thing.
He would be angry with Takashi too, for being so irresponsible, if it wasn’t so distressing seeing him like this. There were a million thoughts running through Tuti’s mind but they all seemed to end in the same place, and that was with Tuti assuring himself that he had to get Takashi home, safely, in bed, and that then everything would be ok. He hoped he wasn’t being overly optimistic. Because there were darker thoughts in his mind too, thoughts that sobered him up 100%, even though he really wasn’t feeling very drunk at all anymore. Stories that he’d heard about alcohol poisoning, and… other things he didn’t want to think about. He knew that his friend’s tolerance level for alcohol was fairly weak, but he hoped that even if he was this sick, he probably hadn’t had enough to drink to put him in any real danger. It was a scary thought though.
They were both sitting on the pavement now. Takashi was pressed against him, his head resting limply against Tuti’s shoulder, and his breathing was steady, if a little labored from his efforts to stop throwing up. Ridiculous, the state they were both in, Tuti was thinking, feeling the warmth radiating through Takashi’s damp shirt, which was sticking to his arm now, since they hadn’t moved in a good ten minutes. It was cool outside, and Tuti was surprised that his friend was still flushed and sweating. He really didn’t know if it was a bad idea to try to get Takashi on his feet right now or not, but he had been waiting for a while, for his friend to seem ok enough to move, and when he was still for a few minutes, Tuti figured this was as good a time as any.
After thinking for a minute about what Kimeru had told him, Tuti realized that Takashi’s new apartment really wasn’t that far away, which made sense with what Takashi had told him earlier in the evening. He should be able to find it, despite the fact that outside of the main streets, Tuti wasn’t terribly familiar with the area. After digging the keys out of his friend’s pocket, and pulling them both into a standing position, Tuti figured they were good to go. Or as good as they would ever be.
One foot after the other, he kept telling himself, as he struggled just a little with Takashi’s weight for the three seemingly very, very long blocks that it took to get to his apartment.
Tuti was relieved once they were finally inside, as he closed the door to the apartment behind them, but… as it turned out, this was just the beginning of a very long, and very bad night, one that Tuti really wished later that he could permanently block certain parts of from his memory.
**
Thanks for reading... ^_^