Thoughts of the Day.
No, you don't know how much it hurts. No, you didn't break my heart.
I'm not that fragile. I guard myself well.
But if anything, that ache that you cause in me grows greater and lesser at the same time. A different type now; one that I'm not so sure can dissipate and be alleviated as easily as the one before.
I know you're not dwelling on these things. I know that you're not ready for this.
I don't blame you. Don't ever think that. Rather, I'm grateful to you; your honesty and your sincerity is part of the reason why I reached for you.
At the same time, I'm relieved. The awkwardness won't leave at once -- but it shows signs of abating. We are friends. I admire you. And I trust you. Strange as it may seem, but I do.
Let me tell you this: you've allowed me to let go of reason in a great portion of my life. You've allowed me to use my instincts and my feelings. The type of affection I feel for you is so different from that which I have experienced before.
Thank you.
You'll never see the courage I know,
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view.
I'll never glow the way that you glow,
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you.
But as the scenery grows I see in different lights,
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception.
My feelings swell and stretch I see from greater heights,
I understand what I am still to proud to mention, to you.
You'll say you understand,
But you don't understand,
You'll say you'll never give up seeing eye to eye.
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie.
You'll never touch these things that I hold,
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own,
You'll never feel the heat of this soul,
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown, to you.
You'll say "don't fear your dreams",
It's easier than it seems.
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high,
But never is a promise and you can't afford to lie.
You'll never live this life that I live,
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night.
You'll never hear the message I give,
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight.
But as the scenery grows I see in different lights,
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception.
My feelings swell and stretch I see from greater heights,
I realize what I am now too smart to mention, to you.
You'll say you understand,
You'll never understand,
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why.
I don't know what to believe in,
You don't know who I am,
You'll say I need appeasing when I start to cry,
But never is a promise and I'll never need a lie.