Band-Aid
Title - Band-Aid
Rating - PG
Genre- Angst, Fluff, AU. DIDN'T HAPPEN.
Warnings - Um.... character death TT^TT, manly-girly depression
Pairings - An Cafe. Takuya/Miku, Kanon and Miku close friendship
Disclaimers -They are all I want for Christmas
Beta : prelude_of_ruin THANKS A BUNCHES!
X-posted to personal journal
The final rays of setting sunshine that filtered through Miku’s bedroom window seemed to mock Miku and his grief. Now was not a time for happiness or joy of another passing day. He pressed his tear stained face into a pillow.
It still smelled like him.
Miku groaned and pinched his eyes shut. The world had to be blocked out, no matter what. All memory of the funeral from yesterday had to be erased. It had to.
What had happened, Miku could only blame himself. The agony and weight of his lover’s death had to be his alone to bear.
Last month had been almost dreamlike as the policed searched and searched for the younger man. Miku knew no amount of wishing would do any good though. When someone is gone this long, they must be dead. Still, he didn’t let himself believe it. “Takuya is definitely alive” he lied to himself, clenching his face in a painfully fake smile.
And the fateful afternoon of Takuya’s disappearance Miku had told himself to forget too.
It was his fault for taking Takuya to that dodgy club. Miku had been there many times with consequence but this time was different.
“I’m going to get some bubble tea. I’ll be right back. Stay right here and wait for me!” Takuya had said. Miku stopped him before he wandered too far.
“Are you having fun?” he smiled playfully.
“Yes! I’m so glad you took me here, Miku. The atmosphere is amazing!” Had been the reply. With a quick kiss (that Miku realized later had been their last), Takuya shuffled off, leaving Miku with the music and dancing silhouettes of other people.
Miku waited faithfully and the time ticked by.
“Oh the line must be long.”
“Maybe he stopped at the bathroom.”
“Maybe he saw an old friend and decided to chat!”
Phrases like these kept Miku optimistic, but when and hour passed, Miku began to worry. It was impossible to find anyone within the pulse of sound and motion, so Miku was forced to wait even more. The time drifted by in such a sluggish manner, however. This left much time for Miku to be inundated with dread of what had become of Takuya.
As the club emptied, Miku remained where he stood against the wall. He held his head in his hands, hoping to look up and see Takuya’s credulous face staring back But no. The only one who was starting was the bartender who called out “Hey, we are locking up soon. You’d better leave, or I’ll call the police.”
Miku crossed the dance floor to the bar, not meeting the man’s stare. “I- I think I need to call the police. My bo- my friend said he was going to get something to drink and meet me back over there, but he never came back,” he explained.
“Alright. I’ll let you call but make it speedy.”
Miku’s cell phone shook in his hand as he dialed.
1-1-0.
But it didn’t matter what the police had said to cheer him up. In the end, a few days ago they had found Takuya’s mangled form far on the other side of town, hidden in a dumpster. The police office had told Miku that he had been kept prisoner for several days and violated many times. Then, once the kidnappers had their fun, he had been shot.
After this piece of information was learned, Miku wished he had never asked to hear why Takuya had been so prematurely taken away from him. He frequently had nightmares from which he would wake screaming
“TAKE ME INSTEAD”
And now, it was all over. Takuya’s body was beneath the ground, his soul resting in whatever afterlife waited.
And Miku was very alone
He could not longer cry, for all his tears had been spent.
Miku was drawn from his reverie by knocking.
“They probably have the wrong address…”
The knocking continued. Miku groaned and rose from his bed to answer the door. Through the peephole Miku saw immediately that the caller was at the correct address, but he did not let him in immediately. He opened the door without undoing the chain. Only an eye, red from crying, could be seen by the person outside.
“Go away Kanon. I don’t…. don’t need you here.”
The dark haired man sighed. “Miku, I know you are upset but if you want to feel better, please let me in. Okay?”
No words came from the blond. His eye just stared at Kanon sadly.
