As a professional screw-up...
This is the article I wrote for next year's Student Body Handbook, on screwing up at Reed. It doesn't say everything I wanted to say, because that would probably take up about 70 billion pages, but hopefully a few people will get something out of it, at least.
Screwing Up At Reed
How to try to avoid it, what to do when it inevitably happens, and how to not let it convince you that you are a failure as a human being.
Nearly every bright-eyed, bushy-tailed freshmen comes to Reed certain that they will shine, an eyeball-frying beam of unwavering academic excellence. And indeed, you may be a member of that incredibly tiny fraction of Reedies who stay unfalteringly on top of their shit. However, it is more likely that at some point during your Reed career, you will fuck up. You are human, Reed is incredibly difficult, and every Reedie has only so much sanity and willpower. This article will give you a few suggestions on how to try to avoid screwing up, what to do when you inevitably screw up anyway, and how not to let your screw-ups convince you that you are a failure as a human being.
I. How To Avoid Screwing Up
The best thing you can do to keep yourself on track, as cliché as it may sound, is to talk to your professors and advisers. If you’re struggling in a class, whether because you don’t understand the material or because you’re falling behind in your work, they are your best resource to help you get your shit together. They can work with you outside of class, or hook you up with tutors and other academic resources. If you feel like you’re floundering, don’t wait for your professors to notice. Even if you feel like they’re keeping an eye out for you, Reed professors are busy people and they may not notice that your academic boat has a leak until you’re well on your way to sinking.
If you’re a serious (or even a mild) procrastinator, as so many Reedies are, learn very quickly how to procrastinate efficiently. That sounds pretty stupid. Allow me to explain. As a chronic procrastinator, I found that I could rarely motivate myself to work on long-term projects until it was late enough in the game that it became a necessity. I needed some element of pressure to get things done. I might check out a few books, download some articles, possibly even read some of them and make a few notes, but the writing wasn’t going to get done until the home stretch. The problem is that sometimes you misjudge the line that divides the time when the panic sets in and you can get things done, and the time when you have put shit off for so long that you are totally screwed. Learn this line. Learn when you have to work on things so that you can actually produce something decent and get it in on time, and when you are totally screwed.
Finally, prioritize your shit. There will likely come a time, at least once, when you have so much work to do that it is actually not feasible to be able to do a good job on all of it without destroying yourself. You cannot do everything perfectly all the time, and trying to insist to yourself that you can will only lead to soul-crushing defeat. Figure out what of your work is the most important. Remember that, in these situations, work for classes in which you are doing well goes last on the list. Don’t fall into the trap of doing work for your strong classes before your weak ones because you know you can do a good job and get it done relatively quickly. Do the work for the classes in which you are struggling first. It’s more important that you turn in an ok paper in all your classes than a great one in a class in which you’re excelling, and a shitty one in a class in which you’re doing poorly.
Get your group requirements out of the way as early as possible, and try to leave yourself with some wiggle room so that if disaster strikes, and you fail a class or something similar, you don’t have to overload your senior year in order to scrape up the 30 units to graduate.
Also, sleep and eat. Much as Reed revels in the overworked-underslept-underweight three-all-nighters-in-a-row mentality, the truth is that the more you abuse your body, the more likely you are to get screwed. You can only function so well on minimal sleep and sustenance. Try to get enough of both whenever humanly possible.
II. What To Do When You Screw Up
Tell your professors as soon as possible if you’re headed for a crash and burn. If you’re swamped with work, try to occasionally sit back and think reasonably about how much work you have to do, and whether you can reasonably do it. Can you actually research and write your 25-page Junior Seminar paper in two days? Almost certainly not, even if you are fueled by every stimulant under the sun. If you slow down and consider your workload, and you are honest with yourself, you can figure out what you can and can’t do. And if you can’t do, talk to your professors. Ideally not at the last minute, but if that’s how it goes that’s how it goes. If there’s anybody who can help you scrape through, it’s your profs. If you’ve managed to get yourself into a sticky position, they will do their best to give you your options. They do want you to pass, I promise. That doesn’t mean you will pass, unfortunately.
If you do fuck up, keep perspective. Don’t let your screw-ups suck you into soul-shattering depression. Which brings us to…
IIa. Subsection: Feelings
Reedies tend to be the kind of people who set extremely high expectations of themselves. Sometimes, those expectations are so high that they are impossible to meet. The trouble is, in the Reed atmosphere, the line between your academic achievement and your worth as a human being can be quite easily blurred. If you do screw up, it is remarkably easy to allow yourself to believe that your screw-up indicates that you are unintelligent/are worthless/can’t do anything right/are doomed to failure for all eternity. These are not good feelings. These are stupid feelings. In truth, these feelings serve no purpose except to make you more prone to despair the next time things start to loom hairy.
Blame yourself for your fuck-ups only as much as is sensible and necessary. Don’t spend days/weeks/months flogging yourself because you didn’t do everything right; try to be honest with yourself about what you did wrong, and figure out how to avoid doing it again. It is also important to remember that there are many factors in a fuck-up. Illness, personal drama, stress over other classes, and so on and so forth, can all impact your ability to keep your shit together, and that is ok.
Reed is not life. College is important, it is true, but it is not the end of the world. If you screw up, it does not doom you forever. Your ability to write a good paper, or do well on a problem set, or pass a qual is not the measure of your worth as a person, no matter how much Reed make you think so.
In conclusion, I will share with you now the words of a wise Reed professor, who gave me this advice when I was a young freshmen in his Bio 101 section. His is some of the best advice I ever received while at Reed, and I have saved his e-mail for five years. I recommend putting it on your wall.
“‘Doing your best' is in fact what you should always strive for. But 'best' totally depends on what shape you are in at the time. Some days your best may not seem all that great. But by recognizing that you did your best anyway means that you never have to punish or degrade yourself for what you might otherwise interpret as a mediocre effort.” - Steve Black
- Maggie Grove, Classics-Religion ‘09
Screwing Up At Reed
How to try to avoid it, what to do when it inevitably happens, and how to not let it convince you that you are a failure as a human being.
Nearly every bright-eyed, bushy-tailed freshmen comes to Reed certain that they will shine, an eyeball-frying beam of unwavering academic excellence. And indeed, you may be a member of that incredibly tiny fraction of Reedies who stay unfalteringly on top of their shit. However, it is more likely that at some point during your Reed career, you will fuck up. You are human, Reed is incredibly difficult, and every Reedie has only so much sanity and willpower. This article will give you a few suggestions on how to try to avoid screwing up, what to do when you inevitably screw up anyway, and how not to let your screw-ups convince you that you are a failure as a human being.
I. How To Avoid Screwing Up
The best thing you can do to keep yourself on track, as cliché as it may sound, is to talk to your professors and advisers. If you’re struggling in a class, whether because you don’t understand the material or because you’re falling behind in your work, they are your best resource to help you get your shit together. They can work with you outside of class, or hook you up with tutors and other academic resources. If you feel like you’re floundering, don’t wait for your professors to notice. Even if you feel like they’re keeping an eye out for you, Reed professors are busy people and they may not notice that your academic boat has a leak until you’re well on your way to sinking.
If you’re a serious (or even a mild) procrastinator, as so many Reedies are, learn very quickly how to procrastinate efficiently. That sounds pretty stupid. Allow me to explain. As a chronic procrastinator, I found that I could rarely motivate myself to work on long-term projects until it was late enough in the game that it became a necessity. I needed some element of pressure to get things done. I might check out a few books, download some articles, possibly even read some of them and make a few notes, but the writing wasn’t going to get done until the home stretch. The problem is that sometimes you misjudge the line that divides the time when the panic sets in and you can get things done, and the time when you have put shit off for so long that you are totally screwed. Learn this line. Learn when you have to work on things so that you can actually produce something decent and get it in on time, and when you are totally screwed.
Finally, prioritize your shit. There will likely come a time, at least once, when you have so much work to do that it is actually not feasible to be able to do a good job on all of it without destroying yourself. You cannot do everything perfectly all the time, and trying to insist to yourself that you can will only lead to soul-crushing defeat. Figure out what of your work is the most important. Remember that, in these situations, work for classes in which you are doing well goes last on the list. Don’t fall into the trap of doing work for your strong classes before your weak ones because you know you can do a good job and get it done relatively quickly. Do the work for the classes in which you are struggling first. It’s more important that you turn in an ok paper in all your classes than a great one in a class in which you’re excelling, and a shitty one in a class in which you’re doing poorly.
Get your group requirements out of the way as early as possible, and try to leave yourself with some wiggle room so that if disaster strikes, and you fail a class or something similar, you don’t have to overload your senior year in order to scrape up the 30 units to graduate.
Also, sleep and eat. Much as Reed revels in the overworked-underslept-underweight three-all-nighters-in-a-row mentality, the truth is that the more you abuse your body, the more likely you are to get screwed. You can only function so well on minimal sleep and sustenance. Try to get enough of both whenever humanly possible.
II. What To Do When You Screw Up
Tell your professors as soon as possible if you’re headed for a crash and burn. If you’re swamped with work, try to occasionally sit back and think reasonably about how much work you have to do, and whether you can reasonably do it. Can you actually research and write your 25-page Junior Seminar paper in two days? Almost certainly not, even if you are fueled by every stimulant under the sun. If you slow down and consider your workload, and you are honest with yourself, you can figure out what you can and can’t do. And if you can’t do, talk to your professors. Ideally not at the last minute, but if that’s how it goes that’s how it goes. If there’s anybody who can help you scrape through, it’s your profs. If you’ve managed to get yourself into a sticky position, they will do their best to give you your options. They do want you to pass, I promise. That doesn’t mean you will pass, unfortunately.
If you do fuck up, keep perspective. Don’t let your screw-ups suck you into soul-shattering depression. Which brings us to…
IIa. Subsection: Feelings
Reedies tend to be the kind of people who set extremely high expectations of themselves. Sometimes, those expectations are so high that they are impossible to meet. The trouble is, in the Reed atmosphere, the line between your academic achievement and your worth as a human being can be quite easily blurred. If you do screw up, it is remarkably easy to allow yourself to believe that your screw-up indicates that you are unintelligent/are worthless/can’t do anything right/are doomed to failure for all eternity. These are not good feelings. These are stupid feelings. In truth, these feelings serve no purpose except to make you more prone to despair the next time things start to loom hairy.
Blame yourself for your fuck-ups only as much as is sensible and necessary. Don’t spend days/weeks/months flogging yourself because you didn’t do everything right; try to be honest with yourself about what you did wrong, and figure out how to avoid doing it again. It is also important to remember that there are many factors in a fuck-up. Illness, personal drama, stress over other classes, and so on and so forth, can all impact your ability to keep your shit together, and that is ok.
Reed is not life. College is important, it is true, but it is not the end of the world. If you screw up, it does not doom you forever. Your ability to write a good paper, or do well on a problem set, or pass a qual is not the measure of your worth as a person, no matter how much Reed make you think so.
In conclusion, I will share with you now the words of a wise Reed professor, who gave me this advice when I was a young freshmen in his Bio 101 section. His is some of the best advice I ever received while at Reed, and I have saved his e-mail for five years. I recommend putting it on your wall.
“‘Doing your best' is in fact what you should always strive for. But 'best' totally depends on what shape you are in at the time. Some days your best may not seem all that great. But by recognizing that you did your best anyway means that you never have to punish or degrade yourself for what you might otherwise interpret as a mediocre effort.” - Steve Black
- Maggie Grove, Classics-Religion ‘09