On Drama and other pitfalls

[anansi133]

There's a fairly large subset of the alternative/kink/nerd demographic, who seem deeply concerned about having too much drama in their lives. "This is a drama free zone", they'll say, or, "hi drama people, stay away". I always shrugged it off, until someone pointed out to me that they're actually saying, "I'm high drama, so don't engage with me

Comments

[randomdreams]

A friend introduced me to an old Miss Manners quote, that I'm now mangling horribly, but: total honesty is often a euphemism for wanting to say hurtful things without accepting responsibility for hurting people, and in the long term, honesty is much less important to maintaining relationships than the ability to say "you were charming last night, and I don't think anyone thinks you drank too much" while keeping a straight face.

[johnpalmer]

Hm. I never saw that as "I am high drama" but I also didn't know many people who did that. So, I dunno.

If people are asking for how you "really" feel, though, and can't handle the truth, ick. Kind of a passive aggressive bullying response. "Say that you don't have any negative emotional response to X or you'll be the (undeclared) bad guy in this scenario", is what I'd fear from hearing that description.