“Miku… I’m your best friend. At least I was before Takuya moved here. “
Miku sobbed once and snapped the door shut.
”You will never understand what I am going through, Kanon! Now go away or I don’t think we can be ‘friends’ or whatever you call it!” He yelled at the door.
It was silent for a while, but Miku knew Kanon was still standing there.
“Miku… please…. He was my friend too. And… I got you something to eat and a movie. Please….” His voice begged.
Kanon was rewarded with the sound of the chain being drawn back. The door opened to reveal a much disheveled Miku. His hair was untamed and lip turned in a pout. He wore nothing but a pair of boxers and a pink bathrobe. But the most alarming thing was that he was shaking, clutching the doorframe. Kanon stepped inside, observing the many empty ice cream containers and beer cans. He nudged an empty Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream carton out of the way with his foot before setting down a plastic bag. Miku turned to face him as he snapped the door shut.
“So….What did you… why are you…?” Miku mumbled, not quite looking the other directly.
“Um… Well, it’s obvious you haven’t been taking care of yourself right, so I brought some ramen. And I know you are feeling really awful right now. We all are Miku. I’ll have you know that I had the worst hang over this morning from all the shit Teruki and I have been drinking. And you…. If you keep this up you’ll be a hundred kilograms by Christmas. ” Kanon said, pointing to the general mess.
“I don’t see how you are trying to make me feel better.” Miku huffed, crossing over to his black leather couch. He sat, hugging his knees. Kanon sat lightly beside him, giving him space.
“I’m here to keep you company so that you don’t go crazy from grief.” Kanon attempted to smile.
“How can you get over this so easily, Kanon? Takuya-“ Miku shivered at the name and the pain he felt with it “- HE WAS KIDNAPPED AND RAPED! YOU CAN’T HONESTLY … YOUR BIGGEST CONCERN IS NOT ME GAINING WEIGHT!”
“True, but he’s gone Miku. Takuya is gone. It hurts a lot. I know. There really isn’t anything we can do except move on.” Kanon said quietly. His dark gaze locked with Miku’s and he found a tear slid down his cheek. He wiped it away, surprised.
“Oh… Kanon…” Miku sobbed. In a split moment, his arms wrapped tightly around Kanon, his head resting on the other man’s shoulder. The tears were falling fast again.
“We have to move on…. It hurts but we have to move on.” Kanon whispered, holding Miku gently and stroking his back. They stayed in each other’s embrace for quite sometime before Miku spoke.
“Kanon….I feel the need to confess something. It’ll make it easier for you to understand how I am feeling…I guess”
“Mmmm?”
“It’s something I never told you or any of our friends or that matter. Takuya and I- we were lovers.”
Miku felt Kanon breathe in sharply. Miku’s face flushed from his confession. He could only imagine the things running through Kanon’s head.
“You were? Well….well…. That certainly explains a lot.”
Silence.
“Miku?”
“He meant so much to me Kanon. Do you know how it feels when a piece of your heart goes missing, never to return?”
“Maybe. The shock of losing a friend is quite alarming too.”
Miku didn’t know whether this statement was referring to him, Takuya or both.
“That’s why I can’t move on, Kanon! I don’t even think I can survive in a world without Takuya! I know he’s not coming back… Do you think the angels would be angry if I thought of joining him?”
Kanon let go of Miku and looked him squarely in the face
“Miku, please don’t talk like that. With all seriousness, if there is anything you need don’t hesitate to ask me, Teruki or Yuuki. Maybe you could even send Bou a letter.”
“Perhaps, but… I just can’t bear the thought of living without him.”
“Well, let’s just take it a day at a time, okay? I think you should eat something now besides ice cream.”
Miku nodded weakly.
Later, as the credits of the comedy move Kanon picked out rolled, Miku had begged Kanon not to leave. He obliged and they fell asleep entwined in each other’s arms. At peace, for the moment.
Author Note(I feel so pro :B ): To me, beer +ice cream= manly-girly depression